Nearing the cusp of history: The Detroit Pistons of the NBA have not won a game since October — that’s 20 losses in a row. The all-time record is 28, but that spanned two seasons. The record for a single-season string is 26. You can do it boys! Focus! 

First thing we gotta do is change the team song. ”Don’t Worry; Be Happy” is not getting it done. Next, the team name. Maybe instead of the Pistons, it should be the Pistoffs. And who’s this guy? He’s not on the roster — call Security!

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This poem from today’s Writer’s Almanac is by George Bilgere and is called “Crusoe.”

When you’ve been away from it long enough,
You begin to forget the country
Of couples, with all its strange customs
And mysterious ways. Those two
Over there, for instance: late thirties,
Attractive and well-dressed, reading
At the table, drinking some complicated
Coffee drink. They haven’t spoken
Or even looked at each other in thirty minutes,

But the big toe of her right foot, naked
In its sandal, sometimes grazes
The naked ankle bone of his left foot,

The faintest signal, a line thrown

Between two vessels as they cruise
Through this hour, this vacation, this life,
Through the thick novels they’re reading,
Her toe saying to his ankle,

Here’s to the whole improbable story
Of our meeting, of our life together
And the oceanic richness
Of our mingled narrative
With its complex past, with its hurts
And secret jokes, its dark closets
And delightful sexual quirks,
Its occasional doldrums, its vast
Future we have already peopled
With children. How safe we are

Compared to that man sitting across the room,
Marooned with his drink
And yellow notebook, trying to write
A way off his little island.

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At 63A today the clue was “Hydrox competitor” and the answer was Crossworld’s favorite cookie: OREO. There was some grumbling. Youngsters had never heard of Hydrox — it was discontinued in 1999. It was brought back briefly for its 100th anniversary in 2008, and it’s being produced again by Leaf Brand which picked up the trademark when Kellogg abandoned it. Hydrox came first (1908), four years ahead of OREO.

I think the fellas in marketing dropped the ball on HYDROX. What kind of name is that for a cookie? It sounds like a detergent or a medication for bloating.

I felt the same way when McDonalds introduced the McWrap. What were they thinking?

In fact, Hydrox (the name) comes from hydrogen and oxygen, the two molecules in water. Yum! It differs from Oreo in that the filling is less sweet and the outer shell is crunchier and, when dipped, less soggy.

If you have a craving for some McCrap, you can still get it in the UK, Poland, Canada, and Australia.

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The clue at 32D today was “Peter who was the first actor to play a Bond villain” and the answer was LORRE. What? Peter Lorre was the first Bond villain? But wasn’t it that guy from Dr. No? 

It turns out there was a Bond before Sean Connery. In 1954, CBS paid Ian Fleming $1,000 (around $11,000 today) to adapt his novel “Casino Royale” into a one-hour television adventure as part of its Climax! series. It aired live in October of that year and starred Barry Nelson as Bond and Peter Lorre as Le Chiffre.

Here’s Barry Nelson — does he look very Bondian to you?

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According to Linda G., down in Florida, as we age, our songs get revised. 

Here are some:

From Herman’s Hermits — Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got a Lovely Walker.

The Bee Gees — How Can You Mend a Broken Hip?

Paul Simon — Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver

The Temptations: Papa’s Got a Kidney Stone

Johnny Nash: I Can’t See Clearly Now

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While I was in the dental chair this morning having two fillings toned up, Kevin said that he heard that the twelve days of Xmas song is really about twelve different birds. Some are obvious (partridge, turtle dove, swan, etc.) but maids-a-milking and lords-a-leaping are birds too. Here’s what I was able to pick up from a site called AZ Animals.

The obvious birds are partridge, turtle doves, French hens, geese, and swan. The “calling” birds were actually “colly” birds originally, meaning black as coal or soot. Hence, these are blackbirds. The five “rings” are ring-necked pheasants. Here’s one — hi, fella! (or gal)

The maids-a-milking are magpies, which are black with milky patches. These two are gorgeous, no?

The nine ladies dancing are either cormorants or cranes. Cormorants seem to dance elegantly because of their bobbing stance; cranes are also known for their mating dance. Here’s a crane gettin’ down (or up).

The lords-a-leaping are grey herons who leap into the air to take flight and look like hunched over old Jewish men when their necks are bent. They are often heard saying, “Oy, I’m going over there now, Yetta.”

The eleven pipers are sandpipers, and the twelve drummers are either woodpeckers or snipes. The latter’s tail vibrates with a drumming sound when they swoop down. (I have a cousin like that.)

So there are your twelve birds of Christmas. All that’s left is to sing the damn song — but not too loudly please — we don’t want to wake the two owls-a-napping.

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Guess who popped by today? at 51D, “Actress Knightley,” the hauntingly beautiful KEIRA, of course. That sister is thin though, amirite? Get her some latkes, Phil — I think there’s still some sour cream on the door. Keira, sit down, darling.

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See you tomorrow!