Sometimes a reputable news source like The Onion hits a matter of grave national importance so squarely on the head that we feel compelled to lead off our Owl Chatter post with it. Clearly, this is not one of those times. Here are two of today’s Onion headlines:

Judge Rules White Girl Will Be Tried As Black Adult

Trump Forced To Play Glockenspiel At Rally After Every Artist Bars Use Of Songs

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This short item was in the NYT today.

As part of the annual festival Jivitputrika Vrat, celebrated mostly in northern India and some parts of Nepal, women fast for 24 hours and offer special prayers for the long life and good health of their children. Mothers travel to rivers and ponds to bathe, sometimes accompanied by their children.

Across northern India during the festival, the authorities typically deploy police and divers to monitor devotees as they go into the water. Deadly stampedes during religious festivals are common in India, but widespread drownings are not. It was unclear on Thursday what safety measures were taken in Bihar.

At least 46 people drowned in Bihar as millions of Hindu devotees celebrated the three-day festival for the well-being of children, officials said on Thursday. Thirty-seven of those who died were children.

C’mon guys — Seriously?

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The Times also reported on an interview Fox News conducted with Trump’s wife Melatonin, in connection with the upcoming publication of her memoir “Melanie.” When asked how she felt about Trump’s running for office again, Magnolia made it clear she supported him. On the topic of the recent assassination attempts, Magnetite shared her husband’s view that hateful rhetoric spewed by the Democrats played a role. When the search the FBI conducted of her home came up, Mifepristone’s personal side came out:

“I saw unpleasant stuff that nobody wants to see it. And you get angry because, you know, nobody should be putting up with that kind of stuff. Some person — I don’t even know who or how many people — they, you know, they went through my stuff.”

Yup. Can’t be fun. Still lookin’ good, though, Babe.

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At 9D today, the puzzle refers to EGO death, a concept associated with LSD trips. Rex made it his “word of the day” and included the following: “In descriptions of drugs, the term is used synonymously with ego-loss to refer to (temporary) loss of one’s sense of self due to the use of drugs. The term was used as such by Timothy Leary et al. to describe the death of the ego in the first phase of an LSD trip, in which a ‘complete transcendence’ of the self occurs.”

It led to this exchange between two commenters:

First, Anony Mouse wrote:

I’m not comfortable with the NYT puzzles constantly normalizing the use of LSD. You wanna go trip on acid, enjoy. But it feels like the Times is trying to normalize its use. I’ve had more than one person in my life ruin their life from continued use. It is generally illegal, and wisely so, although there is some medical research being done to use it to treat certain psychological conditions. But it’s extremely dangerous unregulated stuff that shouldn’t be normalized in something as accessible as a puzzle. IMO, of course.

Commenter Kenny replied:

Your moralizing is out of place. I am a recovering alcoholic who has had life changing experiences using LSD, and am among the many people who have been helped by its effects on negative thought processes. Alcohol, on the other hand, nearly ruined my life (and here again I’m far from alone) by leading me into deep debt and deep depression, but is cheerfully promoted by puzzles on a near daily basis.

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Commenter Nancy lamented that she is simply unable to remember how ATTILA is spelled, no matter how many times he pops into the puzzle. She asked us to come up with a mnemonic for her. I couldn’t, but I wrote this short recollection, which I love:

On tricks to remember things — My wife and I (both in our 70s) were driving our granddaughter Lianna (14) to her first day of 8th grade. I asked her who her homeroom teacher was. She said “Mrs. Mackey.” I said, “Okay, to remember that, you can think of a Mack truck.” And my wife added “and then a key, like to unlock a door.” And Lianna looked at us funny and said “Why don’t I just remember Mackey?” Oh, to be young.

Rex has had three major simchas (joys) in his life just this week: His daughter’s 24th birthday; the 18th anniversary of his blog; and he and his wife’s wedding anniversary which he announced as follows:  Happy [counts on fingers … runs out of fingers … twice] 21st anniversary to my beautiful wife, Penelope, without whom … well, I don’t like to think about it. It’s not pretty. Love you, honey.

It moved me to share two of my favorite marital tips with the gang. I posted the following:

Happy Anniversary RP!

My wife and I celebrated our 40th in June. When we were getting married we read an article that said that what causes problems for couples are decisions. Disagreements over decisions can be very stressful. So we agreed early on that I’d be in charge of all the major, important decisions, and my wife would make all the smaller, minor ones. For example, she decides minor issues like where should we live? what schools should the kids go to? And I’m in charge of important matters like should we invade Iraq? Should we cut the defense budget? It’s worked out well for us.

We also agreed early on that no matter how stressful our lives became — with work, with the kids, etc. — no matter what — we would go out once a week for a romantic, candlelight dinner. It’s been great — she goes on Tuesdays and I go on Fridays.

It was very well received — four nice notes, thanking me for the laughs.

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Hey — almost forgot — Scarlett Johansson popped in (for her role in HER). It’s her first visit to Owl Chatter and, we hope, not her last. Don’t be a stranger, S! We’re running low with Georgie gone for so long, but I think I can still dig up a cold Fresca for you. Sit down — take a load off.

See you tomorrow!