Once every so often, a figure emerges onto the scene who is perfect for Owl Chatter, our blog devoted entirely to nonsense. These days, I wake up each morning, clutch on to both sides of the bed, and thank God for Peter Hegseth.
The NYT released an email from his own mom calling him despicable and abusive in his treatment of women. She accused him of “lying, cheating, sleeping around and using women for his own power and ego.” “On behalf of all the women (and I know it’s many) you have abused in some way, I say…get some help and take an honest look at yourself,” Pete’s mom wrote.
His second marriage broke down after he got a co-worker pregnant. And there was that silly rape charge brought against him in 2017. Pete said it was consensual. Consensual rape. Charges were not brought.
To their credit, Republicans are outraged. Oh, wait a minute — they are outraged at The Times for publishing it. Never mind.
Pete’s mom told The Times that she wrote the email at a turbulent time in the family’s private life and insisted her son was “a good father and husband.” Insisted!
Now, I ask you, readers — does this look like someone who could abuse women? Yeah, sort of, I guess.
With six minutes left in the third quarter of yesterday’s improbable 13-10 UMich victory over Ohio State, the Buckeyes completed a pass for six yards and a first down. How stifling was Michigan’s defense (on the road and against the #2 ranked team in the nation)? OSU did not get another first down for the remainder of the game. Yeah — you heard me — the last 21 minutes of play — zippo. Among others, Mason Graham had a really good game. Look at that punim! Go Blue!
Yesterday was the birthday of Mark Twain (1835). He said: “A successful book is not made of what is in it, but of what is left out of it.” I thought of that when I read this Tiny Love Story in today’s NYT by Mina Bressler.
My brother and I are sitting on beige pleather chairs in a beige waiting room. Actually, we are not sitting but pacing. Our mother is very sick. The hospital has rooms where people can cry or rage (at God, the doctors), but where we go to giggle. It bubbled up in me first, prompted by the hospital’s Thanksgiving turkey carving contest. “I bet the surgeons are really good at that,” I say. “Is it a contest for surgeons?” he asks. We start writing down everything we find funny on a notepad. Then we come to this room to laugh.
The puzzle was by John Lieb today, a high school math teacher who lives in Boston and whose daughter makes good cookies. It’s a great puzzle. I met John briefly when I entered the XW tournament he conducts annually in the Boston area a few summers ago (my first!). The snack set-up included cookies his daughter baked but he urged us to take only one each, since the supply was limited. Fair enough.
The puzzle featured an ice-skating rink in the center, brilliantly filled in with the answer ICE five times with five different clues, and with the downs clued phonetically, i.e., IIIII was the answer for “Positive votes” (ayes); CCCCC was the answer for “______ the day!” (seize); and EEEEE was the answer for “Comfort” (ease). A ZAMBONI (machine that resurfaces rinks) was sitting in the grid right outside the rink. If you completed the puzzle online, as I did, a little animation feature showed the zamboni entering the rink and resurfacing it. Very cute!
There was also a bunch of theme answers relating to ice rinks, one of which was SMOOTH OPERATOR, the Sade hit from 1984. I had heard the song of course, even under my rock I couldn’t miss it, but I knew nothing about Sade, not even that she is a woman. Her real name is Helen Folasade Adu and she is British, born in Nigeria on, get this — my birthday! She’s nine years younger than me (still pretty old: 65). She has a son, Izaac Theo Adu, and a stepson. Izaac is transgender and just this fall Sade and the Red Hot Organization’s TRANSA project released “Young Lion,” a song dedicated to him.
Another theme answer was FROZEN ASSETS. Egs wrote: What do you call extraterrestrials who sit for too long on an ice rink? FROZEN ASS ETS. He also noted: It’s about time we had a good puzzle based on ice resurfacing!
Did somebody say “Zamboni?” L. Desind shared this story, below, on Rex’s blog. I think it’s worthy of the Dull Men’s Club (UK), no?
In 1993, the “Random House Unabridged Dictionary, Second Edition, Newly Revised and Updated” was published. My wife gave me one about 30 years ago. I then first opened it to check the spelling of “zamboni.” It was not there.
So, I wrote to the editor and explained that there was no entry for the first word I had looked up in my new 2,500 page Random House Unabridged Dictionary, which was a gift from my wife. I received a reply to the effect that if one looks a gift horse in the mouth there are bound to be a few cavities, which I suppose was clever, but not very responsive.
I wrote back, asking what was the reason for the lapse, pointing out that if it was because Zamboni was a brand name, there were plenty of brand names in the dictionary. He wrote back acknowledging that it was an oversight and that the word “Zamboni” would be appearing in various editions of the Random House dictionary family going forward.
However, I was not finished. It occurred to me that if “Zamboni” was a brand name, then there must be a generic term for a “Zamboni.” I learned that this term was an “ice resurfacer.” I again opened my new, 2,500 page unabridged dictionary and searched for “ice resurfacer.” It was not there.
For the third time, I wrote to this editor at Random House. I guess was a bit impertinent, but it annoyed me that there was this “thing” deployed in skating rinks and arenas all over the world and there was no reference to it in this enormous dictionary I owned. So I scolded him on the apparent failure of his dictionary to fulfill one of its chief functions–a “taxonomy of things.” [OC note: I had to look up “taxonomy” and don’t really understand the definition. Something to do with classification.]
He replied that if there was any evidence that “ice resurfacer” was in general use, then it could be an entry. I found dozens in minutes and sent some to him.
Soon thereafter, he advised that “ice resurfacer” and related terms that I had also pointed out were missing would be included in future editions of various Random House dictionaries. In fact, a few years later, my children bought me a paperback edition and circled “Zamboni” with an arrow pointing to the notation “look what you did.”
There’s more. A couple of years later, I was listening to a local radio station. A commercial came on for some Ford truck. The point of this commercial was that the truck was powerful and reliable, just like the ice resurfacing machines manufactured for years by the Zamboni family. It was truly an odd commercial, but, I realized what was going on.
The appearance of “Zamboni” in the dictionary likely freaked out their attorneys worried about the company losing its trademark to generic usage. So, they convinced Ford to help them out and produced a commercial that had, as its chief purpose, the broadcasting of a rather unsubtle notice to the world that “Zamboni” is not just a word, it is a brand.
BETTY RIZZO was in the puzzle. She’s a character from Grease (leader of the Pink Ladies). Vanessa Hudgens played her in the show.
At 75A, “Diving bird” was LOON. Here’s OC fave John Prine on the topic.
Our hapless Jets fell to 3-9 today, in typical fashion snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. This time they used timely penalties to hand the game over to Seattle. It’s okay. I’m still basking in Michigan’s historic upset win from yesterday. So we’re not going to let his get us down — are we, girls?
See you tomorrow, Chatterheads!
The Wellington Files 