Owl Chatter’s political correspondent Georgie Santos is covering the trial for us. His first report is headlined: Nation Trains Its Eyes On Trump’s Pecker. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to understand much of David Pecker’s testimony so he mostly focused on Trump’s falling asleep and farting.
According to Georgie, the falling asleep part is for sure, and the farting has been noted by several sources but has not been as well established. “Odor in the Court” was one report. George Conway (anti-Trump hubbie of Kellyanne) put some wind behind the sails, so to speak, saying he heard unconfirmed stories that Trump had become a blasting zone, but the sources remain unnamed.
Remember this scene from Horsefeathers?
Connie: Oh, Professor, you’re full of whimsy.
Prof. Wagstaff (Groucho): Can you notice it from there? I’m always that way after I eat radishes.
Zach, we hardly knew ye! But the little we did know of ye was enough for us to know ye stink!
We are referring to the Jets’ hapless QB Zach Wilson whose sentence was commuted yesterday via a trade to Denver. What did the Jets get in return? Well, they swapped a seventh-round draft pick for a sixth-round pick. OK. And? Um, they saved $2.75 million they would have had to pay him. Alright. Fine.
Remember Zach’s hot mom, below? Looks like she could be the girlfriend, right? (Also below.)
Oh no! Wait! Make that ex-girlfriend. D’oh! They broke up and she claimed he slept with his mom’s best friend!! Yikes — let’s just tiptoe away from that one.
We wish him well. Much of his undoing wasn’t his fault. Good luck Zach.
Ever have a waiter like this? The story is from last Sunday’s Met Diary and is by Ronni Shulman Mallozzi. Of course, we’re only getting one side of the story.
Dear Diary:
My husband and I were hosting guests from out of town at an upscale restaurant on the Upper East Side.
A waiter came to the table and asked in a haughty tone if we were ready to order.
When it was one of our guests’ turn, she paused.
“I’m trying to decide between the lamb and the roast chicken,” she said. “What do you suggest?”
“I suggest you make up your mind,” he said, and then walked off.
Shakespeare’s birthday is observed on this date (1564), and it’s Vladimir Nabokov’s too (1899). Quite a duo. They were both very much aware of our mortality. WS wrote: “We are such stuff
as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep.” And Nabokov, more darkly: “The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness.”
Ouch. Thanks. Have some cake, fellas!
Here’s Vlad on a butterfly excursion, regretting he brought Phil along but, thankfully, unarmed.
Today’s puzzle is dedicated, sort of, to breaking a hallowed Crossworld rule: No two-letter words! The trick today was that the theme answers, the longer answers, were strings of two-letter words. The best one was clued with: “Yuck! I’ve dated him before. Swipe left!” And the answer was OH NO! EW! HE IS MY EX.
Also, “Can this be a gift from all of us?” was: OK IF WE GO IN ON IT?
At 55A, “$5 bill, slangily” was FIN. The notes say it’s related to the Yiddish word for five — finif. And Commenter Diane wrote: It brought back a happy memory. My parents were always prompt regarding dinner. Once we had to wait to get in a restaurant and my mom furtively turned to my husband and said regarding the host at the front, “Just slip him a fin!” How I miss the folks of that generation and their fun expressions, among many other wonderful qualities they possessed!
At 10D the clue was: “Announces the big reveal in a magic act,” and the answer was, well, let me turn this over to Rex. Rex hated the whole puzzle, but this particular clue/answer really set him off:
“Usually the long stuff comes to the rescue a bit, but probably the worst thing in the grid is an astonishing 10 letters long: SAYS PRESTO! (10D: Announces the big reveal in a magic act). I think I actually said ‘oh my god, No!’ to my computer as I filled that in. SAYS PRESTO!!? I normally use EAT A SANDWICH as the gold standard of “random verb phrase that absolutely cannot stand on its own” but SAYS PRESTO really wants to be the new representative of that category. You say this … when describing a magic act? How many … times … have you done that? (Answer: none, no times). SAYS PRESTO is about as solid an answer as EATS PESTO or LEAVES MODESTO. A comically preposterous answer.”
The silver lining: he shared this neat tune by Pedro the Lion, called Modesto:
Enough. More nonsense tomorrow. See you then.
The Wellington Files 