The rivalry between quarterback Josh Allen of the Bills and Travis Kelce of the Chiefs has heated up and spilled over beyond the gridiron. Allen is married to actress Hailee Steinfeld who played a vampire in Sinners, and Trav, of course, is engaged to you-know-whom. It’s a little ridiculous how competitive these guys can get. Allen recently sent a note to Kelce that said: “I’m going to be a daddy — Hailee’s pregnant. Your move, Mr. Fancypants.”

Here’s the happy couple in a lovely personal moment before they realized Phil had snuck onto their property and chased him away with dogs.

Speaking of Tay, one thing’s for certain: I’ll never understand fashion. Here are two shots of her from last Wednesday when she appeared on Stephen Colbert’s show. In the first, she’s just getting out of the limo, not trying (much) to look glamorous. Looks great, IMO. In the second she’s wearing a $1,700 minidress that’s not nearly as pretty. For one thing, what’s that sleeve business?

As always, on these matters, we ran the issue by our style and culture consultant Ana de Armas and have just heard back from her: “The dress is gorgeous, don’t be an idiot.”

Thanks Armas!

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The puzzle beat me up pretty good today: couldn’t finish. D’oh! Of course, much of the commentariat complained that it was too easy. (Not kidding.)

Among my misses: “School viewing?” was SNORKELING. I was thinking fish, but just couldn’t nail it. “Cry in many a horror film” was RUN. Brain glitched on that. Never heard of the rapper LATTO (used to be Mulatto), and couldn’t get from “Well, whoop-de-doo!” to OH FUN.

You win, Gene Louise De Vera!

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It got off to a raring start. First word across: “Possible turnoff on a first date:” BAD BREATH. Right below it: “Spicy shellfish dish:” CURRIED CRAB. Well, that explains it. “Can I see you again?” (Wretching) “No.”

I learned something at 50D. The clue was “Pitch, roll and _____ (rotations along the three-dimensional axes).” Answer: YAW.

Commenter Gary: I hope a mathy person will explain “pitch, roll, and yaw” today. I can’t even picture a “three dimensional axis.”

Anony Mouse: Picture a game of Jacks. Each jack displays a 3D axis.

[What?]

Burtonkd: Think of an airplane: PITCH is the nose going up or down, ROLL is banking to the left or right, YAW is turning left or right on a flat surface like a car would.

OldCarFudd: I used to fly small airplanes for fun. The stick (or wheel) and rudder pedals control the three axes of the plane’s motion. Stick back, nose up; stick forward, nose down: Pitch control. Stick left, lower left wing; stick right, lower right wing; Roll control. Push left rudder pedal, nose left; push right rudder pedal, nose right; Yaw control. Learn to do those things in a coordinated way, and you’ve learned a lot about how to fly the plane.

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At 29D: “Article of regalia worn by both Elizabeth II and Pope Paul VI.” Did you know this? TIARA. It’s the Papal Tiara:

Quick — who comes to mind? Dan Ackroyd?

I remember the Pope complaining it would take a miracle to find a bag that matched.

Here’s a cartoon I made up. A magician is sawing a woman in half, and it’s a disaster: she’s shrieking and there’s blood pouring out from the box. And he’s saying: “Dammit, I bet the rabbit trick doesn’t work either.”

[Look, you can’t expect gems at these prices.]

Speaking of gems, after Trump’s speech in Pennsylvania, which was supposed to reassure the country about the economy, the White House decided to let Vance and Bessent cover for him for future speeches. Trump posted the following few concise words after giving the speech:

I go out of my way to do long, thorough, and very boring Medical Examinations at the Great Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, seen and supervised by top doctors, all of whom have given me PERFECT Marks—Some have even said they have never seen such Strong Results. I do these Tests because I owe it to our Country. In addition to the Medical, I have done something that no other President has done, on three separate occasions, the last one being recently, by taking what is known as a Cognitive Examination, something which few people would be able to do very well, including those working at The New York Times, and I ACED all three of them in front of large numbers of doctors and experts, most of whom I do not know. I have been told that few people have been able to ‘ace’ this Examination and, in fact, most do very poorly, which is why many other Presidents have decided not to take it at all. Despite all of this, the time and work involved, The New York Times, and some others, like to pretend that I am ‘slowing up,’ am maybe not as sharp as I once was, or am in poor physical health, knowing that it is not true, and knowing that I work very hard, probably harder than I have ever worked before. I will know when I am ‘slowing up,’ but it’s not now! After all of the work I have done with Medical Exams, Cognitive Exams, and everything else, I actually believe it’s seditious, perhaps even treasonous, for The New York Times, and others, to consistently do FAKE reports in order to libel and demean ‘THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.’ They are true Enemies of the People, and we should do something about it. They have inaccurately reported on all of my Election Results and, in fact, were forced to apologize on much of what they wrote. The best thing that could happen to this Country would be if The New York Times would cease publication because they are a horrible, biased, and untruthful ‘source’ of information. Thank you for your attention to this matter. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”

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This poem by Mark Strand is called “Poor North.”

It is cold, the snow is deep,
the wind beats around in its cage of trees,
clouds have the look of rags torn and soiled with use,
and starlings peck at the ice.
It is north, poor north. Nothing goes right.

The man of the house has gone to work,
selling chairs and sofas in a failing store.
His wife stays home and stares from the window into the trees,
trying to recall the life she lost, though it wasn’t much.
White flowers of frost build up on the glass.

It is late in the day. Brants and Canada geese are asleep
on the waters of St Margaret’s Bay.
The man and his wife are out for a walk; see how they lean
into the wind; they turn up their collars
and the small puffs of their breath are carried away.

Here is a brant (small goose).

We’ll let that little cutie honk us off tonight. Thanks for stopping in!