Chris Horsley, of the Dull Men’s Club (UK) posted this plea for help: I’m in a hotel in Montenegro, and the symbols in the lift are causing me some trouble. Obviously I get the ‘no smoking’ symbol, but the others are leaving me dumbfounded. Any assistance appreciated.
The membership leapt to the task.
John Gale:
No unaccompanied children
Children with adults ok
No child left unattended
Whispy magical fairy breeze symbol
No smoking
Keith Dilworth: No loners or couples of equal height in the Piazza.
Trudi Johnson: You’re going to be chased by eels.
Mark Hall: Are they serving pizza in the dungeons?
Tristan White: I am assuming there are toilets down there. No two adults in the same cubicle (you sometimes get that in London clubs, to prevent insufflation of powders). Children however are allowed, in fact it’s compulsory, to be accompanied into the cubicles by their parent. Next sign is no pissing on the floor, obviously (and perhaps the reason why adults must supervise their children, though in my experience us adults are the most to blame for this mishap).
John J. O’Malley: Insufflation indeed.
The execrable Bill BARR was in the puzzle yesterday, boringly clued as former AG Bill, and it re-opened the issue of whether there are people or things so unpleasant that they should be, ahem, barred from the puzzle? E.g., the NYT does not allow Hitler as an answer, even if appropriately clued with something like “monster of historic proportions.” There was also an ARCH that a military parade might march through, conjuring images of Trump’s idiotic arch plans. It all led egs to write this song parody:
My Least Favorite Things
ICE agents kicking down doors of my neighbors
Oligarchs stealing the fruits of my labors
People in MAGA hats worshipping kings
These are a few of my least favorite things
Not having health care to cure our diseases
Low IQ grifter who does what he pleases
Cheesy fake fighting in White House lawn rings
These are a few of my least favorite things
When a war’s launched
Between golf swings
When the Court’s gone mad
I simply remember my least favorite things
And then I sure feel real bad
My favorite news story this week is nothing to sneeze at. Over 220 recruits at Lackland AFB have fallen ill with the flu. One died, although it’s not yet clear if his death was caused by the flu. This comes just two months after Secretary of Idiocy Hegseth ended the military’s longstanding requirement that service members receive annual flu vaccinations. After the policy change, the vaccination rate dropped from nearly 100% to roughly 40%. The Secretary called the mandate “absurd, not rational.” Hard to imagine reality has changed his tune. It never does with these folks.
Gesundheit!
Ever have a beer in the shower? Me neither, but it’s enough of a thing that it made it into the puzzle yesterday, SHOWER BEER, clued with “Cold one enjoyed during a hot wash.” A lot of commenters were familiar with it. Let’s say you’re hot and sweaty from the beach or work. You grab a cold can of Bud Lite and take it into the shower with you. Ideally, it’s a tub shower so there is space for it away from the soap and water and a safe spot on which it can rest. My thought: Are you an alcoholic? You can’t wait three minutes?
We don’t feature too many punk rock tunes in OC, but, really, this poor fellow just wanted a Pepsi. Would it have killed his mom to give him one? Pepsi was an answer in the puzzle on Thursday so Son Volt shared this song with us. It’s by California punk band Suicidal Tendencies from 1983, and is called “Institutionalized.”
I was in my room
And I was just like, staring at the walls thinking about everything
But then again, I was thinking about nothing
And then my mom came in, and I didn’t even know she was there
She called my name and I didn’t hear her
And then she started screaming, “Mike, Mike”
And I go, “What? What’s the matter?”
She goes, “What’s the matter with you?”
I go, “There’s nothing wrong, mom”
She goes, “Don’t tell me that, you’re on drugs”
I go, “No mom, I’m not on drugs, I’m okay, I’m just thinking, you know? Why don’t you get me a Pepsi?”
She goes, “No, you’re on drugs”
I go, “Mom, I’m okay, I’m just thinking”
And she goes, “No, you’re not thinking, you’re on drugs
Normal people don’t act that way”
I go, “Mom, just get me a Pepsi, please? All I want’s a Pepsi”
And she wouldn’t give it to me
All I wanted was a Pepsi
Just one Pepsi
And she wouldn’t give it to me
Just a Pepsi
Several answers I played with today were: WEEB. Weeb Ewbank was the coach of the Jets when they won their one ever Super Bowl several hundred years ago. Other answers were NOTMYFINESTWORK, PLOTPOINT, and RENEE (Fleming).
Here’s what I came up with:
As a long-suffering Jets fan, it was great to see WEEB Ewbank in the puzzle. Even though he led the Jets to their only Super Bowl win, many fans today don’t remember what his Namath.
Ironically, the author’s assessment of his lesser novels, which he published under the title NOT MY FINEST WORK, was hailed by critics as his finest work. In one of his novels, he managed to have the plot lines converge at a PLOT POINT so brilliantly, I plotzed.
Subject line for office memo on the use of maiden names: RENEE
Enough nonsense. See you tomorrow.
The Wellington Files 