Let’s open today with this news item from The Onion:
Nation’s 56,000 Acres Of Spinach Crops Cooked Down To Single Half-Cup Serving
At 60A in the puzzle yesterday the clue was “High-end suit” and the answer was ARMANI. OMG, he just died, sadly. Here are three comments that appeared:
Elizabeth: Armani died today–or at least announced today. Coincidence?
egs: No. I’m pretty sure Will Shortz had him rubbed out to increase the relevance of today’s puzzle.
Liveprof (me): Nobody is safe.
The theme yesterday centered on the phrase DOES IT SCALE? It’s apparently a term in venture capitalism. You make a proposal and the question is asked: “Does it scale?” The following exchange occurred:
Rex: This one started somewhat disappointing, and then got promising, and then went back to disappointing again with the revealer. I understand the phrase “DOES IT SCALE?” but I care so little about “investors” and start-ups and businessspeak in general that the phrase just leaves me flat. Worse, it’s kind of off-putting. If the phrase were truly colorful or involved great wordplay or were particularly apt, my aversion would not have mattered so much, but something about “scaling” as the core concept was such a letdown that even if I were a venture capitalism admirer and fervent Shark Tank watcher, “DOES IT SCALE?” would have landed with a bit of a thud.
Anony Mouse: Rex I love the commentary and read the blog every day, but man I get you hate business people, and business, and capitalism and all the things but stop for one moment and ponder… if there weren’t “investors” you wouldn’t have the internet to write your blog, or the laptop you write it on, or the chair you sit in to write… or god forbid you use a stand up desk because that certainly came from an Entreprenuer… iPhone, yes. Oh wait you hate Steve Jobs and Apple and you are an android fan??? Also from an entrepreneur (Larry Page)… who subsequently is spending all of his time currently making sure AI doesn’t end it all. So, for once… enough with bashing entrepreneurs as a class of humans… it’s no better than all the other things you are “against.”
Rex’s response: Hi and thanks for reading. I will never stop bashing the so-called “entrepreneur”-ial class. The very prevalence of that pretentious French word makes me feel good about the bashing. “Business” people have reduced the entire world to AI-controlled ashes. They have all the money. They care only about money (pleasing shareholders, ROI, etc). Everything transactional. It’s repulsive to me, whatever benefits might accrue from some few businesses. Just let me have my hate. 🙏 Businessspeak is an ugly scourge rooted in dissimulation. Further, I do not understand regular human beings caping for billionaires and I never will (esp the billionaires at Google, who have over time made searching for anything accurate or useful well nigh impossible; it’s all AI slop and ads). Billionaires hate you. They are largely anti humanists who would kill their own grandmothers if it meant marginally higher profits. Am I being hyperbolic? Seems possible! I hope you keep reading though. You made your point very nicely, which is rare on the internet, so thank you.
[I had to look it up, but “caping” is slang for standing up for somebody. Rex used it correctly.]
In the puzzle, the theme answers were things that climbed, using the meaning of “scale” in the sense of scaling a wall. And the theme answers were all downs to be entered upside down, i.e., instead of ABCD, you entered DCBA. So ROCKCLIMBER had to be entered REBMILCKCOR.
Commenter teedmn wrote: I took a bit of time to see the theme because I tried to believe that REB MILCKCOR was someone’s name. And I posted: Yes, Reb Milckcor was a brilliant Talmudic scholar. He and Reb Hillel would argue fine points of Hebraic law into the wee hours.
More from The Onion:
E-Mail From Aunt Accidentally Opened
The question that arises today is: What the f*ck planet are we living on? Within several sentences of each other, today’s NYT says RFK Jr. once called the Covid vaccine “a crime against humanity,” and also said Trump deserves a Nobel prize for presiding over its creation. Kennedy did concede at one point that it saved lives, but dismissed studies showing millions were saved. The Times described that as “walking a fine line.”
Here’s Dr. Susan Monarez, the former head of the CDC whom RFK Jr. fired because she has gray hair. Wait, Phil — are you sure that’s the doc?
Both TNT (“Need for a demo, maybe”), and DYNAMITE STICK (“Ground-breaking invention?”) were in the puzzle today. They are different things, btw. Dynamite is more powerful, but TNT is more stable, and thus easier to handle and control. Keep that in mind when you finally go off the deep end.
Commenter Lewis pointed out that the constructor of today’s puzzle, Bryan Cheong, is only fourteen years old. I thanked him for reminding me what failures my children are. (Just kidding Caity and Sam — love you!!)
So how in the world does Bryan Cheong know about Belle Starr? Clue at 6D: “Belle _____, real-life 19th-century outlaw celebrated in film and TV.” Maybe his parents (grandparents?) like Dylan?
The sweet pretty things are in bed now, of course
The city fathers, they’re trying to endorse
The reincarnation of Paul Revere’s horse
But the town has no need to be nervous
The ghost of Belle Starr, she hands down her wits
To Jezebel, the nun, she violently knits
A bald wig for Jack the Ripper who sits
At the head of the chamber of commerce
Mama’s in the factory
She ain’t got no shoes
Daddy’s in the alley
He’s lookin’ for food
I am in the kitchen
With the tombstone blues
Many women have portrayed Starr in films and on TV. Elsa Martinelli played Starr in The Belle Starr Story, a western directed by Lina Wertmüller. Phil was able to track Elsa down at her home, below.
This poem by Paul Hostovsky was in today’s Writer’s Almanac. It’s called “Greenhouse.”
My Aunt Ellie lived in a green-
house. This was in Irvington
New Jersey. A Jew alone
is a Jew in danger, her husband
said. Their daughter, my cousin,
wanted to go where she wanted
to go. They said it was a big
mistake. In a greenhouse you
cultivate certain delicate
non-indigenous plants. The house
was green and my cousin fell
deeply in love with a black man.
When she married him her father
sat shiva for her, meaning that
he mourned her for dead. But
she was only living over in East
Orange. She had two beautiful
daughters who never knew
their grandfather on their mother’s
side. Because she was dead to him
until the day he died. That was the day
we all went over to Aunt Ellie’s house
where she was sitting shiva. We met
my cousin’s husband Toe, for the first time,
and their two daughters, Leah and Aleesha.
And we opened all the windows in
the greenhouse on that day, for outside
it was a beautiful spring day and we
broke out the expensive delicate china
from Germany which they kept locked up
in a glass breakfront in the hall.
I have no truck with parents who forsake their children because they married out of their religion or race, or out of homophobia. It’s abhorrent to me. Tommy Lasorda never accepted that his son, Tom Jr., was gay. When his son died of aids Lasorda insisted it was cancer. But I don’t know how my own dad would have reacted to my marrying Linda. He died when I was fourteen. I might have been Lasorda-ed. My mom, of course, and my entire family loved Linda immediately and unreservedly. Boruch Hashem.
There was a pretty arcane baseball reference in the puzzle. The clue was “Slugger Scott with eight Gold Gloves.” What makes it harder is you don’t necessarily think of him as a slugger. Answer: Scott ROLEN. He’s only 50 years old now. I think of him mainly for his defense at third base, but he could hit too. Scott won eight Gold Gloves and was an All-Star seven times. In Game 7 of the 2004 NLCS (for the pennant), Rolen homered off of Roger Clemens in the sixth inning with one on, giving St. Louis the lead over Houston which it never relinquished.
Scott was inducted into the Hall of Fame two years ago. He holds an unusual distinction: In his first year of eligibility for the Hall he received only 10.2% of the votes. It was the lowest percentage ever recorded by someone eventually getting enough to get in, as Scott did in his sixth year. He’s an Indiana boy. Nice to see you in the grid, Buddy.
OK Chatterheads. Let’s call it a day. See you tomorrow!
The Wellington Files 