On my fiftieth birthday, twenty-six years ago today, I slipped on our icy front steps and fell on my fat tuchas with a painful thud. Alright, I thought. It’s starting. My “back nine,” as the golfers say.

Now birthdays seem like little personal Yom Kippurs to me. In the ten-day period between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur the Big Fella reviews your record and decides whether to give you another year. And if it’s thumbs down, God forbid, He works out the specifics. “Who by fire? Who by water?” In my case, it’s “by bladder? by lungs? by heart?”

Oy. Here’s hoping we get another round.

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The puzzle today — my birthday puzzle! — defeated me! D’oh! Curse you Kyle Dolan! My downfall came at the cross of 25A/25D. “Nimble, zigzagging maneuver.” Answer: JINK. WTF?? And “Shortest-reigning English monarch (9 days).” Do you really think the 9 days will help anyone? It was JANE GREY. Who?

But at least we got a pretty face in the grid, if tainted. “White House partner, for short,” was FLOTUS. Malaria, of course. Hey Girl: You may want to stay out of Minny for a bit. Unless you like the smell of tear gas in the morning.

Here’s egs on the topic: We’re fed up with FLOTUS and POTUS and SCOTUS — and you can QUOTUS!

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Birthday celebrations will take place on the ice tonight as the Princeton Women Tigers take on Harvard at 6pm. Here’s forward Hannah Fetterolf.

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Closing the shop early today. Heading down to DC for a few days. Big Sirens game on Sunday. Broadcasting may be spotty. Thanks for stopping in!

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