Is your alligator license up to date? Tony Cavallaro’s expired in 2021, and the next thing he knew the NYS Department of Environmental Conservation Gestapo took his alligator, Albert Edward, away. Albert’s 34 years old, kinehora, 11 feet long, and weighs 750 pounds. Sadly, he’s blind and has spinal injuries. From the side, he looks a little like my cousin in Tacoma. His back isn’t so hot either.
I gotta tell ya, his digs were pretty posh. Tony built an addition to his house for Albert and it included an in-ground pool. Have a look for yourself. That’s Albert chillin’ over there in the upper left corner.
It’s illegal to own an alligator in NY unless you get an alligator license for “scientific, educational, exhibition, zoological or propagation purposes.” (Propagation of the alligator, I assume — you can’t get one just to make it easier for you to meet girls.) Well, Tony had an expired license and the State said he also violated the rule against public contact with the alligator.
Tony, who is 64, pretty much had a “C’mon fellas” defense. He conceded that visitors took pictures with Albert, but they never swam with him or rode him. “They would briefly get in the water for a quick photo, often when he was sleeping.”
Seems reasonable to us. What could happen?
Also, rule changes required Tony to install a fence costing $15,000. C’mon fellas!
Tony had Albert since he (Albert) was a baby. He bought him at a reptile show in Columbus, OH, in 1990. For the past 16 years it has just been the two of them living together. About the removal, Tony said “The poor thing loves me. He was scared. I hope I can get him back, that’s all.” On how the removal was managed, Tony complained the DEC “brought at least 20 or more agents to my house in full body armor and guns, treating me like a criminal. It was like I was a gun-dealing, drug-dealing criminal the way they acted.”
Tony is planning legal action to recover Albert and a petition campaign has been mounted which has gathered over 100,000 signatures.
Hang in there, Tony and Albert — it ain’t over till it’s over.
This poem, in honor of the onslaught of Spring this week — hold on a sec — I think I mean onset — was sent to us by dear friend Norrie. It’s [in-Just] by e.e. cummings, and is her favorite, she tells us. Thanks Nor!
in Just-
spring when the world is mud-
luscious the little
lame balloonman
whistles far and wee
and eddieandbill come
running from marbles and
piracies and it’s
spring
when the world is puddle-wonderful
the queer
old balloonman whistles
far and wee
and bettyandisbel come dancing
from hop-scotch and jump-rope and
it’s
spring
and
the goat-footed
balloonMan whistles
far
and
wee
One no sooner started the puzzle today then who pops up at 1A? — Our favorite old lefty, ABBIE Hoffman, alav hashalom. “1960s activist Hoffman,” doesn’t quite capture him, but, okay — Hi Abbie!
Rex honored him by making him the “word of the day,” but mostly discussed his legal woes. And one commenter nicely said: “Any puzzle that leads off with ABBIE Hoffman is going to be just fine by me.”
I shared the following with the gang via this post:
I went to Brandeis 8 years after ABBIE Hoffman graduated, and he came back to speak while I was there. Politics aside, he was a very funny man. When he was negotiating with the Miami police chief over demonstrations down there, he said at one point — “Listen, if one curly hair on this head is hurt, my father will never come to Miami Beach again.” And the chief said, “Abbie — I know your father. He’ll come.”
Abbie was the first “Sandwich Man” at Brandeis – selling sandwiches dorm to dorm at night.
He said he was opposed to women’s rights — “Why, if women had rights, the next thing you know — men will want them too.”
The FBI file on him was 13,262 pages long, according to wikipedia.
It’s nice to see him in the puzzle.
Rest in peace, Abbie. Class of ’59.
egs was up to his usual tricks on three puzzle answers: ABORT, FLAUNT, and STYES. To wit,
At Cape Kennedy they no longer ABORT takeoffs due to pressure from the Right to Flight movement.
I don’t personally FLAUNT my wealth. Sure, I show off, but not shamelessly. Take my private jet, for instance. I’ve got a bumper sticker on it that says “Honk if you Wish No One Was Poor.”
If your dorm room mates are “roomies,” I guess a pig’s are STYMIES.
We’re going out on a sad note tonight. Special wishes for our good friend Riverdale Joe on the loss of his wonderful cousin Josh yesterday. The world has lost a real mensch, at a time when they are in short supply. At the risk of embarrassing Joe, here’s a photo he sent me of the two of them earlier tonight. That’s Josh on the right, alav hashalom. It was July 24, 1954. The future, as it turned out, was bright.
Thanks for stopping by.
The Wellington Files 