You talkin’ to me?
Don’t kiss that woman!! First of all, she’s an Olympic fencer and you can barely handle a fork. Plus, who knows what’s been on those lips?
She’s Ysaora Thibus, a woman who does not need to buy any vowels. She’s French and was suspended from fencing in February 2024, after a doping test showed the presence of ostarine, a prohibited substance which can promote muscle and bone growth, although why anyone would want to grow more bones is beyond me.
Anyway, the good news is she was cleared on appeal when her fantastic defense held water, so to speak. Ysaora claimed her partner had been taking ostarine without her (Ysaora’s) knowledge, and it was passed to her via saliva over a nine-day period of serious kissing.
Let’s all pause for a moment to recount those days of our youth.
Okay, let’s continue. The appeals panel said it is “scientifically established” that the dosage ingested by Thibus’ then-partner “would have left sufficient amounts of ostarine in saliva to contaminate a person through kissing.”
Gotta hand it to the French. Back in 2009 a French tennis player beat a charge for cocaine use with the same kissing defense. It was Richard Gasquet, but his contamination took much less than nine days, regrettably. He just kissed a woman in a Miami club, for we don’t know how long.
Here’s a shot Phil got for us of Gasquet, the now-tight-lipped tennis star.
Headline in The Onion:
ICE Has Gall To Leave Raided Restaurant Negative Review.
To defend themselves against charges that they were complicit in the deaths of over 100 children from the flooding in Texas when the Guadalupe River overflowed its banks this week, officials should show exactly how much money was saved per dead child, it seems to me. Texans are reasonable folks and once they can put an actual dollar figure on the savings for each dead ten-year-old everything should be okay.
Officials were well aware of the danger. The area was called “Flash Flood Alley,” for f*ck’s sake. Yet the only warning “system” in place was an informal one of people upriver texting people downriver. On numerous occasions, modern but basic communication devices such as monitors and sirens were voted down as too costly. One Commissioner, H. A. “Buster” Baldwin, voted against a $50,000 engineering study saying: “I think this whole thing is a little extravagant for Kerr County, with sirens and such.” So, right there, on that part of it alone, Baldwin should take credit for personally saving the county $500 per dead child.
Right-wing monster Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick acknowledged that flood-warning sirens “might have” saved lives. He said they needed to be in place by next summer. What’s the hurry — they on sale?
Some states are considering changing their mottoes or marketing in light of the situation. Virginia, for example, may change from “Virginia is for Lovers” to “We Don’t Drown Our Children.”
Sue Smith, of the Dull Men’s Club (UK) posted: I still get a quarterly paper bill for my gas. Today’s came with an unwanted bonus, a dead fly! That got me wondering, as many companies do it all electronically, how often do squashed unwanted insects end up being mailed to customers?
John Waldron: They’ll probably claim it was alive when they sent it out.
Keith Johnston: Airmail.
Roy Booth: Fly posting.
[FYI: Flyposting (also known as bill posting) is a guerrilla marketing tactic where advertising posters (also known as flyers) are put up. In the U.S., these posters are also referred to as wheatpaste posters because wheatpaste is often used to adhere the posters. Posters are adhered to construction site barricades, building façades and in alleyways.]
We wish the Gnats well as they start a new era under new leadership. Thanks Davey and Mike: for 2019 and all the good times.
See you tomorrow. Thanks for dropping by.
The Wellington Files 