Anne Clarke, of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, had had enough. More than enough, truth be told. So she filed for divorce from her shitbag husband Dennis, an adulterer who abandoned her and their two children. Dennis conceded his shitbaggedness, and the divorce was granted. Court records show: “She is garunted to bee divorced.” And thus we have the first legal divorce recorded in the American colonies, on this very date, in 1643.
Many years ago, I had to reserve a campsite for the July 4th weekend, so I called Andre at Privacy Campground in Hancock MA. He told me the cost would be $17 a night for two people plus a dollar extra for each additional camper. I told him there would be four of us, so it would be $19 a night.
We needed the site for two nights, but he said it was a holiday weekend so there was a three-night minimum. That was fine with me, but it seemed silly to be paying the extra $2 for the night we weren’t going to be there. So I said, “Okay. But that third night – the night we’re not going to be there? Only two of us won’t be there.” It didn’t work. He pretended to not understand what I was saying, so I just let it go. Here’s a photo of all four of us, not there:

I see in the NYT today that Romeo and Juliet are suing!! They claim they were sexually abused as minors. It’s no idle owl chatter: it’s a real lawsuit. California opened up a three-year window in its statute of limitations to allow for minors to file civil suits for sexual abuse they suffered long ago. (It closed last Saturday.) So Olivia Hussey and Leonard Whiting (Romeo and Juliet) are suing Paramount Pics over nude footage of them in Zeffirelli’s 1968 film. J was 16 at the time, and R was 17. They claim they were assured there would be no nudity, but were duped! “Images of plaintiffs’ nude bodies were secretly and unlawfully obtained during the performance,” the suit asserts. Zeffirelli himself bears much of the blame for the deception, but he died in 2019. The suit states the studio “knew or should have known” about it.

Hussey said she was told she’d be able to wear a flesh-colored body suit for the scene in question, but when it was shot Zef told her she’d have to be nude for it to work. It was filmed on a closed set with only essential crew present, but she recalled one incident in which a “dirty old man” on the crew had to be removed. Hey! Dirty old men have rights too!! Hrummmmmph!
I can see why R fell for her.

Speaking of nudes, the NYTXW continues tossing tuchases at us. We’ve had one on three out of the five days of 2023 so far. Today’s was “Biblical mount,” at 30D: ASS. It was appropriately placed in the grid on the other side of, and below, ABS, at 20A (“Pilates target”).
The clue for 21D was a great word: “Lachrymose,” and the answer was TEARY. So my question for you is: after you’ve had a good cry, are you lachrymoist?
The clue for 52A was “Recover from a bender,” with the answer SOBER UP. LMS noted she misread the clue at first as “Recover from a blender.” And then she just said “Gruesome.”
“Good name for a marine biologist” at 4D was RAE. And I was thinking a good name for the Whirlpool salesman (who sold me my new microwave oven today), would be Eddie.
In yesterday’s New Yorker puzzle by brilliant constructor Patrick Berry, one of the answers was “Alan Smithee.” Here’s the story:
During the filming of Death of a Gunfighter, released in 1969, actor Richard Widmark was at odds with the director, Robert Totten, and used his influence to have him replaced by Don Siegel. Siegel did not want the credit as the director because he worked on only ten days of shooting, plus he claimed Widmark was really in control. But Totten didn’t want the credit either since he was bitter about being replaced. In the end, a pseudonym was used: Alan Smithee. The film got good reviews. The NY Times said it was “sharply directed by Alan Smithee who has an adroit facility for scanning faces and extracting sharp background detail.” Roger Ebert wrote, “Director Alan Smithee, a name I’m not familiar with, allows his story to unfold naturally.”
“Alan Smithee” was then used retroactively for the director’s credit for the film Fade In. The director, Jud Taylor, wanted to make a statement that he was overly interfered with on the film. Since then, the name has been used for the director in over two dozen films, where, for one reason or another, the actual director did not want the credit. An urban legend arose saying the name “Alan Smithee” was being used because it is an anagram of “the alias men,” but there is no evidence for this assertion.
Listen to this! — In 1997, the film An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn was released, in which a man named Alan Smithee (played by Eric Idle) wishes to disavow a film he directed, but is unable to do so because the only pseudonym he is permitted to use is his own name. The film was directed by Arthur Hiller, who complained that producer Joe Eszterhas had interfered with his creative control, and successfully removed his own name from the film, so Alan Smithee was credited instead! The film was a commercial and critical flop scoring only an 8 rating (out of 100) on Rotten Tomatoes. It won a “worst picture” award. The name Alan Smithee gained so much attention from this film that it was retired from use as a pseudonym.

Michelangelo’s PIETA graced the grid today at 62A, the only piece Michelangelo ever signed. It’s had a tough life since its creation in 1498-1499. Mary lost four fingers on her left hand during a move. WTF!! They should have used the Seven Santini Brothers!
More seriously, on May 21, 1972, a mentally disturbed geologist, Laszlo Toth, attacked the sculpture with a geologist’s hammer while shouting, “I am Jesus Christ; I have risen from the dead!” With 15 blows he removed Mary’s arm at the elbow, knocked off a chunk of her nose, and chipped one of her eyelids. Bob Cassilly, an American sculptor and artist from St. Louis, Missouri, was one of the first people to remove Toth from the Pietà. “I leaped up and grabbed the guy by the beard. We both fell into the crowd of screaming Italians. It was something of a scene.” Onlookers took many of the pieces of marble that flew off. Later, some were returned, but Mary’s nose wasn’t, and it had to be reconstructed from a block cut out of her back. (The same thing happened to a cousin of mine: now, whenever you slap him on the back, he sneezes.)

I told our Vermont friend Lizzie that she had climbed into Leonard Cohen’s song “Sisters of Mercy,” in caring so relentlessly for our ailing friend Susan. I defied her to come up with a lyric more beautiful than “If your life is a leaf that the seasons tear off and condemn, they will bind you with love that is graceful and green as a stem.”
In response, she shared one of her favorites with me: A Paul Simon song I was not familiar with, “Further to Fly.” Here’s the second chorus:
There may come a time when I will lose you
Lose you as I lose my light
Days falling backward into velvet night
The open palm of desire wants everything, it wants everything
It wants soil as soft as summer
And the strength to push like spring

Thanks for stopping by. See you tomorrow.


































