Just when it looked like things couldn’t get any worse for beleaguered Harvard University president Claudine Gay, security footage released by local police on Thursday shows her holding up a Seven-Eleven at 4 College Avenue in Somerville MA late Wednesday night. The videotape shows Gay pointing a small handgun at a terrified female cashier and saying “Hurry, bitch.”
In Owl Chatter’s endless pursuit of nonsense and idiocy, we sometimes come across a story so ridiculous, so idiotic, that it’s nothing short of exquisite, a thing of pristine beauty. And so today, we have the full-page story (!) in the NYT about Cranston High School West in Rhode Island that is besieged by the sound of gunfire all day long from a police shooting range less than 500 yards away. Here’s the school.
For example, on a typical day, shots ring out at 8:13 am from an AR-15 style rifle with .223-caliber bullets at 94 decibels and continue nonstop for 49 minutes. The following is the third paragraph in the story, verbatim:
“Some days they shoot Glock pistols, like the weapons used in the mass shootings at Virginia Tech, the Charleston church and Thousand Oaks, Calif. Other days, they use AR-15-style semiautomatic rifles, similar to the ones used in the killings in Newtown, Conn.; Las Vegas; Parkland, Fla.; Buffalo and Uvalde, Texas.”
The students are freaked at first — freezing, diving under desks — but they quickly get so used to it that it becomes normal background noise. The obvious result is they won’t react in the event of an actual shooting incident (for which they train incessantly, of course).
Parents are up in arms (oops, sorry), demanding the range be moved or enclosed, but the police are opposed, maintaining the facility is necessary for them to fulfill their mission of protecting the public. (Ya mean the public that is screaming its head off at you? That public?) During the pandemic, adults who stayed home instead of commuting to work couldn’t believe what they were hearing. (Play the short clip, below.)
Incidents occur that would seem funny if the situation weren’t insane: a new art teacher diving under her desk and calling for a lockdown; visiting athletes at a track invitational “hitting the turf.” (You cannot make this stuff up.)
Under pressure, the police applied for a $1.6 million grant to enclose the range but the request was denied. They reduced the number of outside groups that use the range and put in some sound-absorbing panels and shrubbery to dampen the noise, with laughable results of course. ”These are our last efforts,” the police told the mayor. ”We will not be making any further accommodations.”
Owl Chatter’s advice: DUCK!!!
So with Colorado tossing Trump off the ballot because the United States Constitution (remember that?) says his support for the insurrection disqualifies him, the Republicans are all screetching that the voters should decide – not a court. Note that they’re not saying he didn’t support the insurrection: just that the voters should decide. But the Constitution specifically takes it out of the hands of the voters in this case. That’s the whole point of the provision. Apparently, in Crazyland, it’s okay to sanctify the Constitution to support the “originalists” on the Supreme Court when they take away basic rights, but ignore it completely when it comes to Trump.
One to go! The Pistoffs lost a close one to the Jazz last night, but a loss is a loss. That’s 25 in a row. Tomorrow they play Brooklyn and a loss ties the all-time single-season consecutive loss record. I’ll be honest, guys — I’m getting nervous. The game’s in Brooklyn, which is a shame. It would be nice if they could tie the record in front of their fans.
Today’s puzzle! It’s by two top-notch constructors, Brooke Husic and Brendan Emmett Quiqley, and Rex rated it “challenging.” So I’m quite proud that I was able to complete it. There was all sorts of trickery involved but I shoulda known I’d be okay when my goddam Hebrew school background helped me at 1A: ”Numbers can be read in this.” Ans: TORAH. The stuff I didn’t know filled itself in from the crosses. Like LEONA Lewis, who “played Grizabella on Broadway.” What? Who? Oh, hi Leona — nice to meet you.
Are you thinking 5D: HOW DO YOU DO IT? (“Question expressing amazement?”) I loved 26D: ”Didn’t you just leave?” Ans: BACK SO SOON? And 21D: ”Take my word for it, you’re going to love this.” Ans: THANK ME LATER.
At 45A, “Texter’s ta-ta” was CYA, which was new to me: It’s textspeak for “See ya.” Some folks thought it would work better as the initialism for “cover your ass.” In fact, I commented that an alternate clue could be: ”The converse of moon.” There were in fact a couple of tuchases in the puzzle! The first was at 19A with a great but hard clue: ”Emphatic suffix.” Ans: ASS. Get it? Like when you say it was a big-ASS affair, or that was some hot-ASS chili. The ASS is added for emphasis. And then 47D referenced it: ”19 across to a Brit” was ARSE. That’s why it would have been nice if CYA was used to continue the mini theme, or mini-ASS theme, if you prefer.
OK, folks. I have to go watch the Georgia Tech-Central Florida bowl game. I have some in-laws in GA with an interest in it. So let’s end with a holiday cat pic Rex posted today. This exquisite cat is Barney. He’s a senior citizen and a professional model — this shot is from a spread he did for AARP.
Can’t beat that for a closing. Meow.
The Wellington Files 