The Wellington Files

  • It’s a Trap!

    This piece from tomorrow’s Met Diary was shared by Katie Bucaccio.

    Dear Diary:

    It was summer 2014, and I was in my twenties. I was subletting a tiny, windowless bedroom in South Williamsburg.

    One August morning, the heat was so oppressive in that little room that I left the shift dress I was wearing unzipped as I got ready for work, intending to zip up right before leaving.

    The commute into Manhattan for what was my first real 9-to-5 job included a 20-minute walk to the Bedford Avenue L station. I was always drenched by the time I got there.

    When the train finally pulled in that morning, riders were packed in like sardines. I squeezed my way into a car, and we rumbled off through the tunnel.

    “Excuse me,” I heard a man behind me say.

    The car was too crowded for me to turn around to face him, but I glanced over my shoulder to see that he was about my age.

    “Your dress is unzipped,” he said.

    My cheeks, already flushed from the heat, got redder as I blushed from embarrassment. I tried to reach behind me, but I couldn’t grasp the zipper.

    “Do you want me to . . . ?” he asked tentatively.

    “Oh, yes. If you don’t mind,” I said. “Thank you.”

    He zipped me up, and we rode silently the rest of the way into Manhattan.

    This is how a story in the NYT on the war in Ukraine opened today: “Sen. JD Vance outlined a peace plan to end the war in Ukraine. But objectively, it sounds a lot like Vladimir Putin’s.”

    Hmmmm. Can’t quite put my finger on what’s troubling there. Will have to give it some thought.

    Here’s a shot of Zelensky and the missus. Looking good kids!

    In the wake of Tyreek Hill’s controversial stop by the police on his way to the Dolphin’s game last week, NY Jets coach Robert Saleh gave NJ State Troopers a list of 17 members of the Jets he’d like to have pulled over and held this Sunday until the game is over.

    According to NBC news, a truck carrying over 500,000 shrimp valued at more than $300,000 was stolen in Middlesex NJ last week.

    This little fella was left behind.

    Authorities have placed all suppliers of cocktail sauce on high alert.

    There was a neat juxtaposition in the puzzle today. At 16A the clue was “Many Renaissance thinkers,” for POLYMATHS, which means “a person of great and varied learning.” That was right next to “Baseball mascot with a fluffy green snout.” (Phillie PHANATIC) He’s a Phillymath!

    At 27A the clue was “Job that anyone could see themselves doing?” And the answer was WINDOW WASHER.

    Commenter Lewis reminded us of a clue this constructor came up with back in February: It was “Wind up alone?” Answer: FLUTE SOLO.

    If you are a creative cluer, coming up with something for the answer “NYT” could be a challenge. Here’s what Christina Iverson came up with in today’s puzzle: “It once ran the headline ‘Santa Dies on Xmas Trip’: Abbr.” It wasn’t a joke story. Take a look. It’s from 1913.

    Hold on a sec, readers. I have to check on that window washer of ours. “You missed a few spots, Francois.”

    At 4D the clue was “Where the average American lives,” and the answer was ANYTOWN USA. It prompted egs to ask: Does anyone live in ANYTOWN anymore anyway?

    On this date in 1741, Handel’s Messiah was completed. Charles Jennens finished the text in July and gave it to Handel, hoping for the best. It took Handel 24 days of furious writing to complete it. It debuted in Dublin at Easter. The event attracted 700 people; to accommodate such a crowd, gentlemen were asked to leave their swords at home, and ladies were requested to remove the hoops from their skirts.

    Hey, little girl –lose that hoop if you want in.

    Matthew Spriggs of the Dull Men’s Club (UK) sang the praises of his CPAP machine for his sleep apnea. Before he got it, he would have 86 episodes an hour while he slept, in which he stopped breathing for ten seconds or more.

    Yikes! Here’s Matthew:

    Also from the DMC (UK), Dawn Stewart posted: Went to make cheese on toast this evening… on going to the condiments cupboard I failed to locate any Worcestershire sauce… I know I bought a bottle in 1993! I wasn’t aware I would need to purchase a second bottle in this lifetime!

    Mary Pickens replied: You do. Grow up.

    And the response to that was: No! It’s a trap!

    See you tomorrow!

  • Quiet Please, Ladies!

    You know that one annoying woman you see now and then whose voice just grates on you like nails on a chalkboard? Well, if you lived in Afghanistan, she wouldn’t be a problem. This is from today’s NYT: Taliban leaders published rules that, among other restrictions, make it illegal for a woman’s voice to be heard by male strangers in public.

    Wait, what? No typos up there folks. Welcome to Kabul!

    Back in the states, where Haitian immigrants are chowing down on Fido and Whiskers, Stanley Woolner, of St. Paul, MN, has come up with a solution in his letter to the Times today. We need to start arming pets!

    I think he was kidding. No, I’m sure he was kidding. Probably.

    Re: Today’s puzzle at 38A: How’s this as a clue for RAIN?: “Petrichor is the aroma produced by this.” So you know that neat smell from rain? Had no idea it has a name. It comes from petra (rocks) + ichor (the fluid that flows like blood in the veins of the Gods). It’s formed by the liquification of organic compounds.

    At 22A today, the clue was “Gets ready for the national anthem, maybe,” and the answer was RISES. The guest blogger for Rex noted that the “maybe” here is doing a lot of heavy lifting. It contains the whole issue of should you stand or not stand as a political statement. Or take a knee even (hi Colin!).

    I shared the following, on a different aspect of RISES:

    About 20 years ago, when I still went to our temple now and then, I was at a holiday service, and I noticed at one point when we were asked to stand that a woman I knew several rows ahead of me was not standing. And then I saw why. She was seated next to a little girl in a wheelchair. And to make the little girl feel less uncomfortable about not being able to stand, she stayed seated too. It was a beautiful gesture I have never forgotten.

    Great clue/answer at 50A: “It might cause some unsurprised looks.” Answer: BOTOX.

    At 52D, the clue was “2024 Charli XCX album with a lime green cover,” and the answer was BRAT. In modern pop culture, brat refers to someone who is confidently rebellious, unapologetically bold, and playfully defiant. Anyway, here you go — turn it up.

    There was a PIANO BENCH in the puzzle today, at 28D. Who the hell put that in there? It reminded me of the great Victor Borge who would, from time to time, fall off of his. I challenge you not to laugh when it occurs in this two-minutes of pure piano nonsense.

    T-shirt sold by The Onion for $29: “Jurisprudence Fetishist Gets Off On Technicality.”

    This excellent observation is from Frank Bruni’s “For the love of sentences” feature:

    In The Washington Post, Monica Hesse parsed JD Vance’s insistence that parents are intrinsically more invested in a society’s health than childless people are: “If it took having your own children to care about quality education, clean air and safe cities, then I have bad news: Parenthood didn’t make you less of a narcissist; it merely widened your umbrella of narcissism just enough to keep your own genetic offspring dry.”

    Bruni himself started off his assessment of the debate with:

    In Kamala Harris’s big general-election debate four years ago, she faced off against an opponent with a fly on his head.

    In her immeasurably bigger debate on Tuesday night, she confronted an opponent with bats inside his. And out they came, flapping and screeching, when he brought up cats and dogs.

    [OC True Confessions Dept: I stole the “Fido and Whiskers” reference, above, from Frank.]

    Let’s sign off with this note and reply from the Dull Men’s Club (UK). And please be advised that a “roundabout” is a traffic circle, and to “indicate” is to use your turn signal.

    Troy Doherty’s post:

    So whilst sat at a round about today, several cars turned off before they got to me but didn’t indicate so I didn’t go. I wonder how much time would be saved across our nation if everyone indicates at roundabouts and junctions?

    Peter Saxton’s response:

    They may have been indicating. Are you sure you weren’t just blinking in synchronisation with their indicators being in off phase of their performance?

    Thanks for popping by! See you tomorrow.

  • Steady Eddie

    We attended the Kacey Musgraves concert Monday night at the Prudential Center in Newark with, what?, 15,000 screaming fans, and came away loving her. It takes a certain gift to make a space that crazy feel intimate. Her voice is beautiful, she’s very pretty, and her love for her fans seems sincere. She cites John Prine as her most significant influence.

    If you watch Saturday Night Live, as I do not, you may have seen her perform. She’s been on several times. On Oct 2, 2021, she became the first musical act ever to perform nude on SNL. Yikes! Really?

    How great is her voice? Well, she won a national yodeling contest when she was only 13!

    We grabbed the free tix thinking, how bad could she be if she can fill that size arena? Good move.

    Owl Chatter readers may recall we spent some time on the Professional Women’s Hockey League (PWHL), which completed its first season last May with six teams. Minny beat Boston for the championship. It was a little odd for a league not to have names or logos for the teams. They said they wanted to give the fans a say in the selection. They came up with the following to start using in Season 2: Boston Fleet; Minnesota Frost; Montreal Victoire; New York Sirens; Ottawa Charge, and Toronto Sceptres.

    And here are the logos:

    We’ll have to try to get to a Sirens game next season. Last year they played some games on Long Island, in the same stadium the Islanders use, and some in Bridgeport CT. If they play Minny, we’ll get to see pretty Claire Thompson, a defensewoman. Don’t let the smile fool you — she’ll knock out your teeth without the slightest hesitation.

    Did you watch the debate? Our favorite part by far was learning that in Springfield OH Haitian immigrants are eating people’s pets. Will these depraved hoodlums stop at nothing to destroy our way of life?

    After the debate, the world’s most famous childless cat lady, Taylor Swift, in a post accompanied by a photo of her with her cat Benjamin Buttons, endorsed KH. Shortly after that photo was taken, Benjamin Buttons was eaten by a Haitian immigrant. D’oh! Serves you right, Swift.

    I loved yesterday’s puzzle. The clue for 21A was “Straightforward and unadorned, as literary prose,” and the answer was HEMINGWAYESQUE. The other two theme answers were EXECUTIVE BOARD and JFK PLAZA. Then, the clue for the “revealer” was “Group whose members are represented completely (with no repeats)” in those long answers: CONSONANTS. So what’s going on? If you take the vowels away from those three long answers, you are left with all 21 consonants in the alphabet, with each appearing only once. I know: Wow. Brilliant wordplay, IMO.

    And with a nod to yesterday’s debate, KAMALA appeared smack in the middle of the grid at 35A.

    Hey, DIANE Sawyer was in today’s puzzle. Hi DS! Lookin’ good, girl. She’s 78! Born in Kentucky and made her way to Wellesley College. Did you know she was married to Mike Nichols?

    Son Volt shared this wrenching Husker Du song called DIANE about a rape/murder victim the songwriter Grant Hart knew. It’s controversial because it’s taken from the killer’s perspective. [BTW, Husker Du was a Minnesota band and Bob Mould of the band was tickled to learn VP candidate Tim Walz is a fan.]

    When I read today’s poem in The Writer’s Almanac, I liked it. It seemed like poems by Owl Chatter’s poet laureate, Ted Kooser. Then I glanced up to see who wrote it. It’s by Ted Kooser, duh. It’s called “A Monday In May.”

    It rained all weekend,
    but today the peaked roofs
    are as dusty and warm
    as the backs of old donkeys
    tied in the sun.
    So much alike are our houses,
    our lives. Under every eave—
    leaf, cobweb, and feather;
    and for each front yard
    one sentimental maple,
    who after a shower has passed,
    weeps into her shadow
    for hours.

    In July of 1944, Sgt. Edward Kranepool, Jr., of the U.S. Army, lost his life in battle in Saint-Lô, France, during World War II. Four months later, his son, Ed Kranepool, III, was born in the Bronx. At age three, he was swinging a toy bat. Then he played ball in local playgrounds and sandlots. By the time he entered James Monroe High School, he stood 6-foot-3. Monroe was the same school Hall of Famer Hank Greenberg attended. Kranepool broke Greenberg’s single-season home run record there.

    Around the time of his graduation in 1962, the Mets were about halfway through their dreadful (40-120) first season. Kranepool attended a tryout, popped nine shots into the stands, and signed on for an $80,000 bonus. He was a Met until he retired in 1979, and still holds the record for most games played as a Met: 1,853. He hit a home run in the 1969 World Series in which the Mets upset Baltimore in five games. He was an all-star in 1965.

    In 2017, with both kidneys failing, he auctioned his 1969 Mets world championship ring for $62,475 to defray medical expenses. [Jeez Louise Mets — you couldn’t shell out?] After undergoing transplant surgery nearly two years later, he learned his donor was a Mets fan. A few months after the surgery, he helped the Mets celebrate the 50th anniversary of their World Series victory.

    “Steady Eddie” died on Sunday at his home in Boca Raton, Fla. He was 79. He is survived by countless thousands of Mets fans; his wife, Monica; his daughter, Jamie; his sons, Keith and Darren; and seven grandchildren, die-hard Mets fans, I would bet, one and all.

    Rest in peace, Eddie.

    Things got a little testy in Crossworld today. The clue at 35D was # # # and the answer was SHARPS. Commenter Chris started it. “Here to be an insufferable pedant and say that these # # # are not sharps, these ♯ ♯ ♯ are sharps. There’s unicode for them and everything!” Anony Mouse chipped in: Um actually they’re called octothorps.

    But it was Gary who blew things up with:

    “Yes Chris. You are being an insufferable pedant. It’s a crossword puzzle and this # is a clue, not a definition. What button on your keyboard do you push to create a sharp in every musical notation software? The # are sharps … and flats are b. You can make the leap to accepting this unwashed-masses approach to music by having a cocktail. And more importantly, nobody on Earth cares except other college-trained musicians and most of them are working in other industries because knowing this stuff doesn’t pay the bills. This is one of my hot button issues… music is an art form and it thrives when people aren’t trying to force it into a box.”

    Hrummmmmmph! [I’m still trying to digest the octothorps.]

    This should help — Here are some headlines from The Onion’s political coverage:

    Trump Avoids Hard Questions By Pretending He’s Shot In The Ear Again

    Trump Tries To Rattle Harris By Turning Eyelids Inside Out

    Harris Struggling To Button Pantsuit After Month of Hanging Out With Tim Walz

    Oy. Enough nonsense. See you tomorrow.

  • Chris Bater Doesn’t Know

    Fans of the NY (Football) Giants feel about yesterday’s season’s opener the same way the Dems felt about Biden’s debate performance. A disaster of epic proportions. Get the pads on, Kamala!

    Is the puzzle trying to THROW SHADE at us here at Owl Chatter? Yesterday we had DOOFUS (“Ding-dong”), and today we have CHUCKLEHEAD (“Numbskull”).

    To “throw shade” means to disrespect or insult someone in a subtle way. It was the theme of the puzzle today because “shaded” squares contained different ways of “throwing.” Chucklehead contained CHUCK. Lobster roll contained LOB. Sandcastle contained CAST; and hog heaven contained HEAVE.

    The puzzle was Monday-level easy, it seemed to me. I was able to complete it using only down clues, which is rare — I usually need at least a little help from the crosses. But one clue/answer seemed beyond Monday level. The clue was “{ }, in math.” And the answer was NULL SET. Maybe I was just absent that day? (Judy — any thoughts? Should I know that?)

    In the short time I’ve been a member of the Dull Men’s Club (UK), I’ve noticed that every post containing a question receives an answer from Chris Bater simply saying “I don’t know.” It’s kind of funny. It’s kind of his way of saying hi, I guess. It’s certainly harmless. It’s comforting in a way — he’s a consistent friendly presence. Anyway, it must have rubbed someone the wrong way because a complaint was lodged against him with the Club’s administration. In response, he received a beautiful (IMO) outpouring of support, including from moi. Here are some of the comments:

    David Fullard wrote: At almost 77 I still enjoy the freedom of expression we have. Within the parameters of legality and non offensiveness of course. Personally I welcome folk with ‘different strokes’ please let’s be open minded about harmless slightly esoteric responses.

    Scott Nathan said: I’m in the middle of writing a coffee table book filled with his plethora of knowledge and wisdom. He’s becoming somewhat of a legend in my life. [When asked what the title will be, Scott said, “At the moment, I don’t know.]

    Kriss MacHenry: It’s his catchphrase. He’s a legend in my house.

    Treasaigh Dubhthaigh: It makes me laugh, — well, it’s more of a dull chortle, but still…

    Angela Barrow: Always a pleasure to hear from Chris Bater, never a chore. Long may he not know ✊️

    Listen to this! — Andrew Rainford wrote: I once challenged the Great Man to ‘go on Chris, have a guess’ when he pronounced uncertainty on a particular topic. His reply excoriated me by its succinctness and wisdom. What I took from it is that Chris Bater doesn’t go in for frivolous guessing.

    And Chris himself replied to that with “correct.”

    This is what I posted: Sometimes “I don’t know” is the best answer. I had a law partner who would make things up to tell clients to avoid admitting he didn’t know something. He was — what’s the word? — an idiot. And eventually got into trouble. People should respect an admission that you don’t know something. Nobody has perfect knowledge. Plus, it’s funny in this context, here in our beloved club. We need more humor in this world.

    Chris himself posted a lovely note: Thank you All for your kind words and support.

    Anybody hear of Kacey Musgraves? No? She’s a singer/songwriter who won a Grammy for Best Country Album about ten years ago, and six more since then. She just released her sixth studio album. She’s 36, from Texas, and divorced.

    Needless to say, living under my rock, the name meant nothing to me. But that’s all ending tonight at 7:30, assuming I can haul my tuchas over to the Prudential Center in Newark. Some nice folks from Hunter can’t make it, so they made their tix available, and I grabbed them. Full report to follow. (No matter how horrible she may be, it can’t be worse than watching the Jets game.) Here she is from a big feature on her in Elle three years ago. Jeez Louise — another knockout.

    See you tomorrow!

  • Colorado Oranges

    Welcome everybody to Owl Chatter’s post #600. Hard to believe. It seems like just yesterday we were putting #599 to bed. Wait — that was yesterday. Never mind.

    It’ll be a quiet celebration — just us and the owls. George is on leave dealing with his legal problems and Phil is still out West sucking up to Chloe and Kate, and who could blame him? We’ll have a cold Fiddlehead IPA later; there are still a few in the fridge from our trip up to Vermont in June. (Hi Lizzie!)

    Here — there’s one for you too, reader.

    Truth be told, if Georgie were here, he’d probably make us spring for champagne. But Janelle MONAE was in the puzzle today, and, seriously, I just don’t go for that champagne sh*t.

    Yeah, I like all my kisses French
    When I’m on my champagne shit
    Everybody turnin’ ’round takin’ them pics
    ‘Cause I’m on my champagne shit

    Don’t ask me shit about work
    ‘Cause I’m on my champagne shit
    I’m talkin’ high heels and no shirts
    ‘Cause I’m on my champagne shit

    You tell ’em, girl!

    The puzzle’s theme today was milestones of life in a cutesy fun way. So for “Age 1,” e.g., the answer was AMATEUR STANDING. Get it? A one-year-old is an amateur at standing (up). And “Age 21” was BAR ADMISSION. That’s the age you can start drinking at bars. But the one at “Age 100” really set Rex off. The answer was CENTENNIAL STATE. I.e., when you are 100 you are in the state of being 100. Here’s Rex:

    Of all the “___ State” nicknames, The CENTENNIAL STATE has to be the least well known / most obscure. Looking up a lot of state nicknames right now and I’ve at least heard of many of these: First State (Delaware), Palmetto State (South Carolina). Turns out lots of states are named after their state university mascots (or, more likely, vice versa): Tarheel State, Cornhusker State, etc. But CENTENNIAL STATE? That’s a state nickname only dogs and hardcore Coloradophiles can hear.

    That made it appropriate for me to share this story (which some of you may know) with the Rex gang.

    Many years ago, I was visiting my friends Robert and Susan in Vermont. When I arrived, they offered me a drink and asked if I was hungry. Then they offered me a Colorado orange and we all laughed. Except for me, because I had no idea what they were taking about. So they told me this story.

    Several days earlier Susan was heading out to shop for groceries and she asked Robert if there was anything he wanted her to pick up. Yes, he said, get some more oranges. And make sure you get the Colorado oranges: I had one earlier and it was delicious. Susan said Okay and walked out towards the car but came back in and said: I thought oranges only come from Florida and California.

    Robert said, So did I, but I checked to make sure, and it said Colorado on it.

    Susan said, Let’s check again. So they rooted through the garbage and found the discarded orange peel. On it, clearly stamped in red lettering, it said COLOR ADDED.

    Ever since then, when I offer Linda an orange, I call it a Colorado orange. It never gets old. Here’s one now, below!

    (BTW, a nice comment from Aelurus thanked me for the laugh.)

    In his writeup today, Rex mentioned that he has stayed away from all TV coverage of politics since the 2016 election. (It was in connection with his noting that he didn’t know that the “political analyst WALKER” at 72A was AMY.) And a commenter who calls him or herself ncmathsadist wrote: “Your abstention from TV coverage of politics is wise. There is much sanewashing of Trump’s incoherent and utterly irrational gibberings.”

    I hadn’t heard the term “sanewashing” before. It’s brilliant, no?

    And this is Amy Walker, formerly of the NYT:

    If you enjoy wordplay you should know that a palindrome is a word or phrase that reads the same in both directions. A famous one, spoken to Eve no doubt, is “Madam, I’m Adam.” A semordnilap is a word or phrase that you can read backwards as a different word. A semordnilap is itself a semordnilap because it spells palindromes backwards.) Anyway, commenter Andrew shared this wonderful and amazing takeoff on Bob Dylan’s Subterranean Homesick Blues with every line (every line!) a palindrome, most of them new to me. It’s by Weird Al Yankovic, whose stock just went way up in my portfolio.

    See you tomorrow!

  • Sandolino

    This poem, below, is by Ada Limón, an American poet, born in Sonoma, CA. She’s 48 and was the first Latina U.S. Poet Laureate. (She is of Mexican descent.) It’s called “Calling Things What They Are” and was today’s Poem of the Day of The Poetry Foundation.

    I pass the feeder and yell, Grackle party! And then an hour later I yell, Mourning dove afterparty! (I call the feeder the party and the seed on the ground the afterparty.) I am getting so good at watching that I’ve even dug out the binoculars an old poet gave me back when I was young and heading to the Cape with so much future ahead of me it was like my own ocean. Tufted titmouse! I yell, and Lucas laughs and says, Thought so. But he is humoring me; he didn’t think so at all. My father does this same thing. Shouts out at the feeder announcing the party attendees. He throws out a whole peanut or two to the Stellar’s jay who visits on a low oak branch in the morning. To think there was a time I thought birds were kind of boring. Brown bird. Gray bird. Black bird. Blah blah blah bird. Then, I started to learn their names by the ocean, and the person I was dating said, That’s the problem with you, Limón, you’re all fauna and no flora. And I began to learn the names of trees. I like to call things as they are. Before, the only thing I was interested in was love, how it grips you, how it terrifies you, how it annihilates and resuscitates you. I didn’t know then that it wasn’t even love that I was interested in, but my own suffering. I thought suffering kept things interesting. How funny that I called it love and the whole time it was pain.

    There was a flood of inquiries about Chloe Grace Moretz after we posted her photo from the cover of Teen Vogue yesterday. (Well, there was none, actually, but so what?) So we checked in with our beauty consultant Ana who confirmed that, yup, she’s the real thing — a knockout among knockouts. Phil flew right out to get us some photos.

    Moretz is 27 and was born in Atlanta. She has appeared in quite a few roles, including starring in Scorcese’s Hugo, working with Tim Burton in Dark Shadows, and appearing in 30 Rock.

    Moretz has two gay brothers and is an active supporter of LGBTQ rights. She was active in Hilary’s campaign in 2016, and spoke at the Dem’s convention that year. She is not married but, sorry fellas, she’s in a long-term relationship with model Kate Harrison, forming sort of a Ruth/Gehrig beauty combination.

    And here’s Kate Harrison. OMG, Philly — you’ve outdone yourself! Please let the girls know they are always welcome at Owl Chatter, day or night. I’m sure they’re in Jersey often. I’ll pick up some Diet Pepsi.

    Todays’ puzzle was a real bear. I passed through it several times and got nowhere. When that happens you have to shoot for what Lewis calls a “faith solve.” You get little toeholds where you can and just have to have faith that some squares will fill themselves in. Hacking away got me pretty much through it eventually, but I crashed in the southeast, where I had MEH instead of MID for “Mediocre, in modern slang,” and had no idea DONGLE is a “Computer accessory,” or that POCO means “Somewhat, musically.”

    Rex rated it “easy-medium.” Damn him!

    Right off the bat at 1A the clue was “Labor tactic.” I filled in STRIKE. Turned out to be LAMAZE. Yeah, that kind of labor.

    I had no hope for 31A, but the crosses gave it to me. The clue was “Methods for sharing pirated material,” and the answer was BIT TORRENTS. WTF? I did better with 29A where “Deep fears?” was SEA SERPENTS, not all of which are scary, btw.

    At 7A, the clue was “Ding-dong” and the answer was DOOFUS.

    Are you familiar with the term “Apologue” from 20A? Me neither. I thought it might be in the prologue/epilogue family, but it means FABLE. I got it from the crosses, but it still made me feel like a doofus.

    At 17D the clue was “Levels of corporate hierarchy, so to speak,” and the answer was LADDER RUNGS. Here’s a good tune by a band that was new to me called Slobberbone, courtesy of Son Volt.

    Here’s a story from tomorrow’s Met Diary that reminded me of how Linda and I met, sans cigarettes — at a restaurant in the Village no longer open called Sandolino.

    It’s by Robin Kornhaber.

    Dear Diary:

    I was having cappuccino at Cafe Borgia on Bleeker Street 40 years ago. It was summer, and I was sitting inside the cafe. The windows were open.

    Outside the one near me, two men were talking and smoking cigarettes. One had red hair and was very cute. When his friend stepped away, I leaned out the window and asked if I could have a cigarette.

    He offered me the pack. I took one, and he lit it for me. His friend soon returned, and they resumed their conversation.

    When I was ready to leave, I stopped at their table and suggested we get a drink at Jimmy Day’s a few blocks away.

    We did. His friend eventually left for the Bronx and a year later the redhead and I were married.

    P.S. I had never smoked before and never did again.

    Let’s close tonight with an item from the Dull Men’s Club (UK) that had me laughing out loud. The post was by James “Fozzy” Foster and it said: You know that annoying grease proof paper that comes on the spread.. well today I opened up a pot of clover (other brands are available but clover is best) and there was no paper! Had to clean the lid off before I put it back on…

    Adam Chapman opined: Clover is not best, you absolute heathen!

    And James Spoore explained: My apols. if I m being even more dull than usual, but a factoid: Clover have been announcing for some months that the paper liner was about to be discontinued….

    But it was Kevin Austen who got me roaring. He noted: Looks like Gustav Klimt’s “The Kiss.”

    Yup. I can see it if I squint.

    Let’s make it a goodnight kiss. See you tomorrow!

  • Kia Ora

    Posting late tonight because we sat for Caity’s kids so she and Danny could attend a wedding of one of Danny’s several zillion cousins. We watched a not-too-bad kids movie about emojis — pretty clever — Steven Wright was the voice of the “meh” emoji. And then, miraculously, they all went to bed without much of a fight by nine. Dinner was pizza (voo den?).

    Don’t mope. Here’s a poem about anagrams. It’s “Anagrammer,” by Peter Pereira, from The Poetry Foundation.

    If you believe in the magic of language,
    then Elvis really Lives
    and Princess Diana foretold I end as car spin.

    If you believe the letters themselves
    contain a power within them,
    then you understand
    what makes outside tedious,
    how desperation becomes a rope ends it.

    The circular logic that allows senator to become treason,
    and treason to become atoners.

    That eleven plus two is twelve plus one,
    and an admirer is also married.

    That if you could just rearrange things the right way
    you’d find your true life,
    the right path, the answer to your questions:
    you’d understand how the Titanic
    turns into that ice tin,
    and debit card becomes bad credit.

    How listen is the same as silent,
    and not one letter separates stained from sainted.

    The clue at 60D today was “‘Kia ___’ (New Zealand greeting),” and the answer was ORA. Rex’s wife is from New Zealand and he said you would hear this phrase a lot if you flew Air New Zealand. It’s not just a way to say hello. It’s much deeper. It’s beautiful.

    Here’s a song Son Volt shared with us called “Look at Miss Ohio.” I don’t know what in the puzzle led him to think of it, but I’m glad he did. The puzzles, and Rex’s little group, have opened me up to learn so much new stuff. If I had to devise an adult ed course, I think I’d have it be on the daily NYTXW, and maybe puzzles from some other sources. The students would be assigned to do the puzzles at their level and share something (or things) they learned from it: Maybe a celeb they hadn’t heard of, or a song, or a new word — whatever. Nothing would be planned in advance — it would be entirely based on what happens to be in the puzzles during the week.

    Anyway, so where was I? Oh, yeah — This song is haunting.

    “I wanna do right, but not right now.”

    The puzzle was constructed by Adrian Johnson. It had a stack of three answers spanning the entire grid right in the middle. PORTRAIT ARTISTS (“Rembrandt and Sargent, notably”); IT MEANS A LOT TO ME (“‘Much appreciated’”); and THAT WASN’T MY IDEA (“Line from a blame-shifter”). One right on top of the other.

    On that middle one, Okanaganer wrote: Each year my sister goes to a lot of trouble to make a custom birthday card for me. Last year the back of it had this witty note: “Thank you for teaching me the meaning of ‘plethora’. It means a lot!”

    And Lewis brought us this gift — a note Adrian wrote in the “constructor’s notes” when a different puzzle of his was accepted by the Times last January.

    “The day I received the review proof of this puzzle was also the day my grandfather died.

    “Normally I’d have a profound puzzle insight to share, but what’s on my mind today is gratitude — for the time I spent with him, but particularly for the friendship Alvin, a dear family friend, forged with him during his final years.

    “Alvin, who began as his landscaper, first came by as a casual friend after grandpa’s hip replacement, continuing to come over regularly during the 11 years that grandpa outlived my grandma. Alvin’s visits often took the shape of coffee and conversation after dropping his kids off at school. They discussed things including family, life, hobbies and current events. Some days grandpa would invite Alvin for steak dinners, but other days they’d barely speak and spend the morning watching the news.

    “The important thing was his presence: the conscious, routine decision to be involved and engaged, and to make the mundane life of an old man meaningful. Tonight, this morning, whenever you’re reading this, take a few minutes to say hello and check in with someone older whom you care about. Those hellos can make all the difference.”

    To end with a pretty face, here’s Chloe Grace Moretz, on the cover of TEEN VOGUE. The publication was in the puzzle clued with “Youth-centric magazine spinoff.” Rex referred to it as “a force for good.” And who am I to quibble.

    See you tomorrow!

  • Curled Up With An Earl

    Zebras and donkeys are both in the horse family. They hardly ever date, let alone have kids together, but when they do, a cross between them is called a ZEDONK. That was the answer today at 12D. A zedonk can also be called a zonkey, zenkey, or, my favorite (for obvious reasons), a zebrass.

    Here’s a cute baby zedonk.

    I enjoyed this exchange in the Dull Men’s Club (UK) today. Bobby Tables posted a photo of a woman he called Sporty Spice and asked a question about a big mug that was behind her in the photo. He wondered whether it was a Wassailing mug, frog mug, or some other kind.

    I have no idea what the hell he’s talking about and don’t care. But Andy Spragg asked why he was calling her “Sporty Spice.” So Neil Christie explained: She’s a member of a girl group called the Spice Girls, and her band name was Sporty Spice.

    Spragg came back with:  Well, blow me down. I’d never have recognised her in a million years .😲 Christie noted that she’s 50 now. And Spragg said: even so… I’d have expected her to retain some vestigial recognisability!

    Vestigial recognisability — wow!

    In looking into the expression “curled up with a book” today, Rex ran into “curled up with an earl.” Turns out that’s the name of a steamy romance novel. (It was praised by the author of “Up All Night with a Good Duke.”)

    And the upshot is we get to hear this song he shared by Justin Townes Earle called “Hudson River Blues.” Turn it up.

    At 63A, “Crane lookalike” was HERON. Commenter kitshef took issue with there being a resemblance, but the consensus in the sites I visited agree with the puzzle that they look alike, although they are not related. The best way to tell them apart is by their necks — a crane’s is straight, while a heron’s is curled. Here’s a heron.

    And here’s a crane.

    BTW, I shared my info about the zedonk with the Dull Men’s Club, along with the cute photo, and Steven Varney noted: “There are two at Huttoft donkey sanctuary, betwixt Skegness and Mablethorpe. Very friendly, love carrots and ginger biscuits.” I replied: Who doesn’t?

    Look for Taylor to be at the NFL opener tonight, with the Chiefs facing off against the Ravens in KC. She’s on a break from touring. What else has she got to do?

    See you tomorrow!

  • Cheeky Beggars

    Zeeshan Aleem of MSNBC took public notice of Trump’s “deteriorating ability to clearly communicate.” His speeches “seem to be growing more discursive and difficult to comprehend by the day.” [BTW, I don’t know what “discursive” means.] A reporter for The Guardian pointed out that attendees at Trump’s rallies are leaving as he rambles for nearly two hours, and complaining that he is “babbling.”

    For his part, Trump says his wandering speech is deliberate. He calls it “the weave.” “I’ll talk about, like, nine different things, and they all come back brilliantly together, and it’s like, and friends of mine that are, like, English professors, they say, ‘It’s the most brilliant thing I’ve ever seen.’”

    Are these English professors, like, close friends?

    For those of you who don’t have friends who are English professors, this is what they look like:

    Here’s the girl kind.

    The late John McCain’s son Jimmy, pictured below with his dad, switched from Republican to Democrat this week and is supporting Harris. He enlisted in the Marine Corps at 17 and is now an intelligence officer in the Arizona Army National Guard. He made the change because of Trump’s recent disrespectful conduct at Arlington National Cemetery, which McCain said was torture to watch. He later conceded that may have been a poor choice of words.

    We had to send George Santos of our staff a note asking him to get his crap out of the Owl Chatter Hall of Fame. (The girl can shop — we’ll give him that.) We need to make room for its newest member, Amanda Jones, 46, a middle school librarian in Watson, LA, a small town near Baton Rouge in which she grew up and has lived her whole life.

    Two years ago members of the public were invited to comment at a town meeting on banning books from the library. Jones spoke first, and argued that libraries need to reflect a broad range of ideas. “Just because you don’t want to read it or see it does not give you the right to deny others or demand its relocation,” she said. “If we remove or relocate books with L.G.B.T.Q. or sexual health content, what message is that sending to our community members?”

    In response, a group called Citizens for a New Louisiana — which, according to its website, is seeking “to remove taxpayer-funded pornography, erotica, and gender dysphoria propaganda from the children’s section of library systems” — posted a photo of Jones and asked, “Why is she fighting so hard to keep sexually erotic and pornographic materials in the kids’ section?” Another message accused Jones of “advocating teaching anal sex to 11-year-olds.”

    A relentless flood of abuse and threats, including death threats, followed. She carries mace and a handgun now, and can no longer live a normal life in her community. She has her groceries delivered and cannot eat out in restaurants. She recognized the names of some of the people who shared negative posts about her — people she had known since kindergarten, parents of her former students, members of her church, people she thought of as friends.

    None of that should surprise any readers of Owl Chatter, amirite? God bless America. What makes her story different, and why we are making space in our Hall of Fame for her, is that she is fighting back. Oh, I’m sorry — here’s what she looks like. Hi Babe.

    So, where were we? Oh, yeah. Jones filed a defamation lawsuit against two individuals and Citizens for a New Louisiana. She co-founded Louisiana Citizens Against Censorship, which lobbies against book-banning legislation. And she’s speaking out via her memoir, “That Librarian,” which Bloomsbury published last month.

    “Before all this, I was just a school librarian, but they wanted to silence me, so I thought I would do the exact opposite and become an activist.” Well, AJ, Santos should have his crap out by the weekend — so please settle into our Hall of Fame after that. Take your time. You like Fresca?

    The Chicago White Sox are having one hell of a season. They just had a ten-game homestand in which they won, let’s see — none of the games. And that’s only the third-longest losing streak they’ve had. Over the past 45 games their record is 4-41, the worst stretch like that by any team in over 100 years. They are on pace to finish 36-126, out-losing the modern era record-holding 1962 Mets by six games.

    I love this particular stat: When they lost a real nail-biter to Baltimore on Monday 13-3, it marked the 20th straight game they lost that pitcher Chris Flexen started. That set the single-pitcher loss-streak record for the modern era (post-1900).

    “Every time I take the ball, I expect myself to go out and be competitive, have strong outings,” Flexen said. “I don’t think a lot of them have been all that great, a couple of quality starts in there; but overall, my performance has been very disappointing on my end.”

    Ya think?

    We’re trying to find out why he’s smiling (and get some).

    At 15A today, “Top pilot” was AIR ACE. Commenter OldCarFudd shared the following: In World War I there were these new dashing heroes who dueled one-on-one in the sky. An ace was one who scored five enemy planes downed. The U.S. top ace was Eddie Rickenbacker, who went on to start Eastern Airlines. The absolute Ace of Aces was the German Manfried von Richtofen, known as the Red Baron for the color of the plane he flew (he had a choice). He had something like 21 kills. He was so well-respected that, when he finally was killed over territory occupied by our side, his body was flown back to a German airfield under a truce agreement with full honors. He lives on today as Snoopy’s nemesis in Peanuts.

    The small northeast corner today is made up of NAP, UZI, and RUN. They can be used together in a sentence as follows: If you want me to get up from my NAP to RUN, you’re going to need an UZI.

    At 26A, a “Spiral-horned antelope” was an ELAND. I was delighted to see it because Owl Chatter friend Vermont Liz has been known to use it as her Wordle starter on occasion. So that’s exactly what I did today and came in with a nice three!

    From our fashion department: At 32A the clue was “Garment that might have a built-in bra, for short” and the answer was CAMI. That’s twice this week, I think. Who knows what moves the puzzle gods? We even learned today that there is something called a “cropped cami.”

    Graham King has a question about some new carpeting that was just installed. He’s asking for advice from the Dull Men’s Club membership. Here’s his very British post, with a photo:

    Nearly completed the redecorating, we went for grayish carpet. It’s how we roll, but it has an end of roll line in it. Didn’t order end of line, getting told just hoover it out. Now as a dull bloke with a kids mind it doesn’t bother me, it’s an outline of a train track in my mind. But my better half is fuming. Tomorrow beds are coming and being a dull bloke of an easy life persuasion I would live with it. My wife is all for stopping everything and have the carpet removed and start again. Any carpet experts amongst you with thoughts on if this will bounce out or have they been cheeky beggars?

    Now, if you know anything about the Club’s membership, you know they will never turn a deaf eye or a blind ear to a member’s cry for help. Graham’s post generated 122 comments (so far).

    Andrew Hall wrote: Its just a pole line. It will work its self out 🙂 trust me im a carpet person. But Dan Cobb wrote: With those grammatical mistakes I wouldn’t trust you. Bruce Parker, who ran a flooring company for 30 years, said Hoovering will eventually get it out, and several folks suggested steaming it out. Several said to ice it. Mike Geraghty said to just not look at it. Peter Bell said: Paint over it with a professional carpet paint like average brown; if it doesn’t match do the rest of the carpet. Sam Mead suggested divorce.

    Tim Jones said: Looks fine to me.

    But Kate Viscardi was having none of any of that. “I’m with your wife, and you can’t just put a bed over it either. Cheek of the shop, charging you full whack for end of roll.”

    Wendy Stone added: Trust me, as a woman I know how bad your life could become if you do nothing.

    As far as I’m concerned, Geoff Jenkins had the final word: It will bother you till your dying day.

    Yup. Been there.

    Enough. See you tomorrow!

  • Maths

    Here’s the headline: Neighbor Caught With His Pants Down In Murder At Nudist Village.

    It’s a dreadful story, but here’s the naked truth. Stephanie and Dan Menard, 73 and 79, respectively, went missing from their home last week along with their dog Cuddles. Redlands (CA) Police received a tip that foul play was involved and arrested a neighbor, Michael Sparks, 62, for murder. The Menards were living in a nudist community. Sparks was found hiding underneath his home.

    The Menards have not been found. Police suspect their bodies are hidden somewhere on the Sparks property. The police are unable to provide a description of clothing the Menards were wearing, for obvious reasons, but have advised residents that, for identification purposes, Mr. Menard was suffering from a large boil on his tuchas.

    Here’s Cuddles. Hope he’s okay.

    The puzzle’s theme today was pretty sharp. The revealer was TWO PARTY SYSTEMS. And at four places, there was an answer that was a type of party, and within it, circled letters (in correct order) gave you a second type of party. Hence, the “two parties.” So, e.g., at 17A the clue was “Brand of kitchen storage containers.” The answer was TUPPERWARE, and the squares in which the letters T, E, and A appear were circled. So you have Tupperware parties and tea parties.

    At 24A, the clue was “The second ‘S’ of U.S.S.R.” So the answer was SOCIALIST and the C, A, S, and T were circled. So you get the Socialist party and a cast party.

    My favorite was at 50A. The clue was “When the skeletons in one’s closet might be brought out.” The answer was HALLOWEEN, and the letters H, E, and N were circled. So you get a Halloween party and a hen party. (Egs said he always wanted to crash a hen party but was too chicken.)

    At 32D the clue for GYM was “Student-run class?” (Get it? It’s a class in which students run.)

    The puzzle also gave us this: the clue at 46D: “You Belong With Me” singer. (It’s the song Taylor won the award for that Kanye wrecked by trampling on the presentation.) She gets the guy in it. He plays football too — how prescient — check it out. High drama.

    Jo Powell shared a maths question from her daughter’s homework with the Dull Men’s Club (UK). (She also said it’s called “maths” where she is — not math.)

    The question was “How many thirds are there in 12?” It split the club into two groups. The first one (which I joined at first, but see the point of both) said 36. If there are three thirds in one, there would be 36 in twelve. But a second reading emerged that gave the answer 3. To that group the 12 is irrelevant and the question is either a trick or poorly phrased. They maintain every number (and every thing) has three thirds, by definition. So since anything has three thirds 12 would have three thirds too.

    Is your brain hurting yet? Steve Pratt added: I could make a case for infinity since each third consists of another three thirds, and so on.

    This exchange was representative (there were over 350 comments in total).

    David Povey said: What is a third of 12? (4) How many 4’s (a third of 12) are in 12? (3). The question is ambiguous as it does not state a third of what, just how many of them are in 12.

    And Lee Bourke replied: It’s not ambiguous. A third is always referring to a third of 1 (a whole), which is 0.333…. 12 divided by a third is 36. It’s only if you don’t understand maths that you get a different answer.

    So there.

    I think I’ll go watch that Taylor Swift video again now.

    See you tomorrow.