I have an account with Santander Bank. I tried to access my account on my phone but they said I couldn’t because I didn’t have a mobile phone number on file. If they had, they could send me a security code. Okay, so I went online via my laptop to update my profile to add the mobile phone number but they said I couldn’t because I didn’t have a mobile phone number on file! I am not kidding. I have to go to a branch office to do it. It’s a good thing I’m not driven to homicidal rages when things like this occur (much).
It was not a good weather day for our ballgame on Tuesday. We took a chance even going. Not too many people took the chance. There were about seven of us in the stadium. (That’s an exaggeration, but it was pretty empty.) It was like having a private ballgame all to ourselves. Our seats were great. Just to the third base side of home, not very far up (300-level). And how often do you get to meet George Washington? (No. 1, for real.) Relaxing at the ballpark, in his Jim Harbaugh khakis.
Jake Irvin was struggling but got out of jams in the first three innings and was all set to nurse our little 2-run lead home safely. But it was not to be. The Atlantans pounded him for five in the fourth, including two dingers, and we had to play catch-up the rest of the way and failed, falling 6-3 in the end. We enjoyed it nonetheless and stayed through eight innings until the wetness and cold got the better of us.
A fan near us kept shouting instructions and encouragement. Usually that annoys me, the loudness, the boorishness. But I liked this guy. Very often he was shouting exactly what I was thinking, and he was funny.
“Do not walk the leadoff man.”
“Do not walk the leadoff man.”
“Do not walk the leadoff man.”
(Ball four)
“I distinctly told you not to walk the leadoff man.”
“Throw strikes.”
“Let him hit; he can’t hurt us.”
(Batter laces a sharp single to right.)
“Okay — that one’s on me. That’s on me.”
One reason we chose this game was “$5 Tuesday:” Hot dogs and beers for $5 each and cheap parking ($14). Hot dogs and beer at the ballpark — it’s the best lunch you can have. We enjoyed every bite.
I took this shot as we were leaving. The few fans in attendance had left or took shelter from a sudden rain. You can see the players on the field with almost no one in the stands. An oddity.
The poet Paul Zimmer turns 91 today, kinehora. Growing up in Canton, Ohio, his dream was to be a catcher for the Cleveland Indians. He had to give up that dream, but maybe not entirely. He said: “I have been a catcher all my life. Warehouse manager, technical writer, soldier, bookstore buyer, editor, publisher, husband, father, gardener, poet — I have borne the catcher’s attitude to all these tasks. I have given signals, received pitches, watched the field, kept my eye on the ball, avoided most cheap shots, backed up bases, stayed busy, chattered encouragement, made decisions.”
The puzzle defeated me today. Yes, I know it’s only Thursday, but still. . .
Right off the bat at 1A the clue was “Customizable, all-in-one internet digest.” What? It turned out to be RSS FEED. Still have no idea what that is, but that’s not what did me in. I got that through the crosses. What killed me were three short answers that crossed each other in the center: 28A “Equine hybrid (5 letters).” 28D: “Quality to which a unique six-character code is assigned, in graphic design (3).” 31A: “Terse reply to “Why? (3)”
How’d you do? The answers are HINNY, HUE, and CUZ. (SRSLY, right?)
I thought of jenny for the horse because that’s a type of donkey. Hue just didn’t come to me at all. And I thought of a shortened form of “because,” but didn’t think it was CUZ, because that’s a term of endearment (I hope it is) my cousins Dayle and Dianne call me.
Oh, well. I’ll pat myself on the back for getting the rest of it — Rex rated it challenging, which is very very very rare for him.
38D: “Constellation whose name is Latin for ‘lizard.’” LACERTA. (What?)
From The Onion sportsdesk:
Report Finds Majority Of Fumbles Recovered Within First 48 Hours
Local News:
Third Stepdad In Row Has Goatee
Crossworld fave Paolo Pasco won his sixth Jeopardy! game yesterday and his total winnings so far are $162,117. He had been wagering very small amounts on Final Jeopardy, but he had to go big this time since the woman in second place could have reached him if she went big. The category was Novels and the the clue was “In April 2025 the Empire State Building was lit up green to celebrate the 100th anniversary of this novel’s publication.”
I had no idea. I was thinking something Irish? It was The Great Gatsby. Both Paolo and the woman got it right. It brought him up to around $27K.
Here are his two foes from his toughest fight (Monday). The kid on the right had him beat going into Final Jep. Seemed pretty stunned when P pulled the rug out.
[Breaking news: Paolo won again tonight, easily. That’s #7 and another $33,000 or so.]
Did you know that the state tree of South Dakota is the telephone pole?
Baltimore has a real treasure of a movie theater: The Charles.
After chillin’ for close to two hours with coffee and lunch at Dooby’s, we went over to see The Baltimorons, a new rom-com that takes place in Baltimore. We enjoyed it! Very likable “boy meets dentist” plot (lady dentist). It scored 93% with the critics at Rotten Tomatoes (85% with audiences). Brooklyn-born Olivia Luccardi is in it. Good job, girl! Hope to see more of you!
Mark Timms of the Dull Men’s Club (UK) asks:
I have just had a shower and found out your arms are just long enough to reach every square centimetre of your torso, with one arm you can wash the majority except for a small section of your upper back. This was just a personal experience: anyone out there able to wash their entire body single handed?
Murray Atkinson: Nobody can wash their entire body with 1 hand… the elbow of that arm is the sticking point! I used to be able to do almost all the rest with either hand.. shoulders aren’t as flexible now!
Roger Allen: I wouldn’t think that anyone can wash the posterior deltoid area of their shoulder with the same hand.
Nick Morris: Not sure but I sit in the corner of the pub licking my eyebrows
Graham Haddow: This is a very thoughtless, insensitive post. I have a frozen shoulder.
Avi Liveson: Did someone say “torso?” Lydia the tattooed lady has eyes that folks adore so, and a torso even more so.
Neil Stewart: I’d like to thank each and every member of Dull Men’s Club – UK Chapter for not posting any photos, let alone videos.
Avi Liveson: Ouch.
So the wife steps out of the shower and the husband steps in, and just then the doorbell rings. So the wife wraps a big white towel around herself and goes down to see who it is. It’s their neighbor, Lou. He takes one look at her and says: If you let go of that towel, I’ll give you $300. She thinks for a second and then, voila. The towel drops, and he gives her the money. She wraps the towel around herself again and goes back upstairs. The husband yells out of the shower: “Who was it?” She says: “Lou from next door.” He says: “Did he say anything about the $300 he owes me?”
Every sport has its “unwritten rules.” When you hit a home run, if you spend too much time watching it at the plate, flip your bat (arrogantly), and in general enjoy it just a little too much, you are “showing up” the pitcher, and you can expect a 95-mile-per-hour fastball thrown at your head your next at-bat. No question.
But tennis is simply off the planet, apparently. Taylor Townsend (of the U.S.) and Jelena Ostapenko (Latvia) got into a face-to-face argument on the court sideline right after Townsend won their second-round match 7-5, 6-1 at the U.S. Open recently. Ostapenko told Townsend she has “no class and no education.” Ostapenko has been accused of racism, which she denied. She told Townsend to wait until we play outside the U.S. Townsend said: “Bring it.”
Ostapenko later explained what ticked her off so much. First, Townsend was “disrespectful” for not saying “sorry” after being helped by a net cord during a point. (Gasp.) AND Townsend began warming up before the match up at the net, instead of back at the baseline. Shoot her!! (While most players begin at the baseline, Townsend has started with volleying for years.)
Townsend had the last word: “The thing that I’m the most proud of is that I let my racket talk. Because ultimately, I’m the one here, sitting in front of you guys, moving on to the next round, getting the next check, moving on, being able to still be here and speak to you guys, and that’s what’s the most important,” Townsend said. “She’s packed up and she’s gone.” Hey, T, no one likes a sore winner.
What we take out of this: Don’t f*ck with a Chicago girl.
See you tomorrow Chatterheads. Thanks for popping in.
The Wellington Files 