OMG! Matt Gaetz! It’s already so much more wonderful than we ever imagined! We are qvelling.
This is from the NYT:
Representative Max Miller, Republican of Ohio, told reporters that many members of the GOP conference were shocked at the choice of Mr. Gaetz for attorney general, but mostly thrilled at the prospect that he might no longer be a member of the chamber. The House, Mr. Miller added, would be a more functional place without Mr. Gaetz.
And get this — (We are not making this up. It was reported by historian Heather Cox Richardson in her newsletter.) Pete Hegseth, the guy you-know-who is appointing Sec’y of Defense, said in 2019 that he had not washed his hands in ten years because he does not believe germs are real.
Andy Spragg of the Dull Men’s Club (UK) posted this short note with this lovely drawing:
I was amazed to discover, when I weighed a plastic bucket on the kitchen scales, that it weighed 454 gm i.e. exactly 1 lb (to the nearest gram, anyway).
Shaun Gisby: It might be underweight; is it a little pail?
This poem by Louis Jenkins from today’s Writer’s Almanac is called “Mockingbird.”
I remember when I was a child I had a pair of canaries
in a cage in my bedroom. I had the idea that I would
raise and sell canaries. I asked one of my sisters if she
remembered them. She remembered that they were
parakeets, not canaries. I asked another sister. She said
she didn’t remember any canaries but she remembered
how mean I was to her. My youngest sister doesn’t
remember having birds but thinks that we had a pet
rabbit. I don’t remember that. My brother thinks we
had a pet crow that talked. I don’t remember a crow
but I remember we had a myna bird for a while that
said, “Hello sweetiepie,” but he belonged to someone
else. My mother says that she would never have
allowed birds or any other animals in the house. I
remember how the female canary ignored the male
but chirped plaintively to a mockingbird that sang
outside my window all summer long.
Today’s puzzle theme was “Back in Black,” an AC/DC album from the 80s. The word “back” had to be inserted in three black squares for the answers surrounding the squares (on all four sides!) to cohere. E.g., at 17D the clue was “Certain bribe” and the answer was KICKBACK. But there were only 4 letters for the answer. So we were to fill in KICK and the black square after it signified the BACK.
Rex shared this haunting Amy Winehouse song with us. Rest in peace, Amy.
If you’re feeling defiant instead of mournful, try this one on. It’s Johnny Cash!
One of the “Back in Black” clues was at 37A: “Red carpet attire.” The answer was (Back)LESS dress. Here’s a tasteful one my tax student Lila modeled for Phil. [OK Philly — just walk away now — she has a midterm to study for next week.]
Hop-scotching the news:
In the “We’re F*cked” Dept, here are the first two paragraphs from a story in the NYT today:
One year after world leaders made a splashy promise to shift away from fossil fuels, countries are burning more oil, natural gas and coal than ever before, researchers said this week.
Global carbon dioxide emissions from fossil fuels are on track to reach a record 37.4 billion metric tons in 2024, a 0.8 percent increase over 2023 levels. It’s a trend that puts countries farther from their goal of stopping global warming.
Ya think?
Actually, emissions declined in the U.S. and Europe and fossil fuel use slowed in China. It’s India and the rest of the world that are ramping up.
Next.
The morality police!! What a great idea — who says Iran is a backwards country?? According to a story in the British paper The Telegraph, Iranian women who resist wearing the hijab will be given treatment at a specialist mental health clinic: the aptly named Clinic for Quitting Hijab Removal. The clueless moron who will run the clinic said it “will be for the scientific and psychological treatment of removing the hijab, specifically for the teenage generation, young adults, and women seeking social and Islamic identity.” Is it me? I’m not getting what “the scientific treatment of removing the hijab” means. How scientific can taking off your clothing be? What’s the science — gravity?
The director said the project is focused on promoting “dignity, modesty, chastity, and hijab” and claimed that attendance would be “optional.” Well, that’s a relief. On the other hand, the clinic will be overseen by Iran’s Headquarters for Enjoining the Good and Forbidding the Evil, the governmental body responsible for enforcing strict religious standards across society. I guess that’s why “optional” is in quotes above.
[“Enjoining,” btw, is one of those words that means both itself and its opposite: a contronym. To enjoin means both “to encourage” and “to prohibit” depending on the context.]
Earlier this month, in an act of extraordinary and unimaginable courage, a university student from the Islamic Azad University in Tehran stripped to her underwear to protest against the demands that women wear the hijab. She was branded mentally ill and taken to a psychiatric facility. There’s your “optional.”
The anti-hijab movement grew after the death of Mahsa Amini in morality police custody. The 22-year-old was arrested for not wearing her hijab properly. Da noive! Dead now. Twenty-two.
Tehran continues to suppress women with increased covert surveillance, a stronger morality police presence, and bans on unveiled women entering public spaces. The UN calls it “gender apartheid.” Sounds like cold-blooded murder to us.
This video is, unfortunately, in Finnish. But you can get a sense of what it’s trying to convey. It instructs on the proper way to open a door. I ask you — who among us can’t use a little help in that area?
If you are ever in Jamesburg NJ (which is, admittedly, unlikely, since we have lived in Jersey since 1986 and today was our first time in J-burg), Bovine Burgers makes a good $12 burger. The fries are good too and they use canola oil so the saturated fat guilt is minimized. Good beer on tap. (Burp!) All bases covered.
See you tomorrow!
The Wellington Files 