I was on the phone with a friend a few days ago, and he asked me how many tries I needed for Wordle that day and what the word was. So I said “Four Queue” and he hung up on me!!

Here’s some important news from The Onion:

Dad Spends Most of Phone Call Praising New Bucket

AUSTIN, TX—Describing the plastic 5-gallon container as “a real stunner,” local father Edward Nielsen reportedly spent most of a phone call with his son Andrew on Monday praising a newly acquired bucket. “It’s a quality bucket, and comfortable to grip too,” said the retiree, refusing to let his son get a word in as he raved over the bucket, which he noted also came with its own high-quality lid. “The best of both worlds. You remember the bucket I had last year, don’t you? That one wasn’t as good. It didn’t have the same capacity. This one’s much better. I wonder if I should have bought a second one. I’ll tell you what, I’m going to go back to the store tomorrow and get another one for myself and one for you, too.” At press time, sources confirmed Nielsen was ignoring questions about how Mom’s surgery went to tout the bucket’s durability.

Another headline was:

Biden’s Lungs Fly Out Of Mouth In Attempt To Blow Out Birthday Candles

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Charles de Gaulle was born on this date in 1890. Happy Birthday, Monsieur le President! He ate very quickly. At state banquets plates were often taken away while still full. He didn’t eat fruit, thinking it took too long to peel. And it was he who had this great line: “How can you govern a country that has 246 varieties of cheese?” 

He said this about Churchill:  “When I am right, I get angry. Churchill gets angry when he is wrong. We are angry at each other much of the time.”

He was married to his wife, Yvonne, for close to 50 years, until her death did them part. They had three kids. Here he is with his youngest — his daughter Anne. Anne was born with Down Syndrome and lived with the family until passing away at age 20 from pneumonia. De Gaulle loved Anne dearly and took long walks with her, hand-in-hand, talking quietly of things she could understand. She was able to say only one word clearly: “Papa.” At her death, de Gaulle said, “Maintenant, elle est comme les autres.” (“Now, she is like the others.”) Heartbreaking. When de Gaulle died 22 years later, he was buried next to Anne.

Yvonne was a conservative Catholic and fought against prostitution and pornography. She tried to convince de Gaulle to outlaw miniskirts, but he refused. [OMG, too painful to contemplate. Let’s not go there.]

After Anne’s death, the de Gaulles created the “Fondation Anne de Gaulle“, to assist young women who were mentally handicapped. Yvonne worked for the foundation for the rest of her life.

De Gaulle’s son Philippe is a retired French admiral and senator. He is still living, in Paris, at age 101. He has three children, the oldest of whom is named Charles. Charles, however, disappointed the family by moving into right-wing politics. Probably was a slow eater too.

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The NYT had a feature yesterday in which they invited readers to share tips on how to survive the holiday with one’s relatives. Maureen, of Palm Desert CA, wrote: “When spending time with family over the holidays, I bring a few mementos — my business cards, photos with friends, and my house keys — all to remind me that I have a fulfilling life elsewhere.”

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17A in the puzzle today is “Actress Fisher of ‘Wedding Crashers,’” and the answer was ISLA. Pabloinnh said that it was new to him “as I had previously thought that no woman is an ISLA.”

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29D: “Team with a sausage race at every home game,” is THE BREWERS. R Duke noted: I’ve been to a few Brewers games over the years and always enjoyed the sausage race. It doesn’t matter who comes in first, everyone’s a wiener.

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Owl Chatter will be broadcasting our usual nonsense from Bloomfield Hills. MI, over the holiday, just a quick ten-hour drive west. We’ll be schnorring off of Sarah, Sam, Worthington the Owl, and the amazing two-year-old Morris, below. Got cake? Happy Holiday everybody! And, of course, Go Blue!

We’re going to let Owl Chatter’s Poet Laureate Ted Kooser have the last word tonight. This poem is from Winter Morning Walks. We’ve shared it before, and I’m sure we’ll share it again.

I saw the season’s first bluebird
this morning, one month ahead
of its scheduled arrival. Lucky I am
to go off to my cancer appointment
having been given a bluebird, and,
for a lifetime, having been given
this world.

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