Cliff Rose of the Dull Men’s Club (UK) posts:

I spend more time than I ought to wondering what selection criteria people use when choosing a parking space. Will it be far away from other cars in the row ? Or as close as possible, even if there are loads of empty spaces ?

Here we have a picture of the car park by a lake where my doggy gets his morning walk. When we arrived today the car park was empty and I selected the first convenient space on the left.

When doggy and I returned from our walk around the lake there were three more cars in the car park. One had taken a space in the opposite row and away from mine. One had taken a space in the row on the same side and again well away from mine.

But one had taken the very next space to mine, and not only that, made sure we both had to struggle to use our drivers’ door……

WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS ??

Phil Goodchild: Now this is a pet peeve, it has happened to me on a few occasions, just why the eff does some twerp decide to park in the space next to where I have parked in an empty car park. I feel they must have issues.

Andy Sutherland: Infuriating!

Avi Liveson: I have no idea, but if it’s a gent, try to find out which urinal he uses in public restrooms.

Cliff replied: Actually I’m pretty sure it was a lady, which, thinking about it, probably explains why ladies go in twos to the ladies.

Neil Stewart: There are a number of drivers who can only park if they can align their vehicle alongside another one. Genuinely. I have no idea what they do if they find a completely empty car park. Try to find a wall to line up with I suppose. Maybe it’s an anxiety thing, maybe they just want to make sure they’re doing the right thing, perhaps they’re in Narcotics Anonymous and white lines are triggering for them. Some people might say “these drivers shouldn’t be on the road, then” and such people would get a “well no, no they shouldn’t, should they” from me, and perhaps a mince pie. 

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This was the Poetry Foundation’s poem of the day today. It’s called “son/daughter” and is by Kai Conradi. (The spacing may be a bit screwy if you read this on your phone or a small screen.)

In a dream my dad fell

    from the top of a steep       white       mountain

          down       into a blue       crevasse
          like the space between       two waves
          where the light       shines through       just enough
          to tell you
          you will miss this life dearly.

            The falling took years.

            I could hear him moving through air       and then finally nothing.

In another dream       my dad was an angel

    his see-through body dangling in the air

            floating above me       face shimmery like tinfoil

                   and I cried and cried when he told me

I can’t come back to earth now       not ever.

                                                             When my dad told me

You will always be my daughter

                                                                        maybe it was like that.

                                                     Will I be allowed to come back to earth

                                                     and be your son?

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From The Onion:

Student Who’s Been In 3 School Shootings Starting To Think This Might Be About Him

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This is Joey. Merry Xmas. (From Rex’s pet pix) Or, to use the vernacular: woof, woof.

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Speaking of Joey, the clue at 7D today was “Dogsbody.” It’s a British term. It started out as the term for pea soup that sailors got tired of eating every day at sea, but ended up meaning “poor slob who does all the dirty work.” In the puzzle, the answer was ERRAND BOY.

For the clue “Extremely rare, facetiously,” the answer was STILL MOOING. Get it? You order your steak rare and when it comes you complain that it’s not rare enough and the waiter says, “If it were any rarer, it would still be mooing.” I was first made aware of the quip by a friend in Rochester who told the story of a waiter in England meeting such a complaint with “Sir, I’ve seen cows cooked longer than that and live.”

I think my favorite clue today was at 45A: “[womp, womp].” Answer: SAD TROMBONE.

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That’s my grandniece Maeven on the right. She’s saying: “The Epstein files? Not in our lifetimes.”

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Let’s close with a pretty face. The clue at 42D was “Day at the movies.” Answer: DORIS, of course. Doris Day’s name at birth was Doris Kappelhoff. Born in Cincy, she died at the age of 97 in California. She had one child, a son, Terry Melcher, who died at the age of 62 in 2004, fifteen years before Doris passed. Terry was a music producer who worked a bit with the Beach Boys but was best known for producing the Byrds’ two big first albums: Mr. Tambourine Man, and Turn! Turn! Turn! It was he who made the decision to go with three “Turns!” rather than two or four. (No it wasn’t.)

Before we go on to chat a bit about Melcher, here’s a nice shot Phil got for us of Doris Day.

Wait. Phil, you sure that’s Doris?

Anyway, Melcher’s girlfriend was the actress Candice Bergen (yes, that one) when he met Charles Manson (yes, that one) via Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys. Manson was an aspiring musician before he was a homicidal maniac. Two of his songs were recorded by the Beach Boys. Melcher auditioned Manson but decided not to work with him. After Melcher and Bergen moved to a new home, Roman Polanski and Sharon Tate moved in to their old home and it was there that the Manson murders took place. Manson may have been motivated in part by anger at being rejected by Melcher, but he should have known Melcher had moved so the connection is unclear.

Melcher continued a successful career and later co-wrote the Beach Boys hit Kokomo. He stayed close with his mom his whole life. He co-produced the cable show Doris Day’s Best Friends, and worked as the director of the Doris Day Animal Foundation. Woof woof.

Sharon Tate was only 26 when she was murdered. Looks a little like Pam Bondi, no?

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See you tomorrow Chatterheads!