This poem by Aaron Smith is from Poets.org.
I’m Dating A Man Who’s Married
to a man who’s dating a man who’s
married to a woman. The husband
of the man I’m dating knows he’s
dating me and my boyfriend knows his
husband is dating the man who’s
married to the woman who does not
know her husband is gay. The guy
she’s married to—the boyfriend
of my boyfriend’s husband—just told
his mom he’s gay and she’s happy
because she never liked his wife
which is kind of funny but mostly
sad and I feel sad that her husband
who’s dating a man is also a man
with a mother who has never liked her.
I tell my boyfriend to tell his husband
to tell his boyfriend that he needs
to tell his wife sooner rather than later
and I know he knows that but still it needs
to be said. My boyfriend said his husband
said his boyfriend plans to tell his wife
Memorial Day weekend when his grown
kids are home from college and everyone,
I imagine, is eating potato salad by the pool.
She works at a flower shop two towns
over. I want to go there when she’s not
there and buy her flowers, leave a note
with her coworker at the counter:
You deserve happiness, Natalie.
You deserve love.
Love,
Your husband’s boyfriend’s
husband’s boyfriend.
Several years ago I walked up Lexington Avenue from my office to a coffee place and ordered a small cup of coffee. I think it cost $3, so it was a bit of a splurge since the coffee from the street vendors was less than half that back then, albeit barely drinkable. (In defense of the street vendors, the $3 cup was almost always disappointing.) Anyway, as I attempted to hand the fellow cash to pay for it he said they don’t accept cash — I had to pay by card. What followed was a scene we might call “Senior can’t figure out how to use the damn card machine.” I tapped it and poked it all over but kept missing the teeny slot. Anyway, I finally got it.
Suppose I had just left my office with an Abe (five dollar bill), and didn’t take my wallet with my cards? Could they still refuse my cash and accuse me of not paying? Could they call the cops on me?
Let’s see how the situation plays out in the Dull Men’s Club (UK). Club member Richard Eaton (appropriately named because he had just “eaton”) posted the following:
I had a meal in a nice restaurant the other evening. When I came to pay with cash, they insisted it was “card only.” Not wanting to make a scene, I paid by card and left. [The dull thing to do, of course.]
I have since been doing some digging and from what I have read, the Great British Pound is legal tender, so technically cannot be refused within the UK? In other words if I owe the restaurant £33.65 for my meal and hand over that amount in cash, then technically they cannot say I haven’t paid as I have tendered to them the amount that I owe? 
The consensus that emerged held that the restaurant had the right to demand payment by card only, or in any fashion of its choosing.
Steve Craig: A restaurant can refuse cash. Legal Tender doesn’t mean what most people think it does. Per The Bank Of England: “Legal tender has a narrow technical meaning which has no use in everyday life. It means that if you offer to fully pay off a debt to someone in legal tender, they can’t sue you for failing to repay.”
Ian Taylor: Is there a legal definition of a debt? Could ordering and eating a meal be classed as a debt? I’ve often wondered this in my dull way.
Steve: I think the “which has no use in every day life” covers it.
Ian: If you have eaten the meal before payment it is a debt. Therefore refusal to accept legal tender leaves them in a precarious position unless it is clearly advertised as needing a payment method of their choice.
Steve: I suggest you argue with the Bank Of England. I’ve just quoted them, that’s all.
Ian: if you have eaten the meal. You are indebted to the restaurant. Legal tender can be used to pay a debt in full. It is not the same as a standard transaction.
Steve: I suggest you go do some more research on what kind of debt Legal Tender refers to. It refers to a court appointed debt, and the payment is to the court. Payment for a meal would not count.
Spencer Brooks: How do you think a Court would view a restaurant that refused cash to settle a bill for a meal, then sued the customer to get a judgment that the customer can pay… in cash. Good use of a Court’s time? Reasonable behaviour? Or do you think the judge is going to be very unimpressed and most likely award costs against the restaurant…
Steve: Spencer, I don’t think you are following the conversation.
Diane Topping: What could they do if you left the cash on the table and walked out?
Steve: Report a crime to the police. You may get prosecuted.
Mark Goodge: the offence of making off without payment requires you to intend to avoid payment. Leaving sufficient cash clearly negates this intent.
Steve: It may negate that intent, but the crime would still be recorded and investigated. I said MAY get prosecuted, not WILL get prosecuted.
Owl Chatter wonders: There must be special rules for redheads, no?
My brother must have sensed I was a budding misanthrope because I remember a card he bought for me for some occasion when I was little. It had a small dark man on the front, and it said: People I hate. On the inside it said: You I like.
This song by The Chills sends a similar moosage:
I have no patience for anyone
But I’ve lots of time for you.
The song relates to the puzzle today via the “blanket” in the title. The theme revealer was clued with “Catchphrase of a classic MTV show.” The answer spanned the grid: WELCOME TO MY CRIB. And the theme answers contained items you’d find in a crib, but in non-crib contexts, viz., BLANKET POLICIES, RAILING AT, MONITOR LIZARD, and MOBILE APP.
Monitor lizards have long necks, powerful tails and claws, and well-developed limbs. The Komodo Dragon is one. They can be as big as ten-feet long.
Did you ever hear Richard Pryor on snakes? He says a snake will make you run into a tree. Then he yells SNAKE and turns and pretends he smacked into a tree.
Commenter Gary says his “blanket policy” is “Yes, please.” He lives in New Mexico and had this lizard tale to share: We have lizards all over the place here in the southwest, and they’re very nice, but they’re not ten feet long so it’s a bit disappointing. We had to catch one at work last week who snuck in the back door and it was five minutes of excitement for my staff. They’re very fast … the lizards not my staff.
Look, I understand there will be growth in pro sports. When I first started as a fan, each baseball league had only 8 teams. So that’s 16, in case you’re not a math major. Now there are 30, and I’m fine with that. The entire NHL had only six teams. Amazing! Let’s see – NY, BOS, TOR, MON, DET, and CHI. Giants like Gordie Howe and Bobby Hull roamed the ice. Now there are 32. And it’s weird to think of ice hockey in Dallas, Florida, and Utah.
But I’m having trouble adapting to last year’s bloating of the Big Ten. It’s been more than ten for a while now and I’ve adapted to that. For one thing it was limited geographically to the midwest and northeast. But all hell broke loose last year. Here are the current Big Ten: Michigan, Ohio State, Nebraska, Northwestern, Minnesota, Purdue, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan State, Penn State, Maryland, Rutgers, Iowa, and Wisconsin. I’m okay with those fourteen. But the four new ones — Oregon, Washington, USC, and UCLA. What the hell is that about? Doesn’t sit right with me. Michican and Oregon is like mayo and corn flakes.
Just wanted to get that off my chest.
The season opens a week from Thursday (8/28), with a real big OSU-Texas matchup slated for Saturday, 8/30, at noon in Columbus. BTW, Sam explained the protocol for rooting when a conference team is playing outside the conference: You support all Big Ten teams, except for Ohio State. So, Hook ’em Horns!!
At 33D, the clue was “Dance performed in Smetana’s ‘The Bartered Bride,’” and the answer was POLKA. Fair enough. But did you know, per Rex, Smetana is also the English-language name for the different types of sour cream traditionally prevalent in Central, Eastern, and Southeastern Europe, and Central Asia? It is a dairy product produced by souring heavy cream. It is similar to crème fraîche, but nowadays mainly sold with 9% to 42% milkfat content depending on the country.
Commenter Diane shared: The discussion of Czech sour cream brought back a memory for me. My best friend’s mom, from what was then Czechoslovakia, once prepared a summer snack for us of cucumbers and sour cream. As a child I thought it was unappetizing but I wish I could relive that day now.
See you tomorrow Chatterheads — thanks for dropping in.
The Wellington Files 