This poem is called “Birdsong of Shaker Way” and is by Margaret-Ann Lim.
Every day is perfect, if
when you wake, you hear birds
in the garden, in the yard. Birds
up and down, ushering in one more day
in all the houses on Shaker Way. Birds
on telephone lines, light posts. Birds
twit, twittering on trees
hailing fellow birds
with a nod of beak—gray kingbird;
top-hatted, streamertail
tuxedoed, doctor bird—
busy-bodied hummingbird
tucking in, out, of pink, red ixoras
punch-drunk in love. Birds
preening for, chatting up other birds—
the oriole, the grass quit, in mid-song
on the lawn, in a dance of birds
an all-day-long conference of bird;
red-headed woodpecker
—drummer boy, or girl bird
in this daily symphony of birds
—an orchestra on Shaker Way
in serenade of each perfect day with birds—
from the very first mockingbird
heralding, in solo warble
one more day, filled with birds—
brightened, lightened, trilled by birds:
precious, diamond-throated
sweet song, miracle-toting birds
the-gift-of-day-is-here birds.
Bird, bird, bird. Hello bird.
You lift me up bird.
You sing the day beautiful, bird.
From The Onion:
Last Literate Person On Earth Dead At 98
ROUEN, FRANCE—Béatrice Berceau, the planet’s last literate person, died Monday, marking the end of an era. Berceau, widely renowned in her native France and around the world for her remarkable ability to decipher coded inscriptions of symbols printed on paper, was 98 years old.
“Béatrice’s death has officially ushered in the Post-Literate Age,” said Roland Habusch, head of Harvard University’s Department of Sound Bites and Pictograms. “No longer will we as a species have access to the information stored in the bound paper volumes known to Béatrice and our ancestors as ’books.’”
I have never ordered groceries for delivery. In Britain, apparently, if you place an order and an item is not available, unless you check off the box for no substitutions, they will make a substitution. Does this happen in the US?
Vicky Draisey asks the following in a post in the Dull Men’s Club (UK):
Who in their right mind decided a garlic (large) was an appropriate substitute for a grapefruit??
These are a few of the duller of the 62 comments:
William Morgan: Never underestimate an idiot; they will surprise you with their ingenuity
Anthony Des Desbois: This is what made me check that I always ticked no substitution on my online orders. Near Christmas during lockdown I ordered medjool dates and couldn’t understand how and why I had a mango.
Andy Burke: When life gives you garlic, make pastas ago e olio
Suzanne Knowles: I ordered cat litter and got Huggies nappies!
Fleur Davies: Exactly, and people are worried about computers taking over!
John Cant: Did humans learn nothing from the AI dystopian genre of films from the 90s & 00s?
Fleur: Did humans learn nothing from history?
Jon: That is completely fair, look at the US at the moment
Fleur: At the moment?
Carole Tolson: I got frozen broccoli instead of pomegranate seeds.
Hrrrrrrrrmph!
The puzzle was great today, IMO. Two ten-letter, four-word stacks. They included neat stuff like: SLOPPY KISS, REGULAR JOE, BONE MARROW, and CANTILEVER. The clue for SLOPPY KISS was “Overly warm welcome, maybe.” Egs noted if you leave one of those little foil-wrapped Hershey chocolates out in the sun, you’ll get a sloppy kiss. On INSIDE DOPE, he noted: No wonder I never get anywhere — people keep giving me the outside dope. At 52A, “Split without warning” was UP AND LEAVE. Egs wrote: “After teaching my dog ‘down’ and ‘stay’, I taught him UPANDLEAVE. Haven’t seen him since.” I added a quote of Bill Lee’s (Hi Don!) — Kansas is so flat you can stand on a chair and watch your dog leave you for three days.
Do you know about SAD KEANU? I love learning nonsense like this in puzzles. At 30A the clue was “Meme of the star of ‘John Wick’ looking downcast,” and the answer was SAD KEANU. It turns out there was a photo of Keanu Reeves taken by someone and it went viral on the internet. How viral? Well, it’s in the goddam NYT puzzle, for God’s sake.
The great Yankee ELSTON Howard was in the puzzle today, clued via his 1963 AL MVP. Hey Ellie! Who could ever replace the great Yogi Berra behind the plate for the Yanks? Well, Ellie did. He was the first Black on the Yankees, in 1955, eight years after Jackie broke the barrier. He played for the KC Monarchs in the Negro Leagues from ’48 to ’50, rooming with Ernie Banks for a time. Ellie was an All-Star twelve seasons and a six-time World Series champ. His number 32 was retired by the Yankees.
Here’s some trivia for you: he invented the “donut,” the circular thingie you slip onto a bat to increase its weight while you swing it in the on-deck circle. Josh Hart of the NBA Knicks is his grand-nephew. Ellie was only 51 when he died from a heart condition.
Good to see you in the puzzle today, El — rest in peace.
Heading up to Brandeis tomorrow for the Schwalberg memorial service. Full report to follow. Thanks for popping by.
The Wellington Files 