Welcome to Owl Chatter Post #834. SRSLY. How did that happen? I can remember maybe two of them, and only because of Ana de Armas.
Ana, BTW, seems to be hooking up with Tom Cruise. Yes, that Tom Cruise. He’s 63. Look, whatever makes her happy, we’re for it. Very much hoping she is done with that Cuban monster type of guy who was very handsome, we’ll give him that. . . .
Hey, Babe! We were just talking about you!! Didn’t know you were in Jersey. Sit — take a load off. We’re out of Fresca, though — don’t ask.
Hey — don’t look at us in that tone of voice!
I have twice gone through New Yorker issues here aghast at how unfunny every single one of the cartoons in them was. However, the recent double issue (July 7/14) makes those two issues seem uproarious. The first semester I taught my tax class at Hunter I had one student who I can’t say fell off the truck, because he never got on. He got a 3 on the first exam (out of 100), just by blind luck — the broken clock correct twice a day. His answers were so far afield from the topic, I told him: “You’d have to improve a lot, just to get the questions wrong.” Anyway, I thought of him as I was looking at these cartoons. The earlier bad cartoons were failed efforts at humor. These struck me as not even related to the concept of humor. I am beginning to worry that the New Yorker cartoon people no longer know that a thing such as funny exists. They are just flailing about blindly.
I’ll just give you one example. It’s on page 30. A woman is sitting at a table and there is a bowl in front of her. Above her is a box stating: What your girlfriend is really up to when you’re out of town. Then, it separately states that the bowl contains “A meal with no protein.” So your girlfriend apparently becomes a different person when you are away, and that expresses itself by her avoiding protein at meals. How many transfers do you have to take to travel from there to funny?
OK. You didn’t really believe me when I said I’d just give you one example, did you? On p. 53, a man is picking out a dog to adopt as a pet. He says to the woman: “I’m looking for one that responds to logic.” A real thigh-slapper, I know, but do you see what I mean about not even being in the ballpark?
I’ll stop now, and share something that is funny.
In the puzzle today, at 39A the clue was “Cuts of fish” and the answer was FILLETS. Yes, with two Ls. Here’s Rex on it: You mean McDonald’s has been lying to me about the spelling all these years!? What else aren’t they telling me? Is Mayor McCheese even a real mayor?
So, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, compare “Is Mayor McCheese even a real mayor?” (hysterical, IMO), with “I’m looking for one that responds to logic.” Case closed.
The puzzle contained a really strange dude: Rapper Lil Uzi VERT. Never heard of him, of course. He’s from Philly and his real name is Symere Bysil Woods. Get this — from his Wikipedia page:
In February 2021, Woods revealed that he had a 10-carat pink diamond implanted in his forehead. It was valued at $24 million. Woods said he “could die” if the diamond were not removed “the right way.” He had it removed (apparently properly) the following June but had it reimplanted for a performance in July and later revealed that fans ripped it out while he was crowd surfing. He didn’t suffer serious damage (or die) and still has the diamond, albeit not in his forehead. It’s been replaced by a barbell piercing.
And then there was the girl who had diamonds on the soles of her shoes.
Special congratulations to Owl Chatter’s brilliant and beautiful sports consultant PWHL Rookie of the Year Sarah Fillier. Sarah just signed a two-year extension making her the highest paid player in the league. Brava SF!
Our Sarah is far too modest to toot her own horn, but here’s what the NYT had to say: Fillier was the No. 1 pick in the 2024 PWHL Draft and has been widely viewed as a generational talent, with three world championships and an Olympic gold medal. She’s a highly intelligent center with high-end offensive tools and versatility to play the wing. No player had more points than Fillier during her rookie season; she finished tied for the league lead with 29 points in 30 games.
Keep your drool cups ready, fellas. The season starts in November. Drop the puck, Ref!
See you tomorrow Chatterheads. Thanks for popping by.
The Wellington Files 