“Is that the worst you’ve ever been booed?”
“I think so. They were really loud.”
Juan Soto, who won a World Series with the Gnats way way way back in 2019, and who jilted the Yanks and grabbed $765 million from the rival Mets, heard it from jovially angry Yankee fans last night in his first return to the Bronx. It seemed to be all in good fun, as far as I could tell. The baseball gods participated by making sure enough Mets got hits or walked so JS came up in the ninth with two men on base and two out. The Mets were down 6-2, so a Soto hit could have generated some serious nail-biting. The Yanks were concerned enough to yank their pitcher. But Soto flew out to end the drama.
Did someone mention the Gnats? Their win last night over the hapless Orioles was unusual. Unusual in that they won at all, of course, but also because they were outhit by the birds by a whopping 14 to 5. Ouch. Yet they outscored Baltimore 4 to 3. Gnat starter MacKenzie Gore only lasted 3.2 innings. He struck out nine of the eleven outs he got, but gave up ten hits. Just two runs though.
It was 3-3 entering the ninth. Tena was on second, but there were two outs. Nasim Nunez was up: one of those little fast guys that can drive you crazy. He hit a grounder to first and the pitcher ran over to cover. No problems, smooth, for the third out, right? No! Nunez was a blur down the line and beat the throw. No way! Yes, way. And Tena never stopped running when he hit third — the Baltimore pitcher was slow reacting to the safe call at first and his throw home had no chance. So it was 4-3 Gnats! In the bottom of the ninth, Finnegan, as usual, put the leadoff batter on. But he was nailed trying to steal by a perfect throw (Ruiz) and tag (Abrams), and the Gnats held on for the win. Sweet.
It was quite a sports night in NY, with the Knicks dispatching the stunned Celtics in a romp. The Indy Pacers come next. And the sexy Ottawa Charge of the Pro Women’s Hockey League completed their upset of the first-seeded Montreal ladies in a thrilling 2-1 game. We were sitting for our g’kids so only got back in time to watch the last few minutes of the game, but, man, it was tense.
Amazingly, for the second straight game, the skater we featured in Owl Chatter scored a key goal: Emily Clark. Way to go, Em! We’ll continue to root for Ottawa in the finals against Minny.
And let’s give a special shout-out to brilliant Ottawa goalie Gwyneth Philips, whose three playoff wins included a spectacular 1-0 shutout. Again, let me issue my usual warning about these hockey women: Don’t let the pretty face fool you — she’ll rip your head off with her bare hands and fling it into the corner of the rink without hesitating if the situation calls for it.
This poem is by Ellen Bass and is called “Deceiving the Gods.” It’s from today’s Writer’s Almanac. It includes a rare kinahora sighting, the first I recall seeing in the wild.
The old Jews rarely admitted good fortune.
And if they did, they’d quickly add kinahora—
let the evil eye not hear. What dummkopf
would think the spirits were on our side?
But even in a tropical paradise
laden with sugarcane and coconut,
something like the shtetl’s wariness exists.
In Hawaii, I’m told, a fisherman
never spoke directly, lest the gods
arrive at the sea before him.
Instead he’d look to the sky,
the fast-moving clouds, and say,
I wonder if leaves are falling in the uplands!
Let us go and gather leaves.
So, my love, today let’s not talk at all.
Let’s be like those couples
eating silently in restaurants,
barely a word the entire meal.
We pitied them, but now I see
they were always so much smarter than we were.
One of the most popular composers in Crossworld is Erik Satie. All those vowels in Satie are hard for constructors to resist. So I am quite familiar with the name but had no idea how funny he was. He was born on this date in 1866 in a seaport town in northern France.
I am stealing the writeup on him from The Writer’s Almanac because it’s very fresh and funny and because I can.
Satie is known for his simple piano pieces with exotic titles like “Veritable Flabby Preludes (for a Dog).” When he was accused of writing music without form, he composed a series of piano duets called “Three Pear-shaped Pieces.” Many of his scores gave unusual instructions to the performers, like “Light as an egg,” “With astonishment,” or “Work it out yourself.” He invented what he called “furniture music,” which was meant to be listened to in the background. He was a friend of Picasso and collaborated with him to create the ballet “Parade,” which included typewriters, pistols, factory sirens, and airplane engines in its orchestra. He said, “Before writing a work, I walk around it several times accompanied by myself.”
Known as “the velvet gentleman,” he owned 12 identical velvet costumes, 84 identical handkerchiefs, and nearly 100 umbrellas. He walked several miles to a cabaret in Paris every evening, where he played all night before walking back with a hammer in his pocket for protection. He said: “My only nourishment consists of food that is white: eggs, sugar, shredded bones, the fat of dead animals, veal, salt, coconuts, chicken cooked in white water, moldy fruit, rice, turnips, sausages in camphor, pastry, cheese (white varieties), cotton salad, and certain kinds of fish (without their skin). I boil my wine and drink it cold mixed with the juice of the Fuchsia. I have a good appetite, but never talk when eating for fear of strangling myself.”
According to a story in People Magazine (so you know that it’s true), a man named Tim Petit was disappointed in the pink “limited edition” Donald Trump wristwatch he bought for $640 for his wife Melanie. (“Limited edition” means production is limited to as many as they can sell, per Jerry Seinfeld.)
When the watch arrived, the word “Trump” on its face was missing its important “T,” leaving it emblazoned with the word “Rump.” When Melanie saw it, she cried.
Rump! You can’t make this stuff up.
“I’m very disappointed. I wanted to do a special thing for her,” Petit said. “And we expected that it would have the integrity of the president of the United States and good follow-through.” [Note to Tim: It did have the President’s integrity — that’s the problem.]
According to People, “Ironically, in a video ad for the watches, Trump specifically touts the quality of the timepieces. ‘We’re doing quite a number with watches,’ the president says in the ad. ‘And the quality, to me, is very important.’”
When Tim complained to the company, he received no response. Only when he reached out to a local TV station to intervene did they offer to replace the watch.
If, like me, you’d like to get to know these good folks a little, take a look at this short video.
From the ridiculous to the sublime. With the womens’ ice hockey playoffs nearing the final stage, we are thrilled to note the WNBA is swinging into action this weekend! So many beautiful and incredibly talented women across the land. You know these two:
Caitlin is in her second season with the Indiana Fever (Iowa was college), and UCONN’S Paige is a rookie with the Dallas Hot Wings. Actually, it’s just the Dallas Wings, but with PB on the roster, . . .
If you are wondering whether women’s basketball has really caught on, or it’s all just PR fluff, I looked into tickets to see Caitlin or Paige when they come to NY (Brooklyn, actually), and the cheapest seats go for $150, or $105, respectively. Ouch. Sorry ladies. TFC (too cheap). Maybe we’ll have an Owl Chatter night at a Liberty game that is less in demand — that should run about $30 a ticket. They play in Brooklyn, in the Barclay Center, a beautiful arena where the NBA’s Nets play. Maybe we can catch the Vegas Aces. We’d see league MVP A’ja Riyadh Wilson then.
Wilson was named for her father’s favorite song, “Aja” by Steely Dan. Her middle name Riyadh came from the Saudi Arabian capital, where her maternal aunt was deployed in Operation Desert Storm. Good thing she wasn’t deployed to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch in Wales. Just sayin’.
There are 13 teams in the WNBA, but none in Boston. What gives? Closest is Connecticut (Sun). They play in Uncasville, CT. Been there? It’s in the bottom right part of the state, near Rhode Island.
According to historian Heather Cox Richardson, at a concert in Manchester, England this week, Bruce Springsteen said: “In America, the richest men are abandoning our great allies and siding with dictators against those struggling for their freedom. They’re defunding American universities that won’t bow down to their ideological demands. They’re removing residents off American streets and, without due process of law, are deporting them to foreign detention centers and prisons. This is all happening now.” He criticized lawmakers who have “no idea of what it means to be deeply American.”
And yet, he said: “The America that I’ve sung to you about for 50 years is real and, regardless of its faults, is a great country with a great people, so will survive this moment.”
Hope so Boss.
Let’s finish up today with this tune by Mike Nesmith that was new to me. It’s called “Rio” and it was shared by Rex since there was a BANANA BOAT in the puzzle today. See you next time, Chatterheads!!
The Wellington Files 