America is on fire. From sea to shining sea. Alex Pretti was only 37 years old and was a nurse, like our Caitlin. It is a caring profession. Others more eloquent than us are telling the tale. Everyone reading this shares our sorrow and rage. To honor Alex’s memory (and Renee’s), here is a picture and an old song.

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This “tiny love story” is by Alexander Lau. It’s called “The Decision to Embrace,” and is from today’s NYT.

Leon is in his high chair, giggling. Then — a crash. Bacon and potatoes everywhere. He laughs; I snap. Suddenly a full-time pandemic father, grappling with the identity loss of leaving my job, I feel anger flare white-hot. I yell, slam my hand down. Leon’s face crumples, lip trembling, eyes wet. He looks afraid. Just like that, the anger drains into shame. “I’m sorry,” I say, but he turns away. My wife takes over. That moment, I changed. Now a parent of two, I no longer see the challenges of parenthood as burdens, but as the opportunity to be a father.

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Robert Burns was born in Alloway, Scotland on this date in 1759. He was a tax collector. Also wrote poems and songs. Among his compositions was Auld Lang Syne. And Jumpin’ Jack Flash (no it wasn’t).

According to The Writer’s Almanac, upon writing his first poem, Burns observed: “There certainly is some connection between Love and Music and Poetry. I never had the least thought or inclination of turning Poet till I once got heartily in love, and then rhyme and song were, in a manner, the spontaneous language of my heart.”

Happy Birthday Bob!

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In yesterday’s puzzle, the clue for TURBAN was cute: “It may wind up at the top of one’s head.” Commenter RickS confessed that he filled in AIRBUN before getting TURBAN, and asked: “Who knows, maybe an airbun is a thing?” Which led me to reply: Yes, according to Miriam Webster, an “airbun” is what you’re left with when you grab at someone’s tush but they pull away in time.

Most commenters appreciated GENDER EUPHORIA as an answer yesterday, but some complained about the clue which was “Feeling that a new haircut or a new set of clothes might bring.”

Kitshef: I don’t get how the GENDER EUPHORIA clue relates to the answer.

Lynn: I agree. The clue for GENDER EUPHORIA was very general. Everyone gets new haircuts and new clothes.

tht: To make sense of GENDER EUPHORIA, it might help to set it against gender dysphoria, in order to imagine how something that might seem so quotidian like getting a hair cut can take on an entirely different significance for someone who has suffered from gender dysphoria. I thought the clue-answer pairing were great, and also thought-provoking.

Les. S. More: I agree with you that GENDER EUPHORIA is a really nice answer but I think the clue, though colourful, was a bit weak. If I have to infer the answer’s opposite (euphoria/dysphoria) to understand it, that should be hinted at in the clue. And I don’t think it was. Getting a haircut or new clothes can spur a kind of euphoria, but it doesn’t necessarily include gender identification.

JeffLett: Hairstyles and clothes are strongly tied to people’s perception of gender roles, enough so that it’s very common for people to be teased or even bullied for not having the “right kind” for their gender. Even though what counts as “masculine” and “feminine” has changed drastically over the centuries! So for people who maybe grew up teased for their style choices to finally boldly and confidently wear them — it must feel good.

Jacke: GENDER EUPHORIA was not clued as a universal phenomenon ⸺ it specifically says “might.” Incidentally though, there is an interesting discussion to have about whether it is experienced by everyone. I’m pretty sure that the underlying feeling is similar to when a cis-lady finds a very becoming dress, or a cis-gentleman gets swole at the gym for instance. It’s less likely to achieve the level of euphoria, probably, because the good gender feels are closer to those people’s baseline gender experience. And of course it’s not consciously identified as related to gender because cis people in general do not think about how weird it is that, e.g., mainly only women feel actualized in a becoming dress.

Let’s give Carola the last word: “GENDER EUPHORIA was new to me as a phrase but immediately brought to mind the photo of someone very dear to me after they’d gotten their first haircut that matched their gender identity – the most joyful smile ever.”

I googled the term and then clicked on “images.” Hi kids!

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At 61D today, “V-shaped designs” was CHEVRONS. This lyric came immediately to mind.

See the geese in chevron flight
Flapping and racing on before the snow…
They’ve got the urge for going
And they’ve got the wings to go.

It’s Joni’s song, of course. When she sings it, below, I love watching how the men look at her.

I first saw Tom Rush perform in Ann Arbor at The Ark. It was an orientation weekend for Sam at Umich and they took him away from me. So I plopped down $25 for the show and saw it alone. One of the best shows I’ve ever seen. Hysterical stories that had me in tears laughing, followed by wrenching songs that had me in tears again, crying. I saw him several times after that and he was always wonderful, but never as brilliant a storyteller as that first time at The Ark.

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At 127A, “Chips may go into it,” was ONION DIP. I liked this note from Anony Mouse: My superpower is the ability to finish a (large) bag of Ruffles at the exact same time as a (small) tub of ONION DIP.

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At 107A, the clue was “Symbol of transformation in The Silence of the Lambs.” The answer was MOTH. And Anony Mouse wrote: I like to watch the credits at the end of movies, there is good stuff in there sometimes! I especially like oddball credits (e.g., Malcom X had a “Stunt Waitress” credit). One of my favorite odd credits is in Silence of the Lambs: someone is credited as “Moth Wrangler and Stylist” (which would be pretty good on its own!), but if you wait another minute or so, after umpteen intervening credits, they list an “Assistant Moth Wrangler and Stylist!”

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Thanks for stopping by. See you tomorrow!