Election Day went well in Jersey for us lunatic Communist radicals bent on destroying America. All hail Mikie Sherrill, our congresswoman, now our Governess. Her ads all tarred her opponent as a tax raiser: how many Repubs face that charge? But everyone knew it was a case of her representing all that is good in the world and him representing all that is evil.
Here’s Mikie (on the right) hangin’ with the cool Deputy Mayor of Asbury Park, Amy Quinn, in her Stone Pony tee.
Is Bill Maher being snippy for dissing Kimmel for not thanking him? “Look, Jimmy apparently doesn’t like me too much anymore because he thanked everybody but me. And I was adamant, adamant, about supporting him that week and the next week,” Maher said.
How does Maher know “he thanked everybody but me?” Anyone else who wasn’t thanked wouldn’t have been thanked, no?
Kimmel was Sarah Silverman’s partner from ’02 to ’09. She was entering a pool in a fancy resort once and noticed a sign that said: “Do not enter if you have diarrhea or have had diarrhea within the last 14 days.” She said, “Why don’t they just come out and say it: No Jews allowed. She found a Jewish woman in the audience who claimed not to have had diarrhea for two weeks and likened it to the miracle of Chanukah. “She only had a three-day supply of Immodium . . . “
Does she look sweet here? Don’t tangle with this woman — you will not come out alive.
The Jets traded two of their best defensive men for draft picks yesterday. I’m too numb from all the years of torture to care anymore. May be a good move, what do I know? They certainly weren’t winning with them. Sauce Gardner has the best ever nickname, though. I’ll miss that.
Dig in, Buddy. Good luck in Indy.
Do you know who Anna Lee Fisher is? I didn’t either until she showed up in the puzzle today. She’s a doctor and chemist but gained fame as an astronaut who was, as the clue states, “the first mother to fly into space.” She was married to fellow astronaut Bill Fisher and had two kids with him, but they divorced in 2000. They are the only couple ever to have had sex with each other while in their space suits. If you think those ice hockey uniforms are sexy, get a load of Annie Lee in this hot get-up. No wonder Fisher couldn’t hold back.
At 38D, the clue was “Dinner order request on a first date, perhaps.” Answer: NO ONIONS. Here’s Rex on it:
Calling “NO ONIONS” an “order” is a stretch, and a big one. It’s an order specification—a part of an order, but not the order itself. And anyway, do people really avoid onions on “dates?” I never really understood the whole onions/bad breath connection. Bad breath is a very specific thing that has much more to do with mouth hygiene than anything you ate. If you’re gonna make out with someone right after dinner, you’re gonna have the meal on your breath to some extent. Who cares!? You want the damn onions, eat the damned onions! Life’s too short to be gaming the situation much.
Turn it up!
At 37D, the clue was “Prop in a comedy club,” and the answer was STOOL. Here’s egs: “I quit my traveling salesman job selling furniture to bars. Just so unpleasant having to drag STOOL samples from town to town.”
Here is a Green Bee-Eater, showing how it got its name.
And here’s a poem with the same name, by Pascale Petit from The Poetry Foundation.
More precious than all
the gems of Jaipur—
the green bee-eater.
If you see one singing
tree-tree-tree
with his space-black bill
and rufous cap,
his robes
all shades of emerald
like treetops glimpsed
from a plane,
his blue cheeks,
black eye-mask
and the delicate tail streamer
like a plume of smoke—
you might dream
of the forests
that once clothed
our flying planet.
And perhaps his singing
is a spell
to call our forests back—
tree
by tree
by tree.
OMG, this visit to the Dull Men’s Club (UK) got me laughing out loud. I mean it: I was sitting at the keyboard roaring. See if you can tell what set me off.
Matt Hale posted: Just picked up the TV remote in an attempt to answer a phone call. Stared at it for a good 10 seconds trying to find the answer button. Going to bed now.
Timothy Franklin: I took a remote to work instead of my phone.
Tracy Lightfoot: I have tried to change a tv channel with my cordless phone.
Alan Hunt: Over 60 by any chance? If ‘yes’ you are normal, if ‘no,’ what was the question?
Leon Cowan: I tried to open my front door with a Greggs sausage roll this morning. You’re not alone.
Diane Reed: Can you let me know if you see my specs please?
[OC note: It was Leon Cowan’s note, with the sausage roll. Too funny.]
No way to top that. Might as well shut the store. See you tomorrow Chatterheads!
The Wellington Files 