Even in a blog like Owl Chatter devoted to unmitigated nonsense, a topic of serious importance sometimes arises. Today we are pleased to report that a terrible wrong has been righted. After 60 years (!), Captain (Cap’n) Crunch’s uniform has finally been fixed. (The Cap’n’s full name, btw, is Horatio Magellan Crunch.)
Despite decades of distinguished service, until recently the Cap’n’s coat only had three bars on each sleeve — appropriate for the lower rank of Commander. At the risk of shocking you, dear readers, in some cases it bore only two bars, befitting a lieutenant, or (gasp), a single ensign’s bar. C’mon Quaker Oats — get your f*cking act together. General Mills would have never committed such a rank faux pas.
Anyway, last year, in honor of the Cap’n’s 60th birthday, kinehora, his coat was redesigned with the correct number of bars on his sleeves.
To celebrate the unveiling, at last year’s San Diego’s Comic-Con, 60 cosplayers marched the streets dressed as the good Cap’n. Here they are, in formation. Aye, aye!
If anyone could knock Stormy Daniels off the front pages of Owl Chatter it would have to be someone the caliber of Kristen Stewart. Who doesn’t love sexy vampire women, I ask you? Kristen’s wild and decidedly skimpy outfits on the publicity tour promoting her film Love Lies Bleeding were the subject of a Style feature in the NYT today. The Times wisely assigned the story to Vanessa Friedman, a woman, no doubt determining that any man covering Kristen would be in danger of having his head explode.
Let’s have a look. First, here’s Kristen when she’s not even trying. Could you plotz?
The most controversial pose was her Rolling Stone cover shot. CBS told Steven Colbert not to show it on TV, but he must have missed the memo.
As Friedman describes: “She then wore an abbreviated black mini with a mesh bra, garter belt-’n’-stockings and a leather blazer for Late Night With Seth Meyers, below. Paparazzi also caught her exiting her building in tiny cream-colored knit hot pants and a bra worn under a khaki shirt, with stilettos, and then in athletic Chanel micro shorts and matching leg warmers. Again with heels.”
As Friedman explains: “The clothes were like a dare to the watching world, a refusal to cater to pretty-girls-in-pretty-dresses gender expectations and a good-natured riposte to the idea that provocation is an invitation. An ‘I see your judgment and raise you one’ piece of fashion politics.”
I’m way too stupid to understand any of that, but so what?
Today’s poem is “Every Day.” It’s from The Writer’s Almanac, and it’s by Tom Clark, a very lucky man.
Awake the mind’s hopeless so
At a quarter to six I rise
And run 2 or 3 miles in
The pristine air of a dark
And windy winter morning
With a light rain falling
And no sound but the pad
Of my sneakers on the asphalt
And the calls of the owls in
The cypress trees on Mesa Road
And when I get back you’re
Still asleep under the warm covers
Because love is here to stay
It’s another day and we’re both still alive
The puzzle today was a good old-fashioned rebus, i.e., more than one letter is squooshed into a single square here and there around the grid. The “revealer” clue was “Puzzling activity, as seen four times in this puzzle?” and the answer was ESCAPE ROOM. Then, in four places the letters ESC were merged into a single square working both across and down. My favorite combo was “‘It’s so over for us,’” (WE’R[E SC]REWED), crossing “1970s-’80s sitcom about a trio of zany roommates” (THRE[E’S C]OMPANY).
Munch’s TH[E SC]REAM was part of another duo. I bet as he painted it, he daydreamed about its making it into the NYTXW puzzle one day. You made it, Edvard! Are fans of Munch “Munchies?” (Asking for a friend.)
As is obvious, at Owl Chatter we are obsessed with authenticity. So we sent Phil over to Oslo to get some shots of the actual painting as it hangs in the National Museum. Here it is.
This original version is even more terrifying than the adaptation we are used to seeing, below. Munch described his inspiration for the famous painting (the real one):
“One evening I was walking along a path, the city was on one side and the fjord below. I felt tired and ill. I stopped and looked out over the fjord – the sun was setting, and the clouds turning blood red. I sensed a scream passing through nature; it seemed to me that I heard the scream. I painted this picture, painted the clouds as actual blood. The color shrieked. This became The Scream.”
Okay — you can put it down now, fellas — thanks!
Munch actually created four versions: two in paint and two in pastels. In one, there is a barely visible pencil inscription “Kan kun være malet af en gal Mand!” (“could only have been painted by a madman”). It was first thought this was added by a critic or a visitor to an exhibition, but it was eventually proven that Munch himself added it, perhaps after the critical comments made when the painting was first exhibited in Norway in 1895. Munch was deeply hurt by that criticism, being sensitive to the mental illness that was prevalent in his family.
The in-laws — amirite Eddie?
Commenter Teedmn had this to say about ESCAPE ROOM:
“I had my first and only ESCAPE ROOM experience about a month ago. We were given an hour to save the world from nuclear holocaust because the countdown had started and we needed to solve the riddles and puzzles to find the 4 keys to turn off the clock. I found it to be an exhilarating experience. My friends and I all did our part in solving, no one sat back and watched, we all dug into the mysteries. We found a second room, we had to use a phone, we solved a jigsaw that gave us clues, we found a mysterious tool in a drawer that I figured out could be used to turn a 45 RPM record in a box to pop open another drawer, etc. etc. I was buzzed with excitement for a couple of days after we did it – we succeeded with a number of hints from the staff and 30 seconds left before Armageddon. Woohoo! (The woman who gave us instructions, pre-solve, told us that only 33% were successful and those who failed were the ones who refused to ask for clues. We were not proud.)”
Where are you on this debate that broke out? The clue at 32D was “Round sandwich,” and the answer was OREO. First comment on it said, “An Oreo is not a sandwich.” The second (and third) countered: “It’s a ‘sandwich’ cookie, so the clue is acceptable.” Owl Chatter’s view: Close enough for crosswords.
Hey — this clinches it! — “cookie sandwich.”
Gotta run. Thanks for popping in. See you tomorrow!
The Wellington Files 