There is a whole crapload of words the NYT allows in its puzzles now that it didn’t used to allow. CRAPLOAD, for example. The clue for 32D was “Crazy amount,” and I filled in “cartload” first (when I had the C and LOAD), but it was CRAPLOAD, for sure.
Here’s how Rex started off today: “Look, it’s a SHIT-LOAD and a CRAP-TON and I will die on this (filthy) hill! Actually I don’t care that much, but those are the expressions that feel right to me, and they both google better than their oppositely-suffixed counterparts (well, ‘crap-ton’ does … there are issues with whether you do or don’t include a hyphen in your search term). I think ‘shit-ton’ (hyphenated) is probably what I’d say soonest, of the whole lot, followed by ‘shitload’ (unhyphenated) … I think I have largely phased ‘crap’ (and its assorted variations) out of my life, as it feels like a euphemism that has somehow over time come to sound more vulgar than the thing it’s a euphemism for (namely shit).”
Surprisingly, I had not heard of the -ton ending for either of them. But I do love the idea of a euphemism becoming worse than whatever it’s euphemizing. (Spellcheck is accepting euphemizing, BTW.)
I shared the following joke with the gang, and have received no response yet (which may be for the best):
This guy’s wife dies and he’s depressed, so a friend suggests he get a pet for companionship. He goes to a pet store and explains his situation to the store-owner. The owner says, “Sure, take a look around, I’m sure you’ll find something. And check out the dog in the backyard. He’s very unusual – he can talk.”
So the guy looks around the store and finds a couple of possibilities, and then he glances out the window and sees the dog in the yard. So he goes up to him and says, “I feel funny about this, but the owner said you can talk. Is this true?”
And the dog says, “Yes, I can talk. When I was born I was a regular dog like my brothers and sisters, but around my first birthday I suddenly became able to talk. When word got out, the CIA took me on for special projects. For example, I’d slip into meetings and listen to what was said and report back to my handlers. But after a few years they started worrying I’d be caught, so I got transferred to the State Dept. I’d go on goodwill trips, you know, if a head of state was a dog lover, they’d bring me along and introduce me. I did that for a few years, but now I’m perfectly happy just relaxing out here in the yard.”
The guy goes back into the store, and the owner says, “Did you find anything?” And he says, “Yes, a few, but let me ask you — Is that dog out back for sale?” The owner says, “That dog in the back? — Yeah, you can have him for $10.” The guy says, “Just $10 for that amazing dog?” And the owner says – “Aw, he’s full of crap — he didn’t do any of those things.
The clue at 6D was “Something simple done for pleasure,” and the answer was CHEAP THRILL.
Here are some examples of what LMS said qualify for her:
-Sliding down a staircase banister on my fanny
-Spotting the local weatherman out in the wild
-Throwing up a helicopter leaf and watching its descent
-Petting a Newfoundland, any Newfoundland
-Pogo sticking
-Getting a student to bite on the old “henway” joke (see below)
-Blowing every single white fluff thingy off the dandelion so my wish will come true
Ms. Smith, what’s a vestibule?
Well, hmm. It’s a lot like a henway.
What’s a henway?
A little over 3 pounds.
[Pause] Ms. Smith, you cringey.
I’m trying to think of what a cheap thrill for me would be. I do get a kick out of it when the conductor fails to ask for my ticket. Now that I’m a senior, though, it just saves me $4.90. It used to be around $10. Finding money on the street is always good. If it’s a penny, I adhere to the goodluck/badluck rule and only pick it up if it’s heads-up.
When I was teaching CPA Review classes I saved up all the lucky pennies I found and gave them out to the students to bring with them when they took the test. I also encouraged them to email me if any questions arose after our classes ended. And I remember once a young lady sent me an email saying she was taking the test in a week and she had a few questions for me. I answered them and wished her luck, and she wrote back to thank me and she said “I have the lucky penny.”
Other cheap thrills I can think of off the top of my head:
Zoey’s smile
Leon’s knock-knock jokes
When I get back to the car after the meter has run out but have not gotten a ticket.
When the pint of beer I ordered comes perfectly filled all the way up to the top of the glass.
When I tell a joke in class and it gets a good laugh.
When Taylor Smith is in the puzzle so I can search through photos and videos of her again. (Ana de Armas works for this too.)
When a train I am waiting for comes — the subway, NJ Transit — any train.
When anything I have ordered online is delivered.
When Karen the dental hygienist says, OK, we’re done, you can rinse now.
At 8D, “Annual competition that starts on the first Saturday in March,” was not Rabbi Heskel’s kishka-eating contest, which, seriously, you should stay away from (don’t ask). It was the IDITAROD. LMS shared this note on it (on the iditarod, not the kishka contest).
“Dad and I volunteered once at the IDITAROD, and it was a hoot. We did all kinds of stuff to help – erected a fence downtown Anchorage for the ceremonial start, took a dog-handler course so we could help a musher at the start, got to check the microchips on the dogs the morning of the race to make sure all the dogs were who they said they were.
“Our last job was to wait at the hotel headquarters for the small planes bringing back dogs who’d been disqualified by a vet for some injury, some reason it wasn’t healthy for them to continue. We’d stand out on this frozen lake (I think it was) and watch the planes materialize. As they got closer, we could see the little dog faces staring out the window, dejected. We’d get them off the plane, set them up on some straw with water and food, and then try to comfort them ‘cause every single one of them wanted to still be running with their buddies.”
Remember the “Big Dogs” t-shirts that were popular for a time? I had one that said: “If you can’t run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.” On the other side it just said “Big Dogs.” Looks like they’re still in business at bigdogs.com.
Wow, 3D really got me. The clue was “Praise for a queen,” and the answer was YAS. You hear of that? I hadn’t. It turns out it has nothing to do with, like, the Queen of England (aleha hashalom). It’s slang in the LGBTQ community, used for encouragement during the performances of drag queens. Hence, “queen” in the clue.
And how about “Pinched pasta” at 41A? Unrelated to shoplifted fusilli. The answer was FARFALLE. It’s pasta sometimes known as bowties or butterflies. It’s “pinched” in the center to form its shape. (In the puzzle, it was crossed by NERVES, clued with “Butterflies!” Well done!)
In Yiddish, farfel is small pellet- or flake-shaped pasta made of egg noodle dough and used in soups or as a side dish. The Baal Shem Tov, founder of the Hasidic movement, is said to have eaten farfel every Friday night because the word was similar to the word farfaln which means “wiped out, over and finished.” He considered the noodles symbolic of the end of the old week. It’s sort of a Yiddish food-based TGIF.
I’m more familiar with matzoh farfel at Passover, which is just matzoh broken up into little pieces mostly to be used in soup or baked into kugels.
And then there’s Farfel the Dog who was created by ventriloquist Jimmy Nelson and used in Nestle’s Quik ads from ’53 to ’65. Quite a run! An original talking Farfel can be seen at the Chocolate Experience Museum, located in Burlington, Wisconsin. Woof woof! Until you get out there, you can enjoy this funny ad.
14A was “Jumble of speech,” and the answer was WORD SALAD. So I’m thinking we’ll start with a word salad, followed by alphabet soup, but what else is on the menu? Synonym rolls would be good. And maybe whip up an omelet with a few items from the verb garden. We’ll manage.
1D was “Who reinvented the wheel in 1893?” Did you know the FERRIS wheel was invented by George Ferris, Jr. What are the odds? (That was a Robin Williams line. When he heard that Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig’s disease, he said “Wow — what are the odds?”)
It was designed and built by Ferris for the 1893 World Expo in Chicago. It was meant to rival the Eiffel Tower that took the world by storm in the Paris Expo of 1889. It wasn’t the first wheel of its type, but they are all known as Ferris Wheels now. That one was 264 feet tall. The tallest today is in the United Arab Emirates and is 820 feet tall.
The one in Chicago was quite a feat of engineering and was very popular. There were 36 cars, each fitted with 40 revolving chairs and able to accommodate up to 60 people, giving a total capacity of 2,160. The wheel carried some 38,000 passengers daily and took 20 minutes to complete two revolutions, the first involving six stops to allow passengers to exit and enter and the second a nine-minute non-stop rotation, for which the ticket holder paid 50 cents.
Let’s close today with a pretty majorette, in honor of Super Bowl Weekend.
See you tomorrow!
The Wellington Files 