When I drove my kids around when they were little, I noticed that the back seat to them was like the Cone of Silence in Get Smart. They thought they could say anything and not be heard. Almost 30 years ago (Ouch!), I was driving Caity and her friend Claire somewhere (Hi Chris!), and one of them started saying something like “Did you hear where Sally let Billy put his hand?,” and I said, “Hello? I’m here! I can hear you! I don’t want to know where Billy’s hand went.”

Anyway, that was the famous Moose-In-A-Hat ride. With Billy’s hand off the table, so to speak, the following conversation took place:

Claire: “Do you know Sarah from school?”

Caity: “I know who she is, but we don’t play together.”

Claire: “Well, I hate Sarah.”

Caity: “Why?”

Claire: “For one thing, she thinks everything is funny. She even thinks a moose in a hat is funny.”

Now, where in the world did that come from? In any case, there was a long pause before Caity’s reply, and I was a little nervous because I knew it would reveal something about Caity’s character. Would she pile on and say something like, “Yeah, what an idiot, I hate Sarah too.” Or would she come to Sarah’s defense in some way?

The seconds ticked off. Finally, Caity took her stand: “But a moose in a hat is funny,” she said.

I was so proud of her. The whole time she was thinking about it, she was assessing the comedic value of a moose in a hat. Picturing the different possibilities — what sort of hat? how would it be worn? Of course a moose in a hat is funny. If a moose in a hat isn’t funny, then what the hell is, I ask you? Maybe Caity could be convinced about Sarah, but the case wasn’t made quite yet.

That became the standard for humor in our family. Sam would come back from a Will Ferrell movie and I’d ask him if it was funny. And he’d say, “Well, it was no moose in a hat.”

Moostletoe!

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A wonderful puzzle today by two top-of-the-line constructors: Brooke Husic and Erik Agard.

Let’s start with SMOKEY EYE, “Blended style of facial makeup.” Mask wearing has highlighted lovely eyes, or, in my case, bleary baggy eyes. One morning the bags under my eyes were so big, the airlines would have charged me for them if I were flying. But here’s a pair of nice smokey eyes.

There was an extremely sharp clue, which I didn’t appreciate until Rex explained it to me. The clue was “Noun phrase that’s present perfect indicative?” So I immediately dismissed it as some impossible grammar thing, right? But the answer was WISHLIST. And a wish list “indicates perfect presents” (gifts) — get it? It sailed right by me.

ELMO made an appearance, and so did the lovely Jena MALONE.

There were two neat birds. First, an AUK (“Puffin, for one”).

Then an owl (!) in the clue “Owl’s sound,” which many took to be HOOT, but it turned out to be WHOO (or is it WHOOM?)

That’s my dearest friend Welly on the left, 58 years old, kinehora, and his lovely bride Wilma on the right. (He fell for her sexy purple feet, he tells me. Who wouldn’t?) And their son, Worthington, is in the center. He’s got his mom’s eyes, doesn’t he? Worthy is out in Michigan now, so they are empty nesters. (Special shout out to Jenny, their very special friend (and creator).)

27 down was a little weird: “Adherent to the Five K’s.” Huh? It turns out the answer was SIKH, and a Rex commenter explained: “In Sikhism, the Five Ks (Punjabi: ਪੰਜ ਕਕਾਰ Pañj Kakār) are five items that Guru Gobind Singh Ji, in 1699, commanded Khalsa Sikhs to wear at all times. They are: kesh (unshorn hair and beard since the Sikh decided to keep it), kangha (a comb for the kesh, usually wooden), kara (a bracelet, usually made of iron or steel), kachera (an undergarment), and kirpan (a small curved sword of any size, shape or metal).”

At festivals, children often took off with a kangha or kara and played “hide and Sikh.” (No they didn’t. I made that up. If they did, though, here’s what a kara looks like.)

If you’re not worried about having a big GUT (60D), you can wolf down your SUB (49D), with a PBR (Pabst Blue Ribbon) (61D). A few years ago I learned (via puzzles) the difference between an “initialism” (like PBR) and an acronym. Both take the first letters of something, but an initialism just spells those letters, while an acronym turns them into a new word. So FBI is an initialism (Federal Bureau of Investigation), while NATO is an acronym (North Atlantic Treaty Organization), which you pronounce NATO instead of spelling out N, A, T, O.

3 down was a wonderful clue/answer: “Dance section of a NOLA dance band parade.” The answer was SECOND LINE, which was new to me. It’s a New Orleans thing and is pretty well-known. Here’s what the city’s PR people say:

“A brass band blares. A hand-decorated parasol twirls. A ragtag group behind the band waves handkerchiefs to the beat of the drum, while a grand marshal in a snazzy suit and jaunty hat leads the way – out-dancing, out buck-jumping them all as he waves his feathered fan. Lucky you. You’ve just stumbled across a New Orleans ‘second line.’ Everyone is welcome to join in and many do. This is the ‘joie de vivre’ everyone talks about in New Orleans. This feeling of pure happiness that swells up in your chest [especially if you’ve just eaten Pakistani food and are having trouble finding a rest room].

“Second lining has been called ‘the quintessential New Orleans art form – a jazz funeral without a body.’ Historically, the African-American community began second lines as neighborhood celebrations. The neighborhood organizations offered social aid to freed slaves, such as loans and insurance, and used the second-lines as a form of advertising. Second lines were also used to honor members who died in their community, which launched the idea of second lines at funerals.

“There are two parts to a second line. The first line is made up of the grand marshal or parade leader, the band, and whoever is being honored. In a jazz funeral, the family and the hearse are part of the first line. In a wedding, the bride, groom and wedding party take a position up front. The strutting revelers who fall in behind are referred to as the second line. “

Sign me up!

Good night everyone.