I’m so bored. This was a big mistake.

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My favorite clue/answer in the puzzle today was at 38D. The clue was “Leave la-la land,” and the answer was SNAP TO.

At 1D, “A little bit of everything,” was an odd clue for SESAME. But it won me over when I realized it was referring to an everything bagel. There it is! You can see the sesame on it, right?

Georgie! Here’s a ten — run out and get some cream cheese. Hurry.

Remember Linda ELLERBEE? She was “Award-winning journalist Linda” at 10D. She retired in 2015 and is 80 now, kinahora. Originally from Texas, she went to Vandy, but dropped out to start living her life as a journalist. Ever step in it, but it works out? She was writing for the Associated Press in Dallas and was fired after writing a catty personal letter on the AP’s word processor and accidentally sending it out on the wire. But it caught the attention of some folks at CBS and within months she was in NY working for them. Go figure.

She has two kids, Vanessa and Josh. Vanessa is a writer and Josh a film producer. They both look scary smart.

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One of the little thrills in my life (not to imply there are big ones: I’ll be 75 next month), is posting something funny on Rex Parker’s blog and getting a nice response, like an LOL. Imagine my horror, therefore, when a small joke I shared got me dubbed “The Butcher of Maple Street.” Here’s the story.

A while ago, MOTH appeared as an answer in the puzzle and it reminded me of a joke. This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, you have to help me. I have an obsessive fear that I’m turning into a moth.” The doctor says, “A moth?” and the guy says “Yeah, a moth.” And the doctor says, “Well, first of all, why did you come to see me, out of all the doctors in town?” And the guy says “Your light was on.”

So I post the joke and within an hour get the following response: “Oh, man, you butchered that joke. Do yourself a favor and watch Norm Macdonald tell it.” So I did.

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This poem from today’s Writer’s Almanac is by Stephen Dunn. It’s called “Seriousness.” (This is how it appears, in block form.)

Driving the Garden State Parkway to New York, I pointed out two crows
to a woman who believed crows always travel in threes. And later just
one crow eating the carcass of a squirrel. “The others are nearby,” she
said, “hidden in trees.” She was sure. Now and then she’d say “See!” and
a clear dark trinity of crows would be standing on the grass. I told her
she was wrong to under- or overestimate crows, and wondered out loud
if three crows together made any evolutionary sense. I was almost get-
ting serious now. Near Forked River, we saw five. “There’s three,” she
said, “and two others with a friend in a tree.” I looked to see if she was
smiling. She wasn’t. Or she was. “Men like you,” she said, “need it writ-
ten down, notarized, and signed.”

There does seem to be a connection between crows and three. A Scottish children’s song includes the lyric “Three cross three crows and they’re sitting on a wall.” A brewery in Sacramento produces a black lager called Three Crows, and there’s a science fiction magazine called Three Crows.

And get this: Morrígan is a Celtic goddess who can transform into a crow or raven. In some traditions, she’s considered a triple goddess, representing three aspects of the same deity: Badb, Macha, and Nemain. 

Creepy enough for you? Gotta love the smoky eyes.

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Clive Sutton, of the Dull Men’s Club (UK), posted this note which generated, by far, the most comments I’ve seen (173). I guess it hit a nerve.

Our teenage Granddaughter emailed us (out of the blue), with an ebay link to the present she would like for Christmas. No contact for months despite our efforts to stay in touch etc.

I have been considering reciprocating – perhaps with a link to an ebay sale of a vintage Bentley, but unsure if the subtlety of the message in that response would be missed.

Interested to know what some alternative responses from this brain trust might be?

A lot of comments were at the extremes of the options — i.e., tell her to f*ck off, or just it buy it for her — she’s your g’daughter.

Mark Evans wrote this: Electronic communication can and often does get misinterpreted. I’d buy the present but get it delivered to your address. Tell her she can pick it up whenever she wants. Then over a cup of tea (other hot beverages are available) have an honest conversation about contact.

Melanie Wright wrote: Difficult one. If she has reached out to you in any way at all, then I suppose it’s progress and you don’t want to spoil that. She’s still your granddaughter at the end of the day. I’d kinda call her out on it, but make it “half joking, full earnest” and let her know you’re delighted she got in touch.

Dian Sellers: Life is really hard these days for teenage girls. Imagine being that age in a world with the internet. We had it so lucky. Be loving and kind, she won’t be a teenager forever. She’ll work through it all and come out the other side. Buy the gift (if you can afford it).

This is my Lianna (15) with her boyfriend Diegan. I’d buy her the world if I could. Make a list, Babe.

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As I mentioned earlier, Rex is an animal lover and has started posting holiday pet pix that his readers send in to him, maybe 5 or so a day. I will shamelessly steal one now and then. Here’s Edward, with Rex’s funny write-up:

“This is Edward, because if ever a dog was an “Edward,” it’s this sweet proper gruff-faced baby. He’s a CAIRN Terrier mix (a proper crossword breed). I want to scritch him and give him treats. I want him for my very own. I have dognapping tendencies (i.e. I enjoy napping with dogs).”

And this exquisite cat is named Oxy.

Let’s go out tonight with this song by Mary Gauthier called “Christmas in Paradise.” If you’re tired of the same old Xmas songs — or even if you’re not — try this one on.

Thanks for popping by. See you tomorrow!