Forgot to share my favorite clue from yesterday’s puzzle. It was at 44D: “Way of getting online that might sound like ‘beep beep beeHAW beeHAW beeeeeep SHRHRHRHRH’” Get it? Answer was DIAL UP.

The theme yesterday was EMPTY CALORIES, but not necessarily junk food. It was phonetic: “Empty” sounds like MT, so the theme answers were all two-word “M-T” foods like MINI TWIX, MOOSE TRACKS (the ice cream flavor); and MAPO TOFU (Yum!).

The last one was clued with: “Fictional burrito on ‘Parks and Recreation’ that ‘literally killed a guy last year.’” I didn’t see it, but the answer was MEAT TORNADO.

Rex hadn’t heard of Mini Twix. Regular Twix are so small I don’t see the point of minimizing them, but they do exist. It’s like travel-size floss. Is the regular size too cumbersome to pack?

Yesterday’s puzzle also had “Attorney General before Garland,” who was, of course, BARR. Yeccchh. Fittingly, he sat in the grid near EGO and ASS.

Here’s Randy Rainbow with a song from the good old days.

This song on the MT theme is by a Canadian singer Kathleen Edwards.

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Okay, fasten your seat belts Chatterheads, I am about to blow your minds, except for maybe our art department (Hi Bob!) and a few others: At 26A yesterday the clue was “What the ‘Mona Lisa’ is painted on.” The answer was WOOD. It’s on wood? The Mona f*cking Lisa is on wood? How could I not know that? Solace: Rex didn’t either. It’s on a poplar wood panel. Sheesh.

Maybe if I spent less time searching the Web for Jets cheerleaders and more time on loftier pursuits, stuff like this wouldn’t happen. (Don’t worry, just kidding.)

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So this old Jewish guy goes to the doctor. The doc says “Abe, you’re going to have to stop masturbating.” Abe says, “Why?,” and the doc says “So I can examine you.”

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In today’s puzzle, the clue at 16A was “Dance with hand gestures that can represent ocean waves.” Pretty easy, right? — HULA.

She’s gone with the hula hula boys
And she don’t care about me
She’s gone with the hula hula boys
And she don’t care about me they’re singing

Ha’ina ‘ia mai ana ka puana
Ha’ina ‘ia mai ana ka puana
Ha’ina ‘ia mai ana ka puana
Ha’ina ‘ia mai ana ka puana

I didn’t have to come to Maui
To be treated like a jerk
How do you think I feel
When I see the bellboys smirk?

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At 11D the clue was “What self-driving cars and spell check are meant to compensate for,” and the answer was HUMAN ERROR. Eli, Rex’s guest blogger today wrote: “At the risk of sounding like a grumpy old man, self-driving cars and AI are still human creations and therefore inherently error-prone. I love technology, but leaning into laziness and stupidity will doom us all.” Then he posted this to illustrate “grumpy old man.”

Okanaganer wrote: My great nephew’s fiance’s parents (whew) visited our cabin in September, arriving in a self-driving Tesla. He insists he did not even have to touch the steering wheel in the 2.5 hour drive, even going through multiple construction zones with single lanes marked off by traffic cones. I had thought the self driving idea was a fantasy.

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It’s hard to imagine any of you Owl Chatter babes out there not running right out to pick up UConn star Paige “Buckets” Bueckers’ newly released player-exclusive Nike sneaks. A year ago, Paige joined an exclusive roster of college athletes to sign a NIL (“name, image, likeness”) partnership with Nike. And now she has become the first college athlete to design and launch her own player-exclusive colorway. 

It retails for $190 at select shops, but under a special arrangement our George negotiated with Nike, if you mention “Owl Chatter” at the time of purchase the price will be adjusted to $225.

Wait, what?

The numbers on the sneaker represent the area codes for UConn and her hometown in Minny. And the colors are her favorite colors (vu den?). Needless to say, they look pretty hot on her, but what wouldn’t? (Phil! Where did you drag her for that shot? Some sort of basement? Don’t try anything stupid — she’ll break your ass in half. Seriously.)

Ha’ina ‘ia mai ana ka puana — and so the story is told.

Thanks for dropping in! See you tomorrow.

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