Oh, we’re in for a treat today, courtesy of Rex. He regularly posts musical selections related to the puzzle and today they were over-the-top wonderful. For the clue “Handle that goes up and down?” the answer was OTIS (handle: name, then think elevator), so we got an Otis Redding tune that is not Dock of the Bay, and for some reason I can’t fathom, we got a Joan Armatrading song: Down To Zero. Let’s enjoy them right off the bat to set the tone for today’s chatter.

One commenter asked about that song: Is it possible to shiver while you’re melting?

And here’s Otis:

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Miriam Webster’s word of the day today is CHIMERA, and here’s the entry:

In Greek mythology, Chimera is a fire-breathing monster that has a lion’s head, a goat’s body, and a snake’s tail. [Quite the combo plate, see below.] In general contexts, chimera can refer to something (such as an aspiration) that exists only in the imagination and is not possible in reality.

I think I sorta knew what it means, except for the monster part, but I was mispronouncing it. It’s not shim-era with the accent on shim. It’s ke-merra, with the accent on merra. Thanks, Miriam! I won’t be making that mistake again (maybe).

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Today’s puzzle by Gary Larson (not the cartoonist) was a “zee-fest” with the letter Z added to phrases to obtain wackiness. E.g., at 53A “Cap worn at a Shriners Christmas party?” was SANTA FEZ. My fave was at 16A: “Obnoxious houseguest?” was STAYING PUTZ. In case you don’t know, a putz is a stupid or worthless person, but it also has an off-color meaning, which I wonder if the NYT considered.

I was flummoxed right off the bat at 1A, where the clue was “Half of an orange?” It turned out to be RED. WTF? Rex explained it refers to the color orange which is a combination of red and yellow. Ouch! Got me!

A PELICAN flew into the grid today, clued as the state bird of Louisiana. There was a myth that a pelican mom would stab herself in the chest with her beak to draw blood to feed her young with when food was otherwise unavailable, but that’s not true. Your basic pelican mom is, like, “I’ll dig something up for those kids. Don’t worry about it.”

Nevertheless, a pelican with a bloodstained chest became a symbol for some Christian artists who were drawn to the “sacrifice” element in the myth. In a portrait most likely painted by (or under the direction of) Nicolas Hilliard, of Queen Elizabeth I, she’s wearing a pelican pendant. It’s called The Pelican Portrait (duh). You can see the blood in the pelican detail, below.

And here’s a real pelican (no it’s not: Scuttle’s a gull). (Sorry about all this pelican chatter, owls.)

Here you go.

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In a follow-up to yesterday’s elbow incident, not to be confused with the Ox Bow Incident, former House Speaker Kevin McCarthy shot a rubber band across the House floor at Rep. Tim Burchett of Tennessee today. It fell wide of its target. It’s very hard to aim those things. McCarthy denied shooting at Burchett, but our staff photographer Phil provided us with this photo he caught of McCarthy’s right hand taken seconds before Burchett dove to the House floor.

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Headline in The Onion today: Girlfriend Signs Couple Up For Med School.

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A statue of the Virgin Mary in Mexico has been captured “crying” tears, prompting hundreds to travel to witness a “miracle.” The statue, in a church in the town of El Canal, Colima, was recorded showing what looks like tears seeping out of the Virgin Mary’s eyes.

Some witnesses believe the Virgin Mary’s tears are real, as the redness around her eyes indicates she has been crying. Yup, they’re real alright.

“Similarly, when we cry, and our eyes become red, the same happens to the image,” Victor Ramos, a local idiot, said. Of course. Makes sense.

“We can associate it with the rising violence rates here in the state of Colima, also here in the community,” he said. Yeah. That explains it.

Colima has been labelled the most dangerous city in Mexico and has held that ranking for six years. “You’d cry too,” Ramos reasoned.

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What do you have to do to get fired by the Pope? Right-wing Texas Bishop Joe Strickland turned the trick. Besides generally dissing his royal Popeship, Bishop maintained a fairly consistent level of assholery. He was behind the controversy over the Dodgers disinviting (and then re-inviting) the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence to their Pride Night this year. And, get this. According to Rachel Maddow:

“You might remember that just before the January 6th attack on Congress, like three weeks before that, in mid-Dec. 2020, there was another day of crazy right-wing pro-Trump violence in the streets of Washington, D.C. Dec. 12, 2020. A number of people were stabbed. There were brawls in the streets of Washington, running, fistfights and battles. A Black Lives Matter banner was stolen and burned from a D.C. church. The largest event pro-Trump forces had organized was the Jericho March. This was a Mike Flynn thing, where Stewart Rhodes, the leader of the Oath Keepers, called for Trump to invoke the Insurrection Act to use the military in American streets to keep Trump in power.

“And that event included an address from Bishop Strickland. A serving bishop speaking at an event that was calling for the overthrow of the U.S. government, including by the use of the Army.”

A petition signed by 10,000 people thanked the Pope for removing Strickland. It stated: Strickland “is a notoriously election-denying, QAnon-spreading, Francis-bashing, vaccine-rejecting, LGBTQ-hating, division-sowing, fire-breathing darling of right-wing Twitter. His agenda went beyond far-right culture wars to full-blown Christian nationalism, even appearing at a ‘Stop the Steal’ MAGA event.”

You can keep that stick thing and the costume. Just get out.

Arrrrrgh. See you tomorrow.