I had an appointment with an oral sturgeon today. I’m having two wisdom teeth taken out. I like “taken out” better than “extracted.” Taken out sounds like they’re going on a date; extracted is serious shit with “implements.”
He went over the x-rays with me and agreed with my dentist (Kevin) that it was wise to remove them. He said his assistant would set up the date, shook my hand, and left the room. She brought up the calendar on her computer and asked me if November 14th was okay — a Thursday, at 5pm. I said it was. Then she said she’d meet me out front with some papers.
The papers said it would cost $625 per tooth and that it was scheduled for September 14th at 5pm. So I said to her, “Is it September? You said November.” And she said, “It is September. I may have said November in the room.” And I said “On purpose?” And she said, “No, why would I do that?” And I said, “Right.”
Does stuff like that happen to you too, or am I just lucky?
Trump’s lawyer was making the rounds of the Sunday TV news shows trying out defenses – trying to find one that doesn’t bring on howls of laughter. I think my favorite was that Trump was only being “aspirational” and not conspiratorial. When he asked Georgia’s Sec’y of State Ben Roethlisberger on the phone to find 11,780 votes, he was just “hoping” they could be found, you know, aspiring to them.
I had to fill out a form for the doc today and it asked for my height and weight. In that spirit, I added an inch and subtracted ten pounds. I was being aspirational.
And, btw, Mr. or Ms. Smarty Pants, I know the Georgia guy’s name is Brad Raffensperger. Here’s Big Ben.
Anais NIN was in the puzzle today, clued with “‘Little Birds’ eroticist.” She’s a popular puzzle presence for obvious reasons. She was born in France in 1903 to Cuban parents: her dad the composer Joaquin Nin, and her mom a classically trained singer, Rosa Culmell.
She started keeping journals at age 11 and kept them her whole life. They detailed her private thoughts, including those about her two marriages, many affairs, and personal relationships. She also published novels, essays, and the collections of erotica, Delta of Venus and Little Birds. She was one of the earliest, and is considered one of the finest, writers of female erotica, not that I would know. Nin was a friend, and in some cases lover, of many literary figures, including Henry Miller, John Steinbeck, Antonin Artaud, Edmund Wilson, Gore Vidal, James Agee, Tom Brady, and Lawrence Durrell. (Alright, maybe not Brady.) Many of her diaries were published, of course, and Delta of Venus was made into a movie with the actress Audie England.
Nin married Hugh Parker Guiler, a banker and artist, in 1923. But things got a little sticky when she met actor Robert Pole in 1947 in an elevator when she was 44 and he was 28. They married eight years later but she was kinda sorta still married to Guiler. So, get this — things hit the fan when both husbands claimed her on their tax returns. You can’t make this stuff up. The second marriage was annulled. She died of cervical cancer in 1977, but lives on with great popularity in Crossworld.
On the diamond, Jon Singleton of the Astros homered last Friday, which is no big deal, except that it had been eight years and thirteen days since his previous home run, the longest gap for a non-pitcher since Rafael Belliard went ten years and 144 days between dingers back in ’87 – ’97. Here’s what’s amazing about Singleton, though. He hit another one 26 minutes later!
Singleton spent much of the time between HRs in the minors, or suspended for failing drug tests. He’s admitted to being addicted to marijuana. Owl Chatter hopes he makes it. He’ll be 32 next month.
Teams like to win their series. For example, the Gnats just played Boston three games in a row, and it was a goal for them to take 2 out of 3 (as they did, surprisingly). Similarly, you very much want not to be swept in a series — you know, lose all of the games. Which brings us to the Orioles, who are having a very good year this year. As of this weekend, they have avoided being swept 78 series in a row. That’s the best streak since 1944 and the fourth best streak ever, in MLB history. The ’42-’44 Cards went 125 series without being swept; the 1903-1905 Giants went 106 series; and the ’22-’24 Yanks went 83 series. Here’s an oriole like you don’t usually see them: taking off. And, then, below, a finch, a zebra finch, not in olive drab.
This poem is from Winter Morning Walks, by Ted Kooser.
Our finch feeder, full of thistle seed
oily and black as ammunition,
swings wildly in the wind, and the finches
in olive drab like little commandos
cling to the perches, six birds at a time,
ignoring the difficult ride.
Tomorrow’s the Lollapuzzoola tournament in the city. Getting nervous. Thanks for popping by.
The Wellington Files 