Where do Zay people go to meet each other? Zabar’s! OMG, Zabar’s is the best place in the world. We got the lox for our wedding there. (The bagels came from Avenue M in Brooklyn.) You want cheese? They have 800 cheeses. They roast their own coffee. Fantastic breads.
The business was started by Louis and Lillian (Teit) Zabar in 1934 as the smoked-fish department of a Daitch supermarket on Broadway. Oldest son Saul left college to come help in 1950 when Louis died. The store is on Broadway and West 80th Street now and does $55 million in business annually.
Saul passed away this week at the age of 97. That white paper they use to wrap sliced lox was folded over him prior to burial. (No it wasn’t.) The obit in the NY Times referred to him as one of New York’s leading lox-smiths.
Saul’s office doubled as a tasting room. He visited fish wholesalers to sample the latest catch. As legend has it, he got so angry once about a whitefish that didn’t taste right that he threw it on the floor and stepped on it. What did he look for in a fish? His Zen response: “It’s got to have taste. Not too this, not too that.”
In 2011 a scandal arose when it emerged that there was no lobster in the lobster salad. There was no intention to deceive, Saul said, and he cited a Wikipedia entry that defined crawfish, which the salad did contain, as “freshwater crustaceans resembling small lobsters, to which they are related.”
Nonetheless, he changed the name of the dish to “seafare salad.” But that didn’t work either, because crawfish aren’t saltwater fish. Alright, so let’s call it “zabster zalad.” Are you happy now? And the people rejoiced.
Saul was often asked why they didn’t go into franchising, which would have been lucrative. “Money is not why we do this,” Saul answered.
He is survived by his wife Ann, three children, four grandchildren, and two brothers, all of whom drop by for half a pound of this or a quarter of that from time to time.
Rest in peace, Saul Zabar.
How stupid is this country? Columbus Day? SRSLY? Nobody said anything about what a monster he was? How could it go so far for so long?
Hey, everybody, let’s have a national Hitler Day!
OK, sure. Let’s ask Congress!
Congress: No problem! Everyone loves a Monday off. Let’s close the Post Office and Banks. Yay! Hooray for Hitler Day!
(A sh*tload of time passes.)
Um, guys — did you hear about this Holocaust thing? Maybe we were a little hasty with Hitler Day. I feel a little bad now.
Okay, listen, it just slipped by us. No big deal. Let’s just start calling it National Pancake Day — who doesn’t love pancakes?
Ever want to get rid of someone so badly you’d be willing to pay them money to go away? Yeah, me too. All the time. Penn State is paying their coach James Franklin $45 million to get the hell out of town. Jeez Louise, what did he do — strangle their cat? I saw him on a food show once — seemed like a nice guy. (There’s this great show (or was) on the Big Ten Network that went to cool eateries in the various college towns and met the owners and ate the food. They featured a great sandwich shop in Ann Arbor Sam and I made it our business to get to: The Maize and Blue Deli. Very good.) Anyway, if I were a donor or paying tuition to the school (or a PA taxpayer), I’m not sure I’d be pleased with their use of my funds.
Breaking News from The Onion:
Exit From Apartment Delayed 20 Seconds To Avoid Pleasantries With Neighbor
SAN FRANCISCO—Having already put on his jacket and slung his messenger bag over his shoulder, 30-year-old Marcus Albright reportedly paused mere moments before opening his apartment door to leave for work Friday morning, delaying his exit some 20 seconds to avoid exchanging pleasantries with his neighbor across the hall. “I was just about to walk out, but then I heard Jeff [Wilhelm]’s door open and I heard him step out, so I just decided to wait inside for a few moments until he locked his door and left,” said Albright, who reportedly stood quietly in his entryway holding his keys in his hand for nearly half a minute to prevent a congenial and passing dialogue with his neighbor. “I figured if I just hung out there until I heard him go down the stairs and then waited for the click of the front door to the building closing behind him then I should be good.” At press time, Albright reportedly made an abrupt detour into a nearby convenience store after noticing Wilhelm waiting at his bus stop.
The puzzle theme today was FAST FOOD. But not the burgers and fries type. The theme answers were QUICK OATS, INSTANT RAMEN, and HASTY PUDDING. I suggested that runny eggs could have been included.
The clue for hasty pudding was “Thick porridge referenced in ‘Yankee Doodle.’”
Father and I went down to camp
Along with Captain Gooding
And there we saw the men and boys
As thick as hasty pudding.
In British cuisine it’s wheat-based. In the U.S., it’s made with cornmeal (it’s grits in the South). I forgot how much I enjoyed this movie.
Commenter Barbara S. shared this:
A few years ago, I came across a mock-heroic poem that dates to the late 18th century. It’s by Joel Barlow who, as well as being a poet, was an American politician, with roles in both the American and French Revolutions. The poem is monstrously long and covers a lot of ground – it praises American culture, corn (the basis of HASTY PUDDING), and the life of the common people, and it criticizes luxury in all its forms. Here’s a taste:
Despise it not, ye bards to terror steeled,
Who hurl your thunders round the epic field;
Nor ye who strain your midnight throats to sing
Joys that the vineyard and the stillhouse bring;
Or on some distant fair your notes employ,
And speak of raptures that you ne’er enjoy.
I sing the sweets I know, the charms I feel,
My morning incense, and my evening meal,
The sweets of Hasty Pudding. Come, dear bowl,
Glide o’er my palate, and inspire my soul.
The milk beside thee, smoking from the kine,
Its substance mingled, married in with thine,
Shall cool and temper thy superior heat,
And save the pains of blowing while I eat.
34D was “Pull’s opposite.” (Turn it up!) See you tomorrow, Chatterheads!
The Wellington Files 