The Wellington Files

  • The Mick

    The puzzle’s theme today was the seven days of the week. It’s special for me because it was the last of those things that my Sam mastered when he was little. He knew all the colors and was good with numbers, but he was always asking me things like, “Dad, does Thursday come before Friday?” I told him he’d be calling me up from med school one day to ask “Is Tuesday after Monday?”

    In any event, the seven long theme answers started with SUN, MON, TUE, etc. My favorite was the one for MON. The clue was “Hollywood’s Ricardo or Paolo,” and the answer was MONTALBAN. Who doesn’t remember Ricardo intoning “rich Corinthian leather?” Rex posted it for us:

    I had no idea who Paolo Montalban is. He’s a Filipino actor who starred as the Prince in Disney’s film Cinderella. Handsome enough for you?

    Since the days of the week number 7, it inspired commenter Lewis to share the following:

    “Then I started thinking of the number seven, and went down a rabbit hole on that front. Well, more like a rabbit divot, but still, some satisfying treasure:
    • It’s a lucky number in our culture; unlucky in Vietnam.
    • The number 999,999 can be divided by it.
    • Colors in the rainbow, continents, seas, hills in Rome, dwarfs, and… find of the day!… the number of spots most commonly found on ladybugs!”

    I added the following:

    “As long as we are noodling around with #7, let’s not forget Mickey Mantle, may he rest in peace. I was at the Stadium one day in 1963 (I think); Mantle had been out for months with a broken leg. It was late in the second game of a doubleheader (common back then). For some reason, there was a rustling roar starting up in what remained of the crowd. Then I saw why: Mantle had stepped into the on-deck circle to pinch hit. It was to be his first at-bat in months. The love was palpable in the Bronx. He stepped up to the plate, batting righty, I remember. His home run sailed about eight rows back over the low left-field railing. He was still limping a bit as he rounded the bases. I went to a lot of games when I was a kid, but that may be my fondest memory.

    “After The Mick passed away, the Yankees held a day in his honor. Correct me if I’m wrong and anybody remembers, but the winning lottery number in NY that day (randomly determined) came up all 7’s.”

    I was today years old when I learned that Mantle was originally assigned uniform #6 as an honor. He was expected to excel so he was given the number next in line after Ruth (3), Gehrig (4), and DiMaggio (5). But he got off to a slow start and was sent down to KC for 40 games (the minors then). By the time Mantle returned, Bobby Brown had rejoined the team (from military service) and reclaimed #6. Mantle was given #7 when he was finally recalled. Last point on The Mick — the expression “tape-measure home run” came about as the result of a mammoth Mantle dinger in 1953. One of the announcers that day coined the phrase. It’s still in use 70 years later.

    Pop star NATASHA Bedingfield was in the puzzle at 50A today, and I had no idea who she is. She’s British and 41 years old. She is active in efforts to halt human trafficking.

    If you have trouble opening pill bottles, it may be the fault of James W. Lewis who died last Sunday in Cambridge, MA, at age 76. He was the prime suspect, although never charged, in the Tylenol/cyanide scare that killed seven people in the Chicago area back in 1982, and led to changes in how medications are packaged.

    Lewis was convicted of extortion for a letter he wrote to Johnson & Johnson saying he would stop the killing if they paid him $1 million. He was excoriated for trying to take advantage of the poisonings but there was not enough evidence to charge him with committing them. The FBI continued to eye him suspiciously, however, for the rest of his life and the crime has not been solved.

    And get this —

    In 1978, Lewis was charged with murdering Raymond West, a 72-year-old man from Kansas City, who hired him as an accountant. West’s dismembered and decomposed body was found hanging from a pulley in his attic the same day Lewis tried to cash a forged check on West’s account. The case was dismissed after the judge found that the police did not inform Lewis of his rights at the time of his arrest. D’oh!

    I ask you, Owl Chatter readers — Does this look like the face of a heartless killer?

    Yeah, pretty much, I’d say.

    Opening day for my summer class tomorrow! Can’t wait! See you later — thanks for stopping by.

  • Don’t @ Me

    We’ve seen nouns turn into verbs, e.g., gift. “After Tom gifted his cherished record collection to Sally, she dumped it in the trash.” And sandwich: “Two fat people sandwiched Peggy into the narrow space between them.”

    But did you ever hear of a typographical symbol becoming a verb? That’s what’s happened to @, according to LMS, based on no less of an authority than Merriam-Webster (not to be confused with Miriam Weintraub, who went to high school with me, a lovely girl).

    The following is lifted from LMS’s note on the puzzle today:

    AT has become a full-on verb. See below from Merriam-Webster:

    at transitive verb, informal

    : to respond to, challenge, or disparage the claim or opinion of (someone) —usually used in the phrase don’t @ me.

    It goes without saying that Lucille Ball’s comedic timing is unmatched—don’t @ me, you’ll be wrong. —Matt Brennan

    I’ll cut right to the chase: Men should be able to wear makeup, don’t at me. —Carine Green

    What’s really cool is that we have a typographical symbol that has been promoted to verbship. If you’re thinking about @ing me your disgust, remember I didn’t cause this – just reporting the facts people.

    The puzzle’s theme today was a play on magazine names. E.g., where the clue was “Got any celebrity magazines?” “Alas, we’re …”, the answer was SHORT A FEW PEOPLE. And “Got any news magazines?” “Sorry, we’re …,” STRAPPED FOR TIME.

    Joaquin noted:

    Speaking of magazines …
    Back in the Cold War era, my uncle lived in Washington, D.C. and he had a large collection of old “National Geographic” magazines. Rather than toss them, he ran a newspaper ad offering to give them away. He received an immediate telephone inquiry from the Russian Embassy. This was followed up by a visit from the FBI wanting to know why he was talking with the Russians.

    Remember these eyes? Hard to forget. She was an Afghan refugee on the June, 1985 cover.

    DON HO paid a visit to the puzzle today, clued as the “Tiny Bubbles” crooner. egsforbreakfast said he liked Don’s brother GUNG better. He also noted it’s not “futile” to look for both FETAL and FATAL in the puzzle because they both were there, the former as a “position,” and the latter as a “flaw.” He claims a secondary definition of “fetal” in Merriam-Webster is  “Of, or pertaining to, Greek cheese,” but I’m pretty sure he’s kidding.

    Speaking of kidding:

    From Lianna today: Did you know that the average frog can jump higher than the Eiffel Tower? That is because the Eiffel Tower cannot jump.

    35D garnered some attention. The clue was “One attempting to outsmart a bridge troll, in a classic fairy tale,” and the answer was BILLY GOAT. I must confess I am not familiar with the tale. Gary Jugert is in the same boat and said: “Peevishly admitting I’ve never heard a billy goat and troll story. Did I miss an important parable and that’s why I haven’t gotten far in life?”

    And jberg came back with: “Yes, you are missing out. As kids we had a gray book of folk stories, and that was probably the one we most liked to have read to us. Great dialogue, like ‘Well, come along, I’ve got two spears and I’ll poke your eyeballs out at your ears!’ The clue has it wrong, though — the smaller billy goats are not “attempting” to outwit the troll, they are outwitting it.”

    6A was “Ballpark figures, for short.” Many of us thought it could be ESTS, for estimates. But it turned out to be the baseball stats ERAS. It reminded okanaganer of this exchange between Monica and Tom Selleck from Friends:

    Monica: “So, how many lovers have you had?”
    Tom thinks for a minute…: “Um, four.”
    Monica, gobsmacked: “Four? Have you SEEN yourself?”
    Tom: “Well, how many for you?”
    Monica: “Um…”, then silence.
    Tom: “Just,… ballpark.”
    Monica, immediately: “Oh, WAY less than a ballpark.”

    Have you donated $1 to Doug Burgum yet? I just did. He’s the Guv of North Dakota and is running for Prez. As you may have heard, he’s getting a little desperate to qualify for the first GOP presidential debate. He needs 40,000 individual donors. So he’s offering a $20 gift card to anyone who donates $1. So I did. I was careful not to enter a phone number. All he needed was a mailing address and email address, which already get flooded with crap, so what’s a few more? I’ll let you know when/if it comes.

    You’d think An Elementary Treatise on Electricity, by James Clerk Maxwell would be hard to put down. It was published in1881 and is 208 pages long. (It’s worth around $600 today.) But somebody took too long with it.

    The New Bedford Free Public Library acquired a copy in 1882. It was last checked out on Feb. 14, 1905, probably — the stamp is a little unclear — it could have been 1904. In any event, that’s close to 120 years ago.

    So when New Bedford librarian Olivia Melo got a call from Stewart Plein, a curator of rare books at West Virginia University’s library, on May 30th, she said, “Well, it’s about time!” It was in a bunch of books donated to WVU. It showed the New Bedford library as the owner and was not stamped “withdrawn,” which would have meant “no longer owned.” So he sent it back.

    Happily, the book was in “optimal” shape, with the words legible and the spine sturdy. When it was taken out, New Bedford charged a 1 cent a day late fee, which would result in a $430 fine. At the current 5 cents a day fee, the fine would have been $2,100. But late fees were capped at just $2 decades ago, to encourage book returns.

    Remember this one? Note how much trouble Jerry is having keeping a straight face.

    The actor playing Lt. Bookman is Philip Baker Hall, who passed away a little over a year ago at age 90. He popped around in a lot of roles: over 200. I last saw him as the externally gruff but wonderful neighbor on Modern Family. Back in 1984 he played Richard Nixon in Secret Honor, a film directed by Robert Altman. Roger Ebert said: “Nixon is portrayed by Philip Baker Hall, an actor previously unknown to me, with such savage intensity, such passion, such venom, such scandal, that we cannot turn away. Hall looks a little like the real Nixon; he could be a cousin, and he sounds a little like him. That’s close enough. This is not an impersonation, it’s a performance.” Vincent Canby also praised Hall’s “immense performance,” and called it astonishing and risky. Rest in peace, Bookman.

    Good night everybody — see you tomorrow!

  • Tiny Repairs

    We have had poems in Owl Chatter by Anna Krugovoy Silver before.

    Sadly, she passed away at only age 49 back in 2018. I wish she hadn’t — for selfish reasons. She seems like the female version of our Ted Kooser.

    This poem of hers from today’s Writer’s Almanac is about women, but men can enjoy it too, from the outside — I certainly did. There’s a whole women’s planet we guys will never post a settlement on. If my path through a department store takes me through the cosmetics department I get a whiff of it, literally. If it takes me through women’s underwear, I worry I’m going to be arrested for trespassing, or worse, and I pick up my speed. The poem is called Woman with a Hole in Her Stocking.

    Such a universal female gesture,
    a woman grabbing the seam of her stocking,
    tugging it forward over the exposed toe,
    tucking it under her foot so the tear won’t show.
    There’s something graceful and humble
    about the way she will balance, crane-like,
    on one foot, cradling the other in her hand,
    her back bent, her face tilted downward,
    trying to hide the damage of the splintered
    floorboard, or untrimmed toenail.
    Sometimes, while she’s leaning over,
    a strand will float loose from its ponytail.
    Then she’ll stand, recombing her hair
    with her hands, repair after tiny repair.

    After the Uri Geller write-up yesterday, I continued to think about him. About how lucky he was to find a wife able to put up with his unique lunacy. They have two beautiful children too. I was imagining what a divorce proceeding would have been like.

    “Your Honor — look at this silverware drawer! I haven’t had soup since the Yom Kippur War! My children can’t eat cereal!”

    On this date in 1871, Marcel Proust was born in Auteuil, France. Here’s what a madeleine looks like, a bite of which let flow the protagonist’s memories in his novel. (I urged Phil to help himself to a couple but forgot to say “after the shot.” He’s incorrigible.)

    The actual bite in Proust’s own life upon which the notion was based was not of a madeleine, I just learned. It was a bite of a “rusk,” a hard, crisp, twice-toasted bread. I can see why he zhuzhed it up for the book.

    Happy Birthday, MP!

    The clue at 17A today is “Antagonize a powerful figure,” and the answer is POKE THE BEAR. It reminded me of this joke I posted for the Rex gang. Why shouldn’t you suffer too?

    So an Israeli soldier is captured during wartime. The enemy captain tells him if he can perform three feats of valor they will let him go. He says, sure — what are they? First, you must swim this snake-infested lake across and back in 30 minutes. If you survive, we will bring you to this tent containing a fierce bear that is suffering from an abscessed tooth and hasn’t been fed in days. You must extract the tooth. If you survive that, we will bring you to the tent of Princess Fatima, who has had many lovers but has never been satisfied by a man. Your final feat is to bring pleasure to our princess.

    Let’s get started, the Israeli says, and he dives into the lake. Fighting off the snakes, he makes it across and back in just a few seconds under 30 minutes. They bring him to the bear’s tent. He enters and they seal it off behind him. You hear the most godawful screams and roars for what seems like forever and then it’s eerily quiet. The doorway opens slowly, and the soldier staggers out — alive, but only barely. OK, he says to the captain — now where’s that lady with the bad tooth.

    As I tell my students, it’s important to pay attention to the instructions.

    Another verb/animal expression from the puzzle was at 27A: “Become absurdly outlandish, as a TV show,” with the answer JUMP THE SHARK.

    It comes from Henry Winkler and the TV show Happy Days. Some felt the show was growing a little tired, you know, losing its zip. So it turns out Winkler happened to be a very good water skier — he was an instructor when he was a kid. So as a way to boost interest, they set up a wild episode in which Winkler, in a bathing suit and his iconic leather jacket, actually water skis over a shark. In fact, the show hadn’t been flagging — it continued to be quite successful for several more years. But the expression “to jump the shark” became synonymous with doing something crazy in an attempt to avoid a decline. Winkler said he wasn’t upset at being associated with the phrase, in part because “at the time, I had great legs.” The phrase itself was coined by comic Jon Hein with his UMich roommate Sean Connolly. Go Blue!

    Here’s Winkler, on dry land.

    In the fourth Indiana Jones film, Indiana takes refuge in a lead-lined refrigerator to shield himself from the detonation of an atomic bomb. The blast hurls it far enough away that he survives unharmed. The scene was criticized as being “scientifically implausible.” Ya think? Even the idea of a lead-lined fridge is ridiculous.

    In any event, the expression to “nuke the fridge” became synonymous with film scenes that stretch credulity and, in doing so, diminish respect for the film. It’s in the same ballpark as shark-jumping.

    Here’s Karen Allen, the only woman in the cast.

    Thanks for dropping in — see you tomorrow!

  • Get Bent!

    For those of you who miss the “tuchas watch” that mesmerized Crossworld a while back — and how could you not? — there were two great clues in today’s Puns and Anagrams puzzle in the Times. 24D was “Skin eruptions on her ass,” and the answer was RASHES, which is an anagram of “her ass.” And 46A was “Asses’ return mailers,” which was SASES, an anagram of “asses.” Extending the “theme,” 58A was “Astute test for Oscar awards” (STATUETTES), and 54A was “Sassafras in a basil tin” (SIBILANT).

    The clue at 76A was “‘Old ______’ (country standard)” and the answer was SHEP. According to a comment on Rex’s blog, “Old Shep” was the first song Elvis Presley ever officially sang in public. On October 3, 1945, when he was ten years old, he sang it in a singing contest at the Mississippi-Alabama Fair and Dairy Show in Tupelo. He sang it again for a talent show at Humes High School in Memphis in 1951.

    Kent Mickleborough signed a contract offering to buy 87 metric tons of flax from Chris Achter and texted it to him with the note “please confirm flax contract.” Achter wanted to let Mickleborough know he received the contract so he texted back a thumbs-up emoji. It catapulted them right into court. Mickleborough said the emoji meant Achter accepted the offer and was obligated to sell him the flax. Achter said “Flax you!” — the emoji did not rise to the level of an acceptance. He never expressed an intent to agree to the sale.

    Justice Keene of the Saskatchewan court held that a contract was formed, and since the flax was not delivered, Achter owed Mickleborough $61,000. Keene noted the parties in the past used “looks good,” “ok,” or “yup” as acceptances, and that Mickleborough’s note specifically asked for the contract to be confirmed – not merely its receipt. Prof. Julian Nyarko of Stanford Law School said the question is: “Would a reasonable person interpret the emoji as an acceptance under all of the circumstances?” Yup — Achter was flaxed. Moral of the story — be careful where you stick your thumb.

    Here’s Judge Keene’s pretty wife, Peachy, agreeing with his decision.

    When’s the last time you sang the National Anthem? As a sports fan, I hear it all the time, but I can’t recall the last time I actually sang it. Meg Rapinoe, the brilliant US soccer star who just announced that she is retiring after this year’s World Cup, may never sing it again. Isn’t that right, MR?

    On September 4, 2016, in Chicago, Rapinoe knelt during the national anthem in solidarity with Colin Kaepernick. Remember him? Later that week, the Washington Spirit pulled the rug out, by playing the anthem before the teams took the field. But she continued the protest a week later, during the national team game against Thailand. U.S. Soccer then issued a statement saying: “Representing your country is a privilege and honor for any player or coach associated with U.S. Soccer’s National Teams. As part of the privilege to represent your country,we expect that our players and coaches will stand and honor our flag while the national anthem is played.” Rapinoe stated that “using this blanketed patriotism as a defense against what the protest actually is was pretty cowardly.” She further stated that she would probably never sing the national anthem again.

    Hrrrrumph.

    Last July, Rapinoe received the Presidential Medal of Freedom from Joe Biden. So her relationship with Uncle Sam can’t be too bad.

    If there is a shadow in her life, it’s cast by her older brother Brian, who inspired her to play soccer when she was just three and he was eight. Seven years later he began a struggle with drugs that led him in and out of prison, where he also made connections with white supremacist groups. Oy.

    Meg came out publicly as gay in 2012 and announced her engagement to basketball star Sue Bird in October of 2020. Sue is not related to Larry Bird, although when she was younger she liked to lie and claim she was his niece (I’m not kidding).

    Sue and Meg were the first same-sex couple to appear on the cover of ESPN’s The Body Issue. Yikes! — turn the AC down! Phil – get a blanket or something for them — and quit gawking.

    Who doesn’t remember Uri Geller — from the bent spoons? He got his start 50 years ago on a BBC show when he was just 26. A book has come out timed to the anniversary: “Bend It Like Geller,” by a magician who had been a foe, Ben Harris. What irked the magician community about Geller originally was Geller’s denying that it was a trick — he claimed he had mental powers. The battle between him and the community enriched both sides. How rich? Well, Geller lived outside London for many years, in a mansion next door to George Clooney. He downsized in 2015, moving back to his native Tel Aviv where he lives in a modest one-bedroom apartment.

    The greatest Geller skeptic was James Randi (“The Amazing Randi”). After Geller blew Barbara Walters’ mind by bending her key, Randi showed up and deflated her like a Tom Brady football by showing he could bend the same key just as easily. Randi won a $272,000 MacArthur fellowship as a professional skeptic. He wrote a book called “The Truth About Uri Geller,” that claimed Geller was a dangerous fraud. Geller sued him for defamation repeatedly, including once for claiming Geller was performing tricks from the back of cereal boxes. The “cornflakes case” was dismissed, but the war with Geller was costly for Randi. He died three years ago, having requested that his ashes be tossed into Geller’s eyes. Impressive grudge-holding for someone who isn’t Jewish.

    Overall, however, the magician community made its peace with Geller, viewing him ultimately as a master entertainer. Ben Harris, who wrote the new book, had been an ardent debunker but they are close friends now. Geller is generous with advice to young magicians.

    Geller is 76 and has been married to his wife Hannah for 53 years. Her only complaint is she keeps having to buy new silverware. (“Uri — will you cut it out with the goddamn spoons!!! I’m serious!”) Their (kosher) kitchen has three sets: meat, dairy, and bent. They have two children, neither of whom is bent.

    Geller fought in Israel’s Six-Day War in 1967 as a paratrooper and was wounded in action. He says he’s a distant relative of Sigmund Freud on his mother’s side. He poured $6 million into an old soap factory which he converted into the Uri Geller Museum in Tel Aviv. A sculpture comprised of a 53-foot, 11-ton bent spoon sits in front. He’ll give impromptu performances to visitors, still bending spoons, and offering museum tours. He has a spoon tattooed on his arm (see below). When he brings his hand to his shoulder, it bends.

    That’s enough nonsense for today. See you tomorrow!

  • Grandude

    Nancy Savitt shared this story in Met Diary this week.

    Twenty years ago, my friend Ilene and I were eating at a restaurant across the street from City Center before seeing a show. We vaguely noticed a guy who was around our age eating alone, but we were too busy talking to pay much attention to him and soon left for the theater.

    As we settled into our seats before the show began, the guy from the restaurant showed up. He recognized us, introduced himself and struck up a conversation with us. The conversation continued at intermission, when he asked if he could take us out after the show. Later, he took out his card, wrote his home number on it and gave it to me.

    Back at my apartment, Ilene and I discussed the pros and cons of calling him.

    Did you think he was cute?, she asked

    Oh, yeah!

    But he’s a stranger.

    Yes, it turned out we knew people in common, shared a sense of humor and had many common interests. But, still, was it safe?

    Ilene encouraged me to at least meet him in a public place. “You don’t have to marry him!” she said.

    Ah, but I did.

    The puzzle today started off pretty boldly at 1A with the clue “Milk duds?” Duds is often used for clothing. Still, it was tough to come up with NURSING BRA. The B then helped solve 5D “Go on and on,” which was BLATHER. Did you know there is an organization that helps folks who can’t stop talking and talking and talking? It’s called On and On Anon.

    The clue at 55A was “‘The Big Lebowski’ protagonist, with ‘the’” and the answer, of course, was DUDE. It led Rex to note that he did not like TBL and found that odd because it became a cult favorite, and he loved so many other Coen brother films. I was also disappointed in TBL, I must say, but was intrigued by how many commenters today said they hated it at first, but gave it another try (or two or three), and ended up really loving it. Hmmmm. May have to revisit. My Michigan grandson Mo’s other grandfather is Grandude.

    I do recall enjoying this one scene — the part where John Goodman explains why he can’t bowl (or “roll” as they put it) on Saturday.

    Don’t these beautiful babes on a trip to Cartagena, Colombia, look like they’re having a ball?

    Travel planners are starting to take the concerns of fat people into account. What if spa bathrobes don’t fit? What if rides at amusement parks are not fat-friendly and you only find out after waiting on line for an hour? What if the airline loses your bag and you land at a location where stores do not have clothing big enough for you? On that last issue, the story in the Times notes that Trevor Kezon, a board member of the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, said he purposely packs two suitcases on trips because of that possibility.

    Groups such as Fat Girls Traveling, Swipe Fat, and Fat Girls Travel Too! are putting together fat-friendly group tours. One organizer said: The goal is for people “to travel unapologetically.” In addition to arranging for physical accommodations such as restaurants with large comfortable seating, the tours offer the camaraderie of like-bodied travelers. It may not seem like much to some, but imagine the joy behind a statement like — “For the first time in my life, I wore a two piece bathing suit.”

    Is that great, or what? Last point — Car Talk’s swimsuit designer was C. Bigbe Hinds.

    Let’s let Ted Kooser say goodnight for us tonight. Thanks for stopping in. This is from Winter Morning Walks.

    A flock of several hundred small brown birds,
    all of one mind, crazily chases its tail
    across a muddy field and into a grove of trees.
    They are full of joy, like a wheel that breaks loose
    from a truck and bounds down the road
    ahead of the driver, then eventually slows
    and falls behind, wobbling onto a spot
    on the shoulder, rocking around on its rim,
    then settling with a ringing cry.

  • Ride or Die

    The clue at 2D today was: “Whoa! . . . say what?,” and the answer was REWIND.

    The comment it elicited from LMS had me laughing out loud and uncontrollably at the breakfast table:

    “Whoa. Say what? REWIND. I had such a moment yesterday morning. Mom and I were peacefully sharing a space, me with my crossword, her with her iPad solitaire. After a while, she said, Sometimes when my stomach makes noises, I think it’s people talking. Where do you even start with something like that? What a great sentence. On so many levels. Its ambiguity notwithstanding, its ambush factor is fantastic. It would be a dandy way to discourage a pesky guy bothering you at a bar. He confides sheepishly that he can be a little stubborn, that he’s a good judge of people, and that his family can be [grin] a little crazy. Yawn. You can lean in, lock eyes, and deliver Mom’s line very seriously and then do a little eyebrow wag. I imagine he’ll regroup, reassess, and lurch off to greener pastures.”

    In response, I posted:

    “Too funny! Steps need to be taken to have Mom declared a national treasure!

    “My uncles Maish and Calman would go to the movies together and when Maish’s stomach growled, he’d poke Calman and tell him to be quiet. Calman would apologize. It was a form of stomach ventriloquism.”

    At 54A, the clue was “One who is loyal to a fault,” and the answer was RIDE OR DIE. I’ve heard of it, but only from puzzles.

    “Ride or die” refers to someone who’s always there for you, through the highs and the lows. Someone you can rely on is called your “ride or die.”

    “Ride or die chick” is a term commonly used in hip-hop circles to describe a fiercely loyal female partner.

    A good example from the news is Walt Nauda who was indicted for abetting Trump with the classified docs. By the way — Walt is not short for Walter — his name is Waltine. (I’m not kidding.) It’s a family thing — his dad is Saltine. And his mom is Pecan Sandy. [No they’re not.]

    A variation I’m fond of is ride or die but with a stop for snacks.

    When I googled “ride or die images” this came up:

    Artist Marc Chagall was born on this date in 1887 in Belarus. His dad was a fish merchant, and whenever Chagall placed a fish in a painting it was meant to show respect for his father. Chagall was admitted to the U.S. with his wife Bella as an “endangered artist” during the Nazi years. When Bella died suddenly, he stopped painting for nine months. He said, “All dressed in white or all in black, she has long floated across my canvases.”

    “I was born at an early age,” I once heard Ringo Starr say when asked to talk about himself. In fact, it was on this date in 1940 that he was born, so he is 83 years old today. He was often quite ill as a child as a result of which he was not able to read until he was eight. He spent two years in a sanitorium. It was there that the staff formed a hospital band and Ringo was given a mallet to bang with. You can fill in the rest.

    Once the Beatles broke up, Ringo went on to earn seven top-ten hits between 1971 and 1975 in a solo career. Here he is with his wife, actress Barbara Bach. They have been married since 1981, the same year this photo was taken. They had no kids together, but Barbara has two and Ringo three from previous marriages. Ringo’s oldest son, Zak, is a drummer. In 2016, Ringo was the first Beatle to become a great-grandfather.

    Here are some of his quotes:

    Fondest memory of being a Beatle: Having three brothers.

    The trouble with leaving your feet on the ground is you never get to take your pants off.

    Did you know that a humorous nickname for a raccoon is TRASH PANDA? Amazingly, I remembered that from a prior puzzle. Joaquin added the following:

    The city of Rogersville, MO is known as the “Raccoon Capital of the World.” This weekend in Rogersville, there is an event called the “J6 Truth and Light Freedom Festival.” It is a gathering of participants of the January 6th insurrection who will be celebrating their treasonous deeds while raising money for the many defendants. Could there be a more sad and disgusting abuse of our right to assemble?

    Amen to that, Brother.

    The answer for “Out in public?” — OPENLY GAY generated some discussion, starting with Rex himself. He wrote:

    An answer that felt dated was OPENLY GAY. It has something … shocked about it, something that suggests that not hiding one’s gayness is inherently flagrant or ostentatious. We say “out” now because it’s neutral. OPENLY GAY feels like a holdover from a time when just … being gay out in the open (whatever form that takes) was less common, more startling (to straights). It has a mild suggestion of flamboyance, of “shoving our face in it.” As if “open” gayness were shameless. As opposed to just, you know, perfectly ordinary. It’s a tonal thing. The OPENLY part suggests it’s normally (or even properly) hidden. I don’t know that it’s a bad term; it just belongs to a different era (to my ear). Obviously homophobia is still with us, and people are still closeted, but something about this phrase just sits slightly wrong. When I google “OPENLY GAY” (in quot. marks), the first thing that comes up is an editorial from The Advocate entitled, “Why ‘Openly Gay’ Is an Offensive Term.” “Offensive” is stronger language than I would have used, but the article’s worth reading. Here’s a taste:
    “Openly” is a noxious designation that is not as accepting or as enlightened as it seems. “Openly” is in fact the reaction to disapproval. It expresses surprise, shock, that someone LGBTQ+ is actually, officially, not hiding in plain sight.

    Mathgent followed with: Are many gay people here offended by the term OPENLYGAY? Rex’s virtue signaling seems excessive.

    Magoo wrote: I’m openly gay and not at all offended by the term. It’s dated but real. Once at a work meeting there were 3 or 4 gay people and the person leading the meeting said something that riled a straight female colleague. She pulled us aside after the meeting and expressed her anger and asked if we wanted to complain. We totally didn’t get why she was offended and let her know that we would let her know if something bothered us in the future. People love to get offended on behalf of others.

    Anonymous added: “Openly gay” still makes sense in places where the taboo is still in place (sports, religions…) Has a hint of heroism to it.

    In the You-Can’t-Make-This-Stuff-Up Department, the cocaine that mysteriously appeared at the White House was blamed on Hunter Biden (voo den?) by Trump. But Trump’s moronic, if attractive, former press sec’y Kayleigh McEnany disagreed.

    “For it to be Hunter Biden, he left on Friday, he was at Camp David. There is no way, it is inconceivable to think cocaine could sit for a 72-hour period [at The White House], so I would rule him out at this point,” McEnany said.

    Wait, what?

    Thanks for dropping in. See you tomorrow!

  • Barbie and the Nine-Dash Line

    In yesterday’s puzzle, two actors met at a crossing that was the undoing of many a solver. I knew neither of them, but guessed well. It was John CHO, of the Star Trek films, and the gorgeous HONG CHAU: Best Supporting Actress nominee for “The Whale,” 2022. They crossed at the “O.” Here’s Ms. Chau.

    Hong was born in Thailand to Vietnamese parents in a refugee camp. They fled Vietnam in the late 70’s as “boat people” when her mom was six-months pregnant. She is a U.S. citizen, and she’s 44. Her parents worked as dishwashers and then ran a convenience store so she could attend college (Boston University). Even today, when they visit her, they insist on doing the dishes. She has a daughter who is three.

    The puzzle was about languages. At five points it had a word in a different language — in that language’s writing. For example, it had the word CHECKERS written in Chinese lettering and we had to come up with the answer CHINESE CHECKERS. The one that was easiest for me (since I know a little Hebrew), was the word for National written in Hebrew for the answer: HEBREW NATIONAL (the hot dog).

    Some folks had never heard of Hebrew Nationals — what rock are they living under? We reminded them of the “we answer to a higher authority” ad campaign I am sure you all recall.

    Here’s a young lady eating a 5.5-pound, 3-foot-long hot dog. I have no idea why.

    A note from LMS:

    Whenever I introduce prepositions in class, I always say, Hey! Wanna see prepositions in Japanese? This usually startles them, and when I start writing a big ole sentence in Japanese kanji and hiragana on the board, even the wiseacres in the back are paying attention. 私は学校でお弁当を食べました。What the . . .? I’ll draw little arrows identifying the characters that are actually postpositions because they follow the noun they’re working with. I explain this, too, that some languages have postpositions instead of prepositions. Incredibly, the whole class pays attention even though they have no idea what the hell I’m talking about. But the grammar aspect isn’t the point. When I’m done, I say, I could have written this using our alphabet – Watashi wa gakkō de o bentō o tabemashita. Why do you think I chose to write it in Japanese? Answers vary, but finally someone will say something like to show you can? I always shriek and say BINGO! I wrote this totally to show off. As you wander off into your lives, if you ever have the chance to study a language with a different written system, do it. Because when you can write stuff in that system, you just feel really smart. Like a bad-ass boss. Happily, a few years ago, I got a postcard from a former student who was doing a year abroad in China. Said she took my advice. Yay!

    Re: SARI (Dewali dress), from egsforbreakfast:

    Indian Mom: Time to leave for your wedding, darling. Do you have everything?
    Daughter: Yes, Mom.
    Mom: Your shoes?
    Daughter: Yes, Mom.
    Mom: Your hat?
    Daughter: Yes, Mom.
    Mom: Your SARI?
    Daughter: No, just a little nervous.

    Well, Girl, you’ve really stuck your pretty little foot (see below) in it this time! Of all the countries to diss, it had to be Vietnam?? Things are still a little delicate out there. Sheesh.

    Here’s the story: In the new Barbie movie (by Greta Gerwig) there’s a scene that includes the “nine-dash line,” a U-shaped dotted line on a map showing territory in the South China Sea that Vietnam and China both claim. Vietnam is furious with the filmmakers because the film’s use of the line supports China’s claim. Barbie was scheduled to open in Vietnam on July 21, but that’s been nixed and the film has been banned in the country. This should not come as a surprise to the pretty doll — two other movies in recent years have been banned in Vietnam for the same reason. Owl Chatter has reached out to Ken for comment, but we have not heard back. Here’s what all the fuss is about:

    Another big brouhaha arose over Barbie’s perfectly arched feet. Margot Robbie is the actress who plays B and in one scene the camera zooms in on her feet as she steps out of her plush pink slippers and onto her tippy-toes. The arches struck some observers as too perfect to be human. Gerwig was accused of using special effects.

    But Robbie and Gerwig, appearing together on Australian TV, refuted the charges. Robbie conceded that she did get a pedicure for the shot, but the feet are hers. All it took was a bar for her to hold onto and some double-sided tape to keep the shoes still. No special effects. “She just has the nicest feet,” Gerwig explained, “beautiful dancer feet.”

    The exquisite actress/model Alexis BLEDEL visited the puzzle today at 44D, clued with her role on Gilmore Girls. She’ll be 42 in September. She was born in Texas and raised in a Spanish-speaking home. She identifies as Latina. She was 18 and attending NYU when she got the offer to join the cast of GG and dropped out. She married an actor she met while guest-starring on Mad Men and had one son with him, but they divorced last year. Not surprisingly (see photos, below), she has been on the cover of many magazines, including Glamour. This is Alexis’ first visit to Owl Chatter — Don’t be a stranger AB! — We won’t pair you with that hot-dog girl next time.

    That’s about as pretty an ending as we could ever come up with. See you tomorrow.

  • Streaks on Cheeks

    Merriam-Webster’s Word of the Day is girandole, which is new to me. It’s fitting for the day because it covers certain fireworks: a radiating and showy composition (such as a cluster of skyrockets fired together). It’s also often used for an ornamental branched candlestick, or a pendant earring usually with three ornaments hanging from a central piece.

    Here’s a nice one, followed by my Aunt Bertha showing off some girandole earrings she found at a flea market somewhere.

    A pair of Rex comments today about the puzzle’s theme (which was burger toppings):

    Dr. Haber: Was wondering, can “plain” be a topping? Asking for a friend.

    Bageleater: No. Plain can not be a topping. When a burger is plain, there is nothing on top.

    Thanks for clearing that up, fellas.

    So, as noted, the puzzle theme was burger toppings, with each topping part of long answer: TOMATO METER (Movie rating scale with “Fresh” and “Rotten” labels); GLASS ONION (2022 murder mystery movie with cameos by Serena Williams and Yo-Yo Ma); PICKLEBALL (Sport craze of the 2020s); and GREEN CHEESE (Moon’s makeup, fancifully).

    And the toppings were sort of stacked (in the grid) on top of the

    CHEESE BURGER

    About “Glass Onion,” Joe Dipinto noted “before the movie, there was this song,” and he shared this Beatle tune that reminded me how long it’s been since I’ve heard a Beatle tune.

    But the most exciting news of all is that our favorite commenter, LMS, is back, after a long (unexplained) absence, and the commentariat (and Owl Chatter) are delighted. Here are her comments on two of today’s puzzle answers: BUTTS (Cigarette discards), and NAME IT (“Whatever you want — just say!”).

    “Mr. BUTTS is our tech guy at school and he’s a beast. Love him. But what a tough name to have if you work with teenagers. In WV, we had a Mrs. Butts who retired and was replaced by Ms. Heiney. I. Kid. You. Not.

    “NAME IT. Hmm. Whatever you want. Apparently they’re offering signing bonuses to any teacher willing to work at Turning Point. So many are afraid of the idea of working at an alternative school that it’s extremely hard to find employees. (A substitute teacher was attacked a few months ago, and she was interviewed on the news. I’m glad she shared her story – every bit of it true – but it didn’t help in our constant endeavor to fill positions.) The obvious question for those of us who’re already there is obvious: what about us? Don’t we deserve a little something, too? I heard that they’re actually going to meet with us and ask what it will take to get us to stay. I haven’t worked out my demands yet, but honestly, I love it there so much that I don’t really need any kind of incentive.”

    Here’s the TV report on the attack:

    On Sunday, “Contents of some streaks on cheeks,” was MASCARA.

    C’mon. Cheer up young lady. Tomorrow will be brighter. See you then!

  • Diagnosis

    Hey everybody! Welcome to Owl Chatter’s 250th Post! We’re so glad you could join us today!

    As we “teased” earlier this week, our special guest is probably the most sought-after celebrity on the planet right now — C’mon, folks — let’s have a special Owl Chatter welcome for everybody’s favorite mutineer Yevgeny Prigozhin!

    Yev! – C’mon in! You’re looking mighty spiffy out of uniform – just need to work a bit on that “thumbs up” signal — you’ll get it! Just fold in those other fingers a bit more. Phil — help him out!

    And look what he brought, everybody! You can take the homicidal butcher out of the caterer, but you can’t take the caterer out of the homicidal butcher — as the saying goes. Amirite, Yev? You shouldn’t have — dig in everybody! Careful with those watermelon balls — if I know Yev, they’re soaked in vodka — or gasolene — Kaboom! Ha! I guess Zelensky’s not the only comedian around here! How about a few words, YP?

    Thank you, Owl Chatter friends! What honor it is for invitation to wonderful 250th post party! Please enjoy food — there is plenty more in tanks. Thank you for making us feel safe — New Jersey is — how you say? — mob controlled. Even close personal friend Vlad Putin afraid to come here. We lost three men in Newark already, just shopping for CDs.

    Thank you, Yev! The honor is all ours! But please, relax. We have a special guest for you and the fellas. TS — I think you have a message for YP?

    Hey Mr. P and all of you good-looking manly Wagner Swifties! Welcome to Jersey — and Owl Chatter! Love those outfits! If anyone could use a good breakup song now, it’s gotta be you, amirite? You and that big Russian bully used to be so close! And now he’s trying to poison you, or worse — believe me, I’ve been there. Haters gotta hate. But here’s what you have to do, Mr. P — no question — Just Shake It Off!

    Thanks for coming TS! Brilliant as usual. Enjoy the spread — Yevgeny brought it all — careful with those watermelon balls.

    Here’s a wonderful poem from TWA today — perfect for the occasion. It’s by Sharon Olds (who has appeared in puzzles from time to time) and it’s called Diagnosis.

    By the time I was six months old, she knew something
    was wrong with me. I got looks on my face
    she had not seen on any child
    in the family, or the extended family,
    or the neighborhood. My mother took me in
    to the pediatrician with the kind hands,
    a doctor with a name like a suit size for a wheel:
    Hub Long. My mom did not tell him
    what she thought in truth, that I was Possessed.
    It was just these strange looks on my face—
    he held me, and conversed with me
    chatting as one does with a baby, and my mother
    said, She’s doing it now! Look!
    She’s doing it now! and the doctor said,
    What your daughter has
    is called a sense
    of humor. Ohhh, she said, and took me
    back to the house where that sense would be tested
    and found to be incurable.

    Thanks for coming everybody!

  • Unrequited Sunshine

    Let’s start today with some acrobatics. It’ll loosen us up. They are by Carly Schuna who happens to be the constructor of today’s excellent puzzle! Her performance on the German Wheel runs about 5 minutes at the end of which you may feel joyful. How often can you say that?

    After referring to CHICK LIT as a “stupid derogatory term” today, Rex felt the need to write: “I should add that most everyone I know is a woman.”

    So I added the following note:

    “So Rex mostly knows women? That explains why he’s so grumpy most of the time. [That was a joke. I ran it by my wife before typing it. She told me not to use it, but only because it’s not funny. Good point.]

    “And speaking of mostly women, my daughter Caity is an excellent RN in oncology. (I am very proud of her.) Once when she was a nursing student, she texted me and asked if I could bring her notebook to her in class — she had left it on her desk at home and she needed it for an open book/notes exam. She gave me the room number and said I should just come in, stand in the back, and she’d come and take it from me. I said sure, grabbed it, and drove the short distance to her school.

    “The minute I walked in, about 20 exquisite 19-year old women turned and looked at me. It was like walking into a Victoria’s Secret catalog. The instructor said something, and I remember thinking if I could somehow get out the words ‘daughter’ and ‘notebook’ amid my stammering, I might be okay. Finally, after what seemed like a very long time, Caity rescued me (with a big smile) by coming up and taking the book.”

    A Rex commenter today used the expression “generational difficulty.” Puzzles can be skewed towards a specific generation or generations. And if yours is not among them, you have to hope the crossing answers will rescue you. I’m at sea when it comes to rap stars and texting lingo, except for the few of each that are in widest circulation. I’m also weak on old movies and the sciences.

    Today there were two long answers that were Gen-Z-centric. One was “‘I can relate,’ in Gen Z slang.” The answer was THAT IS SUCH A MOOD.

    WTF? I have never seen that. This is what Google gave me: It means that something you see perfectly portrays a feeling/mood that you have/are having. For example: You’re at the zoo and tired and you say “That sleeping panda is such a mood.”

    The other one was “‘As frickin’ if!’” The answer was HELL TO THE NO. Apparently, it’s said instead of “Hell no!” That’s news to me.

    On the other hand, there was “Dancing duo of the early 1900s,” which was even before my time. It was ASTAIRES. Fred danced with his sister Adele back then. At least I’ve heard of Fred.

    Did you know this about IDAHO? According to 26A, its name is completely fabricated despite being “translated” as “gem of the mountains.”

    The clue at 47D was “Brief out line?” and the answer was I LOSE, the reference being to something like a poker game where I’m out = I lose. I agreed with several commenters who said a better answer would have been I’M GAY.

    A few days ago Owl Chatter chatted about Miss Cleo, the TV psychic who was famous enough from her late-night TV ads to make it into the puzzle. I don’t recall seeing any of the ads, but I wish I had — she was great! Take a look:

    The Poetry Foundation sent this poem today. It’s by Jacqueline Allen Trimble and is called The Language of Joy.

    Black woman joy is like this:
    Mama said one day long before I was born
    she was walking down the street,
    foxes around her neck, their little heads
    smiling up at her and out at the world
    and she was wearing this suit she had saved up
    a month’s paycheck for after it called to her so seductively
    from the window of this boutique. And that suit
    was wearing her, keeping all its promises
    in all the right places. Indigo. Matching gloves.
    Suede shoes dippity-do-dahed in blue.
    With tassels! Honey gold. And, Lord, a hat
    with plume de peacock, a conductor’s baton that bounced
    to hip rhythm. She looked so fine she thought
    Louis Armstrong might pop up out of those movies
    she saw as a child, wipe his forehead and sing
    ba da be bop oh do de doe de doe doe.
    And he did. Mama did not sing but she was skiddly-doing that day,
    and the foxes grinned, and she grinned
    and she was the star of her own Hollywood musical
    here with Satchmo who had called Ella over and now they were all
    singing and dancing like a free people up Dexter Avenue,
    and don’t think they didn’t know they were walking in the footsteps
    of slaves and over auction sites and past where old Wallace
    had held onto segregation like a life raft, but this
    was not that day. This day was for foxes and hip rhythm
    and musical perfection and folks on the street joining in the celebration
    of breath and holiness. And they did too. In color-coordinated ensembles,
    they kicked and turned and grinned and shouted like church
    or football game, whatever their religious preference. The air
    vibrated with music, arms, legs, and years of unrequited
    sunshine. Somebody did a flip up Dexter Avenue.
    It must have been a Nicholas Brother in a featured performance,
    and Mama was Miss-Lena-Horne-Dorothy-Dandridge
    high-stepping up the real estate, ready for her close-up.
    That’s when Mama felt this little tickle. She thought
    it might be pent-up joy, until a mouse squirmed out
    from underneath that fine collar, over that fabulous fur,
    jumped off her shoulder and ran down the street.
    Left my mama standing there on Dexter Avenue in her blue
    suit and dead foxes. And what did Mama do?
    Everybody looking at her, robbed by embarrassment?
    She said, “It be like that sometimes,” then she and Satchmo,
    Ella, and the whole crew jammed their way home.

    The Owl Chatter staff is still working on the lineup of special guests for the next post after this one, which will be #250. We’ll be broadcasting from the Walls of Jericho Valley in the Berkshires, where the air, we hope, will not be too smoky (cough, cough).

    Thanks for dropping by.