Two seemingly unrelated answers caused our favorite commenter (LMS) to make an unusual association from today’s (Tuesday’s) puzzle: 63 across was “Smooch,” for the answer KISS, and 38 down was “Mammal with a two-foot long tongue,” for ANTEATER. How does that lead to Gene Simmons, and who the hell is he anyway? Well, he is the bassist for the rock band KISS, and he is well-known (apparently) for having a very long tongue. I couldn’t accept this on faith, so I googled him and it opened quite a nest. First, here he is in his stage get-up with his famous tongue hanging out.
Now, get this — he’s 73 and was born in Haifa, Israel, as Chaim Witz. He was a CUNY student, having attended The College of Staten Island. His mother was a Holocaust survivor. He’s married to actress Shannon Tweed (they have two kids), but from 1978 to 1980 his partner was Cher, and from 1980 to 1983 his partner was Diana Ross. How did I not know any of this? What rock have I been living under?
He’s had a whole bunch of controversial doings, but this one stands out for me: During an interview on the National Public Radio program Fresh Air in 2002, Simmons told Terry Gross: “If you want to welcome me with open arms, I’m afraid you’re also going to have to welcome me with open legs,” paraphrasing a lyric from the Who’s 1981 song “You Better You Bet.” Gross replied: “That’s a really obnoxious thing to say.” In a 2014 interview with The Huffington Post, Simmons noted he was upset over what he perceived as Gross’s “holier-than-thou” attitude, which included mislabeling his band Kiss as “the Kiss.” Uh huh — “the Kiss.” I guess it’s okay then.
Well, now that we all know about Gene Simmons and his tongue, I can share a comment on today’s puzzle by LMS (who is a teacher of problem children by profession). Here it is verbatim:
So yesterday this guy came past me, on his way to search (alternative school, kids with ankle monitors and court dates. . .), with a KISS tee shirt on. I asked him if he was a fan, and he was not. He just happened to have that shirt. I helpfully told him about Gene Simmons’s seven-inch-long tongue. He smiled. But wait – there’s a prequel. . . this guy is not one of my students, so I don’t know him. More often than not, he wears sunglasses, but not in the bone-head-I-wanna-be-a-school-clown kind of way. At least this is what my spidey sense was telling me. He’s always alone, always quiet. Last week I found myself in the hall with him – just the two of us, and he had his sunglasses on. So I went for it, Question – why do you wear sunglasses so much? He looked down at me (this tall guy with long dreads dipped red at the ends), seemed to take my measure, and said, I cry sometimes. I was stunned. I said, Oh wow. Right? I bet you feel kinda protected, kinda like you’re in your own little room? He nodded, Yeah. Like that. I told him, I totally get it. I cry a lot and would love to feel that kind of safety. I usually just tell people I’ve been sneezing. But I sure wish I could wear your sunglasses sometimes. We nodded and communed in our appreciation of his sunglasses. Jeez Louise, don’t judge these kids – they’re just doing their level best to play the cards they’ve been dealt.
The puzzle’s theme was flowers with unusual names, clued in wacky ways. The clue for one of them was “The third ‘little pig’ with his house of bricks?,” and the answer was WOLFSBANE. Here’s what it looks like up close:
And here’s a poem that was posted:
Even a man who is pure of heart,
and says his prayers by night,
may become a wolf,
when the wolfbane blooms,
and the Autumn moon is bright.
Back to LMS, in a lighter vein, she says:
“I did a brief Google dive into flower names and found a bunch that could pass as a Shakespearean insult hurled at an enemy:
“Be gone, you Swamp Lousewort, you Humped Bladderwort!
A pox on you, Bastard Toadflax and your Mad Dog Skullcap of a father, too!
Out of my sight, you Cheeseweed Pussytoes!
Viper’s Bugloss! Scurfpea!”
Now, to be fair, she did some combining. E.g., Cheeseweed is a separate plant from Pussytoes. Still, it’s all great IMO.
BTW, here’s some Cheeseweed with a ladybug, followed by those pesky Pussytoes.
The clue for BABYSBREATH was “What might smell of Gerber’s products?” We’ve all seen these delicate little things, right?
And LADYSLIPPER was “Object found by Prince Charming after the clock struck midnight?”
“Pancakes with sweet or savory fillings” was the clue at 27 across, and the answer was CREPES. One person said he wrongly filled in BLINIS first, and he was berated by “Vlad P.” who said:
“BLINI is plural you soulless, capitalistic pig. One BLIN, two or more BLINI. There’s no such thing as BLINIS.”
Okay —- noted!
Finally, six down was “Wispy clouds,” which was CIRRI.
It leads to my graceful closing – this poem by Ted Kooser, from Winter Morning Walks:
Horsetail cirrus miles above,
stretched all the way from Yankton to Wichita.
I stoop on the road, small man in coat and cap,
tying his shoe.
A curled, brown leaf lies on its back,
lifting its undistinguished edges
into the glory of frost.
The Wellington Files 