Mmmmm, what’s that neat smell? Don Christopher died this month in Gilroy, CA. He was 88. We all have a lot more garlic in our diets because of this man. For much of the last century, garlic (sometimes called the “stinking rose”), was considered exotic and was rarely found in the home. The influx of immigrants in the ’70s along with more health-conscious eating laid the groundwork for a garlic boom. Gilroy became the garlic capital of the world, and Christopher became known as the Garlic King, greatly expanding its production on his farm and boosting it in every way possible. The town of Gilroy’s association with garlic was so strong that Will Rogers once said Gilroy was the only town he knew where you could marinate a steak by hanging it on a clothesline.
Christopher founded the Fresh Garlic Producers Association in 1978. In 1979 he created the Gilroy Garlic Festival, and only expected a thousand or so visitors. But over 15,000 came, and it grew to 100,000 by the early 80s. The Food Network played it up. From 1975 to 1994, the country’s garlic production tripled. Then, in 2019, a gunman opened fire at the festival, killing three and wounding 17. The festival was sued, and then the pandemic hit. The festival was canceled in 2022 and for the foreseeable future. But the demand for garlic remains strong. Don’s grandson Ken, the executive VP of the ranch, expects to set a sales record this year: Over a billion bulbs sold.
Sadly, Don Christopher died without ever getting the answer to his life-long question: How many people does it take to change a garlic bulb? The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind. The answer is blowin’ in the wind.
Here’s a shot of Christopher doing what he did best — talking up the bulbs.
The NYT obit also referred to garlic’s vampire-fighting powers.
Did you know that Count Dracula and his wife almost didn’t get married? It’s true. When they went for their blood tests, he found out she wasn’t his type. And she was upset that he never earned his college degree – he flunked art because all he would draw is blood. They also had a big fight over whether to invite his cross-dressing cousin to the wedding — Count Dragula.
But the wedding was nice — they hadn’t seen some of the family since her Bat Mitzvah. They served blood pudding, blood oranges, blood sausages, Bloody Marys, and Bloodweiser. For the band, they got Blood, Sweat and Tears. Once they were married, she almost threw him out of the castle when she suspected that his secretary was going down for the Count, and she caught them necking once. There’s always something. I could go on in this vein, but enough is enough. If you’re a little squeamish, please scroll by this shot of an actual vampire. It can be pretty upsetting.
Is there a story in the news more delicious than that of George Santos? He’s the guy just elected to Congress from Long Island after lying about everything on his record that you could lie about. I’m kind of proud that he chose to lie about going to college at a CUNY school (Baruch). He chose Baruch over the Ivies or Stanford!
He admitted to many of the lies, having no choice but to do so, but he had an explanation about his lie that he was Jewish. [You may find this hard to believe, but I am not making it up.] He said he never claimed to be Jewish. He said his claim was that he was “Jew”-ish. You know: “Jew-like.” (Based on some Jews on his mother’s side.) Put that in the “you can’t make this stuff up” file. So I got something out of the whole sordid business. Remember I was lamenting that I didn’t have a favorite suffix? It’s “ish” now. No question.
Here’s Santos, swearing to something. Does he look Jew-ish to you?
In the puzzle today, 1 across was CABALS (“small groups of conspirators”), and the word triggered a bit of a brouhaha. Commenter Natasha said the word comes from Jewish mysticism — Kabbalah, and has anti-Semitic connotations. She said the word should be shunned! Others noted the word is also associated acronymatically (I made that word up!) with five ministers in the government of England’s King Charles II. The initial letters of the names or titles of those men (Clifford, Arlington, Buckingham, Ashley, and Lauderdale) spell CABAL. Bottom line: the word does derive from the Hebraic Kabbalah, since its use predates the five ministers, but it does not appear to have taken on an anti-Semitic flavor. So you should feel free to continue using the word, as far as I’m concerned, maybe just not around Natasha. Why ask for trouble?
BTW, Charles II was known as the “merry monarch,” and acknowledged at least twelve illegitimate children. He doesn’t look all that merry, or handsome, to me. But who am I to judge?
The clue for 2 down was “Sean who voiced the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Rafael,” and the answer was ASTIN. WTF??!! I’m supposed to know that on a Tuesday? Even on a Saturday that’s ridiculous. But the acrosses were easy, so all is forgiven.
You may recognize Sean (below). He’s been in stuff, including the popular Stranger Things, and 24. And get this — his parents are Patty Duke (she of the identical cousins), and John Astin — Gomez on The Addams Family. Who didn’t love Gomez? Anyway, Sean looks like a nice kid.
There’s no such thing as identical cousins, amirite? Here are the lyrics from the old Patty Duke Show:
Meet Cathy, who’s lived most everywhere,
From Zanzibar to Berkeley Square
But Patty’s only seen the sights
A girl can see from Brooklyn Heights –
What a crazy pair!
But they’re cousins,
Identical cousins all the way.
One pair of matching bookends,
Different as night and day.
Where Cathy adores a minuet,
The Ballets Russes, and crepes suzette,
Our Patty loves to rock and roll,
A hot dog makes her lose control –
What a wild duet!
Still, they’re cousins,
Identical cousins and you’ll find,
They laugh alike, they walk alike,
At times they even talk alike –
You can lose your mind,
When cousins are two of a kind.
I tried to get a sexy shot of Patty Duke. Fuhgedaboutit. This is the best I could do, fellas. She just wasn’t that kind of girl.
With W. H. AUDEN in the grid today at 13 down, a poem would be fitting. Auden’s too hard for me, though (duh). Here’s one by Kooser from Winter Morning Walks that’s more my speed. (A photo of bittersweet follows.)
How is it bittersweet could know
to send its blind gray tendrils
spiralling into the empty limbs
of this particular cedar, dead and bony,
set apart, in winter, on a hillside,
where the bright red berries
in their orange, three-petalled flowers
are shown in such perfection?
The Wellington Files 