It was two days and 705 years ago (on August 10, 1519) that Magellan set sail from Seville on his voyage around the globe. Seems like yesterday, I know. There was a discussion of explorers on Seinfeld in one episode. Seinfeld was pretty impressed with Magellan. He thought de Soto was overrated for discovering the Mississippi River. “Like they wouldn’t have found that anyway.”
But Magellan himself never made it all the way around the globe. His fleet stopped off in what are now the Philippine Islands and he became friends with a local chief who was at war with a nearby island. He agreed to assist him in battle — what are friends for? — and was killed. D’oh! He was only 41. His fleet sailed on and arrived back in Seville on Sept. 8, 1522. He started out with five ships and 270 men, but only one ship returned, with 18 aboard.
He had crossed through South America via the Strait of All Saints, which was since renamed the Strait of Magellan, and reached that big ocean thing on the other side. It was Magellan who named it the Pacific Ocean, since it was calmer than the Atlantic. He was the first European to reach it from the east.
The man could grow a beard: I’ll give him that.
In yesterday’s puzzle one commenter took issue with one of the clues as follows. The answer was PACK YOUR BAGELS AND GO, and the clue was “Eviction notice sent to a New York deli owner?” The comment was: “Bagels are served at a bagel shop, not at a Deli. Why you may ask? Because bagels are served with a schmeer (dairy), and you can’t mix dairy with meat, which defines a deli.”
I agree that bagels are sold in bagel shops, but you can’t use the word bagel in the clue if it’s part of the answer. Also, the meat/dairy issue only holds for a kosher deli, and there aren’t that many of them. I think your basic NY deli will have bagels (so they can have lox on the menu). So I think, overall, the clue is defensible.
Let’s see how you do on the medical expense question from my recent tax exam. There were six parts. How much, if anything, can count as a medical expense for tax porpoises? (Answers below) These are all out-of-pocket costs, beyond what insurance covered. All payments were made during the tax year.
(a) Round trip uber-fare to get to and from a doctor’s appointment, $45.
(b) Cost of installing air-conditioning system in home on doctor’s orders for a breathing condition. Cost $8,000. Value of home increased by $1,500. System expected to last 10 years..
(c) Prescription sunglasses, $75. Same glasses without the Rx ($25).
(d) Organic foods eaten on doctor’s orders due to food allergies, $175. (The same foods, non-organic, $120.)
(e) Housekeeper hired for daytime hours to assist invalid. Not an RN. 25% of services are medically-related. Total expense: $1,200.
(f) Cost of 3-day hospital stay: $20,000. If you had to allocate a portion to food/lodging, it would be 10%.
Answers:
(a) $45. Transportation to doc appts are included as medical expenses.
(b) $6,500. Capital expenditures are included to the extent the cost exceeds the increase in value. The life of the item is not relevant. The expense is claimed when paid.
(c) $75. Cost of corrective lenses/glasses are counted fully as med expenses.
(d) $55. Only the excess cost is allowed here. Same with books in braille, if they still exist: can only count the excess cost over regular book’s cost.
(e) $300. Need to allocate cost between med and nonmed functions. If it were an RN, would be fully deductible.
(f) $20,000. Hospital stays count in their entirety. No need to subtract any amount for food/lodging.
Fun, right?
Okay, no further questions. You can get dressed now.
A study in The Onion came up with some surprising results.
Study: Gen Z Having Less Sex Due To Allure Of Leftovers At Home
BLOOMINGTON, IN—A new study released Monday by the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University found that members of Generation Z are having less sex than previous generations due to the allure of leftovers at home. “We found that a large segment of Americans between the ages of 18 and 27 routinely forgo sexual activity because the temptation of the takeout from two nights ago they know is waiting for them in the fridge is simply too hard to overcome,” lead researcher Janice Longhorn said. Four out of five participants stated they would prefer to go home alone to consume cold sesame noodles straight from the container rather than engage in consensual sex with someone they found attractive. “The main priorities for Gen Z seem to have less to do with finding partners for sex and more to do with the second half of the burrito, Reuben, or chana masala they know will be almost as good leftover as it was when it was fresh.
I’ve never seen a Calvin and Hobbes comic strip, but an interesting discussion arose today. In the puzzle, the clue was “Hobbes, vis-à-vis Calvin,” and the answer was IMAGINARY FRIEND. Calvin is a six-year-old boy, and Hobbes is, well, what? To some he’s a stuffed animal tiger. But to Calvin, he’s a living anthropomorphic tiger and they have adventures together. Because of this duality, some commenters quibbled about his being described as an “imaginary friend.”
Commenter Emily Ransom was very helpful on the matter:
“Vis-a-vis Calvin,” Hobbes is very much a pet tiger, not an imaginary friend. Watterson himself was famously ambivalent about whether Hobbes was a figment of Calvin’s imagination or a magic tiger that came to life. His explanation in the introduction to The Complete Calvin and Hobbes is oft quoted by aficionados, and I can’t restrain myself from putting it in here, just to nerd-complain about the clueing of “imaginary friend.”
“The so-called ‘gimmick’ of my strip — the two versions of Hobbes — is sometimes misunderstood. I don’t think of Hobbes as a doll that miraculously comes to life when Calvin’s around. Neither do I think of Hobbes as the product of Calvin’s imagination. Calvin sees Hobbes one way, and everyone else sees Hobbes another way. I show two versions of reality, and each makes complete sense to the participant who sees it. I think that’s how life works. None of us sees the world exactly the same way, and I just draw that literally in the strip. Hobbes is more about the subjective nature of reality than about dolls coming to life.“
Let’s end tonight with a small story of joy. Joy and a sandwich. It’s from yesterday’s Met Diary and is by Kerry Madden-Lunsford.
Dear Diary:
It was 1985, and I was on my first trip to New York. I had driven up from Knoxville with a boy who didn’t like to drive. He was chasing a boy in the city, and I wanted to see the city.
After we arrived, he went his way, and I went mine. I stayed with some actor friends but spent most days alone with a tiny bit of money, trying to soak up everything.
Walking past a deli one day, I saw a sign scrawled on butcher paper: “Free sandwich if you can name Meryl Streep’s first movie.”
I walked inside and approached the man at the counter.
“I know the answer,” I said.
“Oh yeah,” he said. “What is it?”
“It’s ‘Julia,’” I said, speaking quickly. “Meryl Streep’s first movie was ‘Julia’ starring Jane Fonda and Vanessa Redgrave.”
The man looked irritated.
“How’d you know that?” he said. “I can’t believe you knew that. Man. OK, what sandwich do you want?”
“Really?” I said.
“What sandwich — you won. Come on. Hurry it up.”
He pointed to a menu on the wall. I couldn’t believe it. I had won a sandwich, and it was free, and I was broke, and knew Meryl Streep’s first movie.
He made me a great sandwich — chicken salad on rye, maybe? I remember eating it in the spring sunshine, so happy to be out of Knoxville and on the streets of New York.
See you tomorrow!
[Chicken salad? Seriously? Gotta go for the brisket or corned beef. This woman was definitely from out of town.]
The Wellington Files 