Credit where due: All it took was the invasion of a sovereign country and the brutal senseless murder of one U.S. citizen to get Epstein off the front pages. Well done, team!

Here is Renee Nicole Good. May she rest in peace.

Renee’s Instagram account displays a pride flag emoji and she describes herself as a “poet and writer and wife and mom.” Oddly, she forgot to include domestic terrorist. She has a degree in English from Virginia’s Old Dominion University. She was a Coloradan for most of her life. Her ex-husband described her as a devout Christian who loved to sing, and said she wasn’t an activist. Trump, Vance, Bondi, and their ilk couldn’t stumble over each other fast enough to tar her as a terrorist in defending her murderer.

Jesse Watters, FOX News asshole, felt it was important for his audience to know that Good had preferred pronouns in her bio and self-identified as a poet, no doubt implying it was okay to kill her. “Pronouns in her bio? A POET?!?!!” comedian Patton Oswalt noted.  “Why didn’t that brave ICE agent empty his full clip?”

Her murder, and the clear visual evidence of the blatant lies of the administration, are terrible markers of how debased our government has become. America is shrieking in pain.

May your memory be a blessing Renee.

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In the puzzle yesterday, starting us off at 1A was “______ canto,” with the answer BEL. Commenter Pablo said he had no trouble with it because there is a group with that name in his area. He said they were good singers who were also known as the “Can Beltos.” (Hi Pam! Good one?)

The theme was GRADE INFLATION, and in each theme answer you had to raise a letter grade by one. E.g., at 63A the clue was “Results of wearing some uncomfortable shoes.” You think the answer will be BLISTERS, but you need to inflate the B to an A, for the answer A-LISTERS.

The two best non-theme answers were at 47A, where “Tea traders?” was YENTAS. Get it? Tea is gossip. And at 32A, where “Benefactor with a limited number of grants,” was GENIE.

Do you know the Jewish genie joke? This little old Jewish guy rubs the lamp and a Jewish genie pops out. He says, you just get one wish, so be careful. The guy thinks a bit and then opens his wallet and takes out a little piece of paper. It’s a map of the middle east. He shows it to the genie, explains the situation with Israel and its neighbors and says his wish is for there to be peace in that region.

The genie explains that that sort of wish falls into the geo-socio-political area. He says most people wish for personal stuff like wealth or fame, and he asks the guy to reconsider. So the guy thinks a bit more, opens his wallet again, and this time he takes out a little photo of a wrinkled old lady and shows it to the genie. “This is my wife Sadie,” he explains. “For 60 years, she’s been the best wife a man could ask for, and I love her dearly. But she’s always been reluctant to engage in oral sex. So my wish is for oral sex with Sadie.”

The genie thinks for a minute and says: “Let me have another look at that map.”

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The Palm Beach Cardinals of the Florida State League (minor league baseball) will adopt an “alternate identity” for their Saturday home games this season. Alternate uniforms, alternate team logo, etc. They will be the Palm Beach Frozen Iguanas.

Of course, in Florida, “frozen” doesn’t really mean like ice frozen. Here’s the story.

Iguanas are all over Florida. One thing they like doing is climbing trees. Who wouldn’t? But they are cold-blooded. And when the temp drops to 45 they go into a (frozen) coma. It happens suddenly so those who are up in trees just plop out (see video, below). It’s not like: Ooh, it’s getting chilly, I better calmly climb down from this tree. It’s thud.

So, to honor these Floridians, the team will be the “Frozen Iguanas” at their Saturday home games. OC sports consultant Sarah Fillier loves it. “A different kind of frozen from hockey, but still good.”

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How’s this love note sound?

“Every day and every night I want to see you and be with you. Yet I have no feeling of selfish ownership or jealousy. Let’s go for a long ride Sunday; let’s go to the mountains weekends; let’s read books in front of fires; most of all, let’s really grow together and find the happiness we know is ours.”

Who wrote it to the woman he eventually married?

(a) Aaron Rodgers

(b) Richard Nixon

(c) Jimmy Fallon

(d) Mickey Rooney

Answer down below, after a while.

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At 1D today, “Small bit, in Bogotá” was POCO.

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The love note answer from above is Nixon. Yup. Written to his Pat, of course. It’s the man’s birthday today. Born in 1913, Yorba Linda, CA.

Here’s Pat. He could have done worse. Not sure she could have.

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Tom Cruise is flappin his lips about still expecting to work with Ana de Armas and maybe having another chance at romance. But our Phil and George find it laughable and delusional, two of their areas of expertise. “If he bothers you at all, Armas,” they calmly stated, “he will quickly learn how much expensive photographic equipment will fit up his ass.”

No! Not the cameras, Phil!

See you tomorrow, Chatterheads!

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