We headed up to Chappaqua Saturday for a cousins reunion (Linda’s family) at Cousin Brad’s house (Brad and Yvette). We were there years ago for the reception for the bar mitzvot of their twin boys (Yvette’s the yid). They have a pool and we received a text a few days ago to bring pool toys if we can. Thursday we received the following text and I really feel it crossed the line:
“Hey, everybody — please bring lots of beach towels and beach blankets on Saturday!!”
For f*ck’s sake!!
This was my reply:
We only have one towel and we don’t like it to leave the house. Why wasn’t this mentioned in the invitation? You already asked for pool toys (which we don’t like to share). It’s not fair to bring this towel and blanket thing up less than 48 hours before the event.
And get off my lawn!
Avi and Linda
I love how The Onion takes a measured and reasonable approach to political situations. Here’s a recent story:
AG Bondi Informed Trump His Name Tattooed All Over Epstein’s Body
From the story: “Trump’s name appeared inside of hearts and surrounded by daisies and roses multiple times. Epstein had tattoos of other names as well. There was a majestic merman on his inner thigh that looked a lot like Alan Dershowitz.”
This cartoon by Jack Ziegler is from July 22, 1985. It’s so good, and speaks so directly to me, that I remember it clearly after 40 years.
John Scotland, of the Dull Men’s Club (UK) shared this heartwarming story with the club.
Earlier on today, the power went off for a couple of hours. This was only a very minor inconvenience, until it came to the dull necessity of resetting the clock on the oven, without which the oven will not function. Barbara had already had a long and tiring day, and was in no mood to mess about when she tried to do the reset, following the instructions, and getting no result…
She accepted my offer to have a go, I checked the instructions (press two buttons at the same time ) and got the same negative result. There was a middle button which had some kind of padlock symbol, I pressed it, more in curiosity than hope, and lo! The display unfroze, after which Barbara was able to set the time without any further difficulty. The value of teamwork, and the knowledge that the instructions aren’t always as helpful as they could be. Hope everyone has a relaxing evening.
Jeff Mang: Not all supermen wear capes.
Greg Smith: How can I relax? We don’t know the make of the oven, colour, etc.
Avi Liveson: Deep breaths.
Do you enjoy mysteries, as in mystery books? I love ’em. You’ve probably heard them referred to as “whodunits.” Well I learned today that there is also a type of mystery called the “howcatchems.” It was in the clue today for COLUMBO, the great Peter Falk detective. In a whodunit you need to figure out who committed the crime. In a howcatchem you already know who did it, and you have to figure out how to catch him (or her). There is also a “whydunit,” where you need to figure out the motive.
I took three mystery books out from our library a while ago and when I handed them to the librarian to check them out, she looked at one of them oddly. She said, “the system shows this is already out.” I said “it was on the shelves just like the others.” She said, “I don’t understand how that happened,” and I looked right at her and said, “It’s a mystery.”
Hey, don’t look at me in that tone of voice, Library Lady!
Nick Scotty of the Dull Men’s Club (UK) posted: “This is why I have stopped going, drunken loutish behaviour and, as for the profanity, don’t get me started.”
Of course, Nick was referring to the Royal Horticultural Society Flower Show at Wentworth Woodhouse, a stately home near Rotherham. As reported by the BBC, fights broke out over transport to the show.
Edana Guest, from Penistone, said the RHS had advertised coaches as arriving every 15 to 20 minutes, but it was “definitely not happening.” “The last one was half an hour ago, it’s only one bus, and they’re full when they get here.”
Susanne Clegg said she had left her house in Sheffield at 9:30, but was still waiting at the coach stop at midday. She described how two different queues had formed at her stop, and “it all kicked off” between them when only one bus arrived. “I’ve never seen coach rage before today,” she said.
You can see the anger beginning to simmer in this photo taken shortly before all hell broke loose, to put it mildly.
Some folks still managed to have a good time once they finally got there. This beautiful woman accentuated her good looks with the perfect hat.
Some DMC(UK) member comments:
Kevin Wells: Turf wars.
Stuart George: They need to nip this sort of behaviour in the bud.
Avi Liveson: Not surprised. Looks like a tough bunch. Thorny problem.
Report in The Onion:
Novelty Pencil Worn Down To The Nub
I learned the word “sploot” from a puzzle recently but forgot it. I learned it again from yesterday’s puzzle and am goddamn determined to remember it this time. It’s a great word. It’s when a dog, cat, or other animal stretches out on his belly with legs behind him. It’s a way to cool down. Thus the clue was “When squirrels may thermoregulate by splooting.” Answer: HEATWAVE.
If you say “to luxuriantly sploot,” you are splooting an infinitive. This cat is named Pierogi.
Here are some other common uses of sploot.
“It’s getting late — gotta sploot!”
“Got an Advil? — I have a splooting headache.”
“The bowling match came down to a 7-10 sploot and I couldn’t make it.”
“The partners agreed to a 50-50 sploot.”
In baseball news, apparently it wasn’t enough for the Mets to have “Juan” Soto. They wanted two Sotos. So they picked up reliever Gregory Soto. I did the math — at this rate, by 2034, their entire roster will be named Soto.
Welcome to the city, folks.
At 34D today, the clue was “_____ Türeci, physician/scientist who co-founded BioNTech,” and the answer was OZLEM. She was instrumental in the development of the Covid vaccine.
Egs complained: “So many obvious ways to clue OZLEM and they went with Türeci?”
Whoa — she looks scary smart:
This is her husband, Uğur Şahin, who is also a brilliant scientist, in cancer research, and does a spot-on Obama imitation. They are billionaires, but live modestly.
Okay. Gotta sploot. See you next time.
The Wellington Files 