In late-breaking news, Owl Chatter has learned that Claudine Gay has resigned as president of Harvard. Apparently, Phil’s report on Gay’s pole dancing played a significant role. Several Board members complained that it was a completely inappropriate activity for an officer of the university; others complained that her pole technique was unimaginative and derivative. Ouch!

In sports news, The College of Biblical Studies womens basketball team forgot the eleventh commandment — Thou Shalt Work On Thy Foul Shots.  They probably forgot a few others too and lost to the Grambling State Lady Tigers 159 to 18.  That is not a typo.  It was 82-10 at halftime.

A loss like that leaves scars.  The headline in the school paper the next day was “Holy Shit!”  And point guard Lindsay Belmont said after the game “That’s the last time I put my faith in Jesus.  F*ck!”

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Hey everybody. We’re celebrating post #400 today! They all went by so fast. If I really focused and tried hard, I might remember about 3 of them. Maybe. I remember some of the ebb and flow. How we lost our dear friend and caterer, Yev Pregozhin. But we gained George Santos! Georgie — grab a seat — we’re just chillin’ today. Phil should be by soon, and Ana said she’ll try to drop in if traffic on the GWB isn’t too bad.

In sports, we made a lemonade of a baseball season out of the Gnats last-place finish (the lemons), and endured another Jets crash. Hopes are riding high on the UMich ‘Rines. They’re putting it all on the line versus the Washington Huskies on Monday. Go Blue!

Hey — here they are! – Georgie, let them in — it’s Ana and Phil. Hey guys, we were just reminiscing a little. What can we get you Ana? George keeps the fridge filled with diet soda. We’ll pick up some Jersey Mike’s later. Phil, help yourself to those IPAs. Just save me one.

So, Ana, any chance you’ll spill the beans on that third tattoo? We have the crescent moon on your wrist, above. And the famous tiny heart above your left ankle.

But the third one has everyone buzzing — a date in Roman numerals: Dec. 28, 2020. What’s that about? C’mon, you can tell us. 

OK, we’ll just consider it your dark secret, Madame de Armas.

So I’m going to dig into the past and pick out one oldie to reprise. That may be fun, no? Let’s see. Here’s an item from about a year ago — 12/28/2022. (OMG, there’s that date again! Eerie.)

The clue at 62A [on 12/28/2022] was “Size option at Starbucks,” for VENTI. Here’s LMS on it:

No place can make me feel like an outsider like Starbucks can. I feel like such an imposter that I can’t bring myself to say VENTI. I have to practically whisper medium black coffee, please and even then my face burns with embarrassment that I’m not spouting off VENTI iced skinny hazelnut macchiato, two pump, sugar-free syrup, extra shot, light ice, no whip.

T Trimble chimed in:

I feel not so much an impostor in a Starbucks (hi @Loren) as I do like Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm, who refuses to deal with the stupid lingo. “I’ll have a vanilla……….. one of the vanilla bullshit things, you know, you, whatever you want, some vanilla bullshit latte cappu thing, you know, whatever you got, I don’t care.” Barista guy: “You got it.”

Jackie Mason has some material on the topic too. Those high stools you have to sit on at some Starbucks. “You can’t get down — elderly Jews are sitting up there and they can’t get down. They have to ask for help from the Gentiles, ‘Please, mister, can you help me down from here, I could break a hip.’”

And Bill Maher noted: The longer the Starbucks order, the bigger the a**hole.

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We’re not the only ones looking back today. Lewis the commenter and puzzle analyst on Rex’s blog “published” his top clues/answers from 2023 today and I’ll share them with you, because they’re brilliant. You may have to invest a good bit of brainpower to “get” them, even after you’re given the answer. But it’s a good investment to make. (The answers are below, with the names of the constructors in parens.)

Clues

1. Only human, briefly (4)
2. It’s a mouthful, frankly (3)(3)(3)
3. One who’s out and about (11)[*my favorite]
4. ( and ) (4)
5. Illegal product that’s still made? (9)
6. Ones doing some heavy lifting before retirement? (5)
7. Acute … or the opposite of acute (5)
8. Walk in place? (5)(8)
9. Telenovela profession (2)(3)

Answers

ADAM (Alex Rosen) (Get it? He was “briefly” the only human)
HOT DOG BUN (Ada Nicolle)
SLEEPWALKER (Robyn Weintraub)
ARCS (Erik Agard)
MOONSHINE (Malaika Handa)
JACKS (John Nagamichi Cho)
GRAVE (David P. Williams)
FRONT ENRANCE (Tracy Bennett) (The “place” at which you walk in)
TE AMO (Brooke Husic and Brendan Emmet Quigley) (“Professing”    (your love) in Spanish)

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Ok everybody — we’re closing shop early today, so we can have a little staff celebration – Phil! — go upstairs and get the owls! Ana — what toppings do you like on your sub? Plasticware okay?

We’ll see you next time from California! Take care, everybody. Thanks for popping by for #400!