Where are you on Musk’s Nazi salute? You giving him the benefit of the doubt? Of course, the Musk-ovites are dismissing it as nonsense and they are defending him by noting that Taylor Swift routinely dons a Hitler moustache and parades around in a swastika suit. No one gives her any shit over it. Good point. Here’s EM’s salute. You decide.

Did you know Musk has twelve children? Six are from his first wife Justine Wilson, who referred to herself as “his starter wife.” Sadly, the first was a son named Nevada who passed away from SIDS when only ten weeks old. Musk was holding him in his arms when he died. Wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

El and Justine used IVF to have more kids and the next two were twin boys Griffin and Xavier, who are 20 now. But, get this, Xavier changed her gender and her name to Vivian. She is not on good terms with her dad, who blames the neo-Marxists in her college for poisoning her mind against rich people. He notes he’s on good terms with his other kids and says: “You can’t win ’em all.” (Not kidding.)

The next three are triplet boys: Kai, Saxon, and Damian. They are 18. Here’s Justine.

Three of his kids come from the singer Grimes, whose real name is Claire Elise Boucher. They are son X Æ A-Xii, daughter Exa Dark Sideræl, via surrogate, and Techno Mechanicus, a son(?). Here’s Grimes:

Three more kids are from Shivon Zilis. They are twins Azure and Strider, and a new one born early last year, name and sex not available.

Shivon was born in Canada to an Indian mom and Canadian dad. She went to Yale and is a very successful tech exec and venture capitalist. Our sports consultant, Sarah, tells us Shivon played on Yale’s women’s ice hockey team as a goaltender, and is the school’s all-time leader in goals-against average. Wow. Shivon and Musk made a rare public appearance together at a pre-inaug event last Sunday. Here she is with one of their very cute kids:

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Say you were a ballplayer and you have a chance to get into the Hall of Fame, but it’s super close and now it’s your last time on the ballot and you get the call and you’re in. How do you play it? Cool? A sincere thanks? Or are you a blubbering bowl of Jell-o that can barely talk.

Billy Wagner was a great relief pitcher. His vote has been growing each of the nine years he was on the ballot. He was so close last year, a camera crew was sent out to be with him for the announcement. When he fell short it was a little embarrassing, to say the least. This year was his last shot to get voted in: you need to get on 75% of the ballots and you only have ten tries. He made it! I’m glad. From the few times I’ve seen him interviewed, it seems like he’s a mensch. Here’s how he took the news (ignore the background sound about Ichiro from the TV that was on):

Among pitchers with at least 900 innings, Wagner ranks first all time in opponents’ batting average (.187), strikeouts per nine innings (11.92) and hits per nine innings (5.99). He’s the ninth reliever elected to the HOF, joining Mariano Rivera, Dennis Eckersley, Hoyt Wilhelm, Goose Gossage, Trevor Hoffman, Lee Smith, Rollie Fingers and Bruce Sutter.

Wagner was born a righty but broke his arm twice when he was seven, so he learned to throw left-handed. He’s the only lefty reliever in the Hall. He was brilliant all the way up to retirement, making the all-star team in his last year with the Braves, with 37 saves, a 1.43 ERA and 104 Ks in 69 1/3 innings. In the final regular-season inning of his career, Wagner struck out all three of the batters he faced, all on called strikes. Mazel Tov on the Hall, Billy.

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Jake Neighbours’ best friend is Ozzy Weisblatt. When Jake turned 16 and could drive, he’d pick Ozzy up in his 2010 Chevy Malibu, and they’d go together to practices or games for their club hockey team in Calgary. Jake would park and go into Ozzy’s home to pick him up, and that’s when he learned about the family. Ozzy’s mom is deaf and the six of them: the mom and five kids communicate via sign language. In short order, the two families grew close and became one big family.

Early on, Jake asked Ozzy to teach him how to say something he wanted to tell Ozzy’s mom, so Ozzy did. Only what he taught him to say instead is not printable and was very embarrassing. Jake realized he’d have to learn the language himself. It did not come easily, but he can communicate directly with Ozzy’s mom now.

Fast forward six years. Jake and Ozzy were both drafted by pro teams. How great is that! And get this — when the San Jose Sharks picked Ozzy, their exec, Doug Wilson, Jr., announced it using sign language. Jake was called up to join the St. Louis Blues and proposed a special project for the team. They worked with a cap designer and producer and turned out caps with “Blues” written out in sign language. They are selling well and a portion of the profits go to an organization that helps the deaf community. Bravo gentlemen. And that 2010 Malibu is still on the road. It’s Ozzy’s now, still putting on miles.

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Chris Corlett posted this for the Dull Men’s Club (UK).

It hit a bit of a nerve — 79 comments — but nothing too intense. I enjoyed Christina Traynor’s earnest reply.

You either enjoy eating porridge or not. Those of us who grew up having it for breakfast, whether adorned or plain in times of want, who relied on a good hot bowl of porridge to get us through the morning at school until dinner break, or tide us through roaming and adventures until we headed home for tea, we appreciated porridge then and a lot of us still do. I clean off the wooden spoon once the porridge is cooked, but I do soak the pot and bowl in cold water which will help remove any remnants.

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See you next time!