The Wellington Files

  • Fingerprints!

    Riddle: Something that all four of these things may have: old dishes, British pub, shoulders, poker table. (Answer below.)

    Owl Chatter is delighted to report we located a specimen of a highly endangered species: The decent Republican. Ohio Governor Mike DeWine vetoed the anti-trans bill that had passed in the state legislature. It would have restricted both transition-related care for minors and transgender girls’ participation on school sports teams.

    DeWine said the “gut-wrenching” decision about whether a minor should have access to gender-affirming care “should not be made by the government, should not be made by the state of Ohio,” rather it should be made by the child’s parents and doctors.

    More than a dozen major medical organizations — including the AMA, the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Psychological Association — support access to transition-related care for minors and have opposed the state bans.

    I don’t think DeWine could have slept at night if he went along with the hatemongers and child-killers for crass political gains. It’s a wonder all those others can.

    Answer to the riddle: Chips.

    So we watched Moon last night, starring Sam Rockwell. It was decent but not great. Sam was great. Can’t recommend it.

    Checked on the Pistons after that. Holy Cow! They were up in Boston where the Celts are invincible and heavy favorites, like fuhgedaboutit. But when I went online to find the score Detroit was only losing by three, 106-103, and as I was looking at it, they tied it up. It turns out they had been ahead by 19 at halftime. Incredible. But the third quarter was a disaster and the lead dissy-pated. In the end, the game went into OT and the Pistons lost. Whew. It’s loss after loss, but they’re pretty intense lately. Good games.

    I tell this story in my law class when we cover notes and drafts (negotiable instruments). I tell them it’s a story about a different type of note – a love note.

    When Sam was just a little boy, in 3rd grade, he came home from school one day so upset I got worried. He was drenched in sweat and hyperventilating. I said, “Sam, what’s wrong?” I thought we might have to take him to the ER. He said he was in big trouble. “What?,” I asked. He said he wrote a secret love note to a girl in his class, Amanda, and he was was worried she’d find out it was from him.

    Well, that was a relief (for me). I said, “Okay, let’s go over all the details. Sometimes when you do that, you see that there’s nothing to worry about.” I just made that up and had no idea if it was true, but I thought it was a good way to get the story out of him.

    “So, what steps did you take to keep it a secret?,” I asked him.

    “Well, I didn’t put my name on it.”

    “He’s a genius!,” I thought.

    “I typed it, so she wouldn’t see my handwriting.”

    “Okay.” (This was back in the pre-computer days. We had an electric typewriter Sam liked to play with.)

    “And I made sure I was wearing gloves whenever I touched the paper.”

    “Why the gloves?” I asked. It was June and 80 degrees out.

    He looked at me like I was a complete idiot. “Fingerprints, Dad!”

    Of course! Sam had received a “detective kit” for his birthday, so he knew all about fingerprints. (BTW, thanks to the Fisher/Price people, your typical ten-year-old in this country is perfectly capable of pulling off a bank job.)

    “Okay,” I said. “It looks like you’re pretty safe. How did you get the note to Amanda?”

    He told me he gave it to her friend Emily to put in her book bag.

    “What!? You’re dead, Sam! Emily’s one of them. She’s on her team. Of course, she’s going to tell Amanda it was you!”

    But Sam said he was absolutely certain Emily was trustworthy. He wasn’t worried about that part of it.

    “Alright, alright,” I said. “Sounds good. But let’s say, worst case scenario, Amanda does find out. Why would that be so bad?”

    “Oh, no, Dad,” Sam said. ”I put too much love in it.”

    Like there could be such a thing.

    “Well, what did it say?”

    He started pulling little snippets of paper out of his pocket. His teacher that year was a big believer in rough drafts, so Sam made a rough draft of his note to Amanda. 

    “What’s that one?,” I asked.

    “That’s a draft of the note Greg wrote to Erin.” Aha! It turned out this was all Greg’s brilliant idea on the love notes. He was writing to Erin, and Sam was writing to Amanda.

    “What does Greg’s note say?,” I asked Sam, and he handed it to me.

    First of all, Greg spelled Erin incorrectly: Instead of ERIN, he wrote ERNI.

    “Dear Erni,” it began.

    I said, “Sam, I’m no expert in affairs of the heart, but it seems to me if you are writing a love note to someone you should spell their name right. How did you spell Amanda?”

    Now he was panicked all over again. ”A-M-A-N-D-A,” he said. 

    “Good! And what did you write to Amanda?”

    He said, “I wrote: Dear Amanda, my heart goes for you.”

    I said, “Sam, that’s beautiful. You’re only in third grade and you’ve already matched the most beautiful sonnets of Shakespeare. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” 

    And he didn’t. Amanda never discovered who sent her the note.

    So I tell that story ever semester, and I say “So the next time you are alone with your special someone, and the lights are turned down low, and your favorite song is playing on your iPad, turn to him, or her, and say ‘Darlin’, my heart goes for you.’ And make sure you’re wearing gloves!“

    How proud would you be if your little girl stood up to all of Trump’s crap and booted him off the ballot? Here’s Shenna Bellows and her dad Dexter. They’re from Maine. Keep an eye out for her, Dad — it may get ugly.

    Sweet smiles to close on. Good night, folks. See you tomorrow.

  • Gravity and Pastrami

    Gonna stay up late Sunday night? Not me. Owl Chatter closes early New Year’s Eve, and we’re in bed with the owls well before midnight. But there was a nod to it in the puzzle today at 50D: ”What many children are told not to do on Christmas Eve, but encouraged to do on New Year’s Eve.” Ans: STAY UP. 

    Remember this great Talking Heads video?

    Did you know that more pigs live in IOWA than people? Yup, that’s according to 38D. Oink.

    Rex shared only one holiday pet pic today, but it was a heartbreaker. Here’s the note it came with: My family had to put down our beloved dog Kairos today [Dec. 14], just shy of his ninth Christmas. Although he couldn’t do the NYT crossword, he loved sitting at our feet while we did 🙂 Here he is last year waiting to unwrap his frisbees:

    At 5A, the clue was “Deity from whose hair flows the river Ganga.” Ans: SHIVA. In the Jewish version of the puzzle, the clue was “Something you sit.”

    My first ever post on Rex’s blog was about a puzzle that had the Nordic Cross as its theme. My post noted that in the Jewish version they used a mezuzah.

    When we sent Phil out on the Nordic Cross assignment, he sent this in. I’m just gonna let it go.

    Frank Bruni’s newsletter today reprises his favorite selections from his “For the love of sentences” feature from 2023. To no surprise, many are wonderful. If you were a fan of Friday Night Lights (Hi Joe), you certainly remember Riggins, played by the Canadian actor Taylor Kitsch. Alexis Soloski wrote of him in the NYT: “There’s a lonesomeness at the core of him that makes women want to save him and men want to buy him a beer. I am a mother of young children and the temptation to offer him a snack was sometimes overwhelming.”

    He is f*cking gorgeous, amirite?

    Also in The Times, Nathan Englander contrasted Tom Cruise in his 50s with a typical movie star of that age 50 years ago: “Try Walter Matthau in ‘The Taking of Pelham 123.’ I’m not saying he wasn’t a dreamboat. I’m saying he reflects a life well lived in the company of gravity and pastrami.”

    In The LA Times, Jessica Roy explained the stubborn refusal of plastic bags to stay put: “Because they’re so light, they defy proper waste management, floating off trash cans and sanitation trucks like they’re being raptured by a garbage god.”

    And, last, this amazing sentence I’ve shared before:

    In WaPo, the book critic Ron Charles warned of censorship from points across the political spectrum: “Speech codes and book bans may start in opposing camps, but both warm their hands over freedom’s ashes.”

    Will Shortz stumped me with his Brain Tickler yesterday. Here it is: The following five words have something highly unusual in common. The name of what five-letter country could be added to the list?

    AQUARIUM  CANCEL  CRIES  LEG  PIECES

    The solution appears below.

    The Pistons losing streak inspired the NYT to reminisce about other historic losers. It’s not exactly pro sports, but the Washington Generals is the exhibition team that plays the Harlem Globetrotters. The Gens play the roles of “punching bag and straight man” to the high-flying comedic ‘Trotters. They play over 200 games a year and the Generals are supposed to lose them all — it’s how the show goes. And, according to The Times, they have lost roughly 20,000 times. But on the night of Jan. 5, 1971, something broke loose from the chains of history. Here’s the report:

    The Generals — who were playing as the “New Jersey Reds” — and the Globetrotters played an unusual game that night, with Harlem pulling fewer stunts and fewer comedic gags than usual. Globetrotters captain and team legend Curly Neal sat out, and it turned into more of a classic basketball game than most Globetrotter events.

    Washington raced out to a lead, which wasn’t unusual. What was unusual was the Globetrotters losing track of the score and failing to complete their usual dramatic comeback. Generals owner and founder Red Klotz checked himself into the game in the final seconds and hit the go-ahead basket to put Washington up 100-99.

    Even after the timekeeper inexplicably stopped the clock to give Harlem one last shot, the Globetrotters couldn’t continue their winning streak as the crowd sat there dumbfounded. Some children reportedly cried in the stands.

    “They looked at us like we killed Santa Claus,” Klotz later said.

    Overall, legend has it the Generals may have won as many as six games. But none as stunning as the streak-breaker that night.

    OK, puzzlers — give up, like I did? Each of those words, above, can become a sign of the zodiac by changing one letter. LEG becomes LEO; CANCEL becomes CANCER; CRIES, ARIES, etc. And the country LIBYA becomes LIBRA.

    D’oh!

    Damn you, Will Shortz!

    Anybody see or hear of the movie Moon? It was a science fiction film released in 2009 starring Sam Rockwell. Kaya Scodelario is in it too. You may recall her from Wuthering Heights and Pirates of the Caribbean. Some of the puzzle comments on it make it sound interesting. I may try to catch it on Prime. Here’s Kaya, chortling at one of Phil’s idiotic jokes. (It’s a gift.)

    Joe Gow is 63 and was the Chancellor of U of Wisconsin-La Crosse since 2007 up to, well, yesterday. He had announced that he would be stepping down at the end of this school year, but the Board of Regents felt it was really really really time for him to go, like, right away. And yet just last August UW System President Jay Rothman said of Gow: “This is a hallmark of excellent stewardship. He has provided a steady hand through challenging times and met the moment when we needed him.” Wha hoppen, mon?

    There had been a little glitch back in 2018 when he invited a female porn star to speak on campus, during “free speech” week, for which she was paid a $5,000 speaker’s fee. There was a teensy-beensy public outcry over it, and Gow was reprimanded for poor judgment and denied a pay raise due to it. He also reimbursed the school the $5,000. In retrospect, that was a harbinger of the truckloads of sh*t that hit the fan this week.

    It turns out Gow and his wife are very active in the porn industry, under assumed names, and have been active participants in films and publications. The University went bonkers. Rothman said: “In recent days, we learned of specific conduct by Dr. Gow that has subjected the university to significant reputational harm. His actions were abhorrent.”

    Board of Regents President Karen Walsh said Gow showed “a reckless disregard” for his role as a UW-La Crosse leader. ”We are alarmed, and disgusted, by his actions, which were wholly and undeniably inconsistent with his role as chancellor.”

    To which we strongly add, hrummmmmph!

    Gow says he was denied due process and maintains that the creation of books and videos exploring consensual adult sexuality falls within his right to free speech under the First Amendment.

    Gow and his wife knew the risks they were taking. In 2015 they wrote: “We think our sex is beautiful and have no qualms at all about other people watching us make love. But our establishment colleagues likely would be shocked to watch us complete the full carnal process – particularly with professional porn stars – and we’re fairly certain we’d be shunned in our community. Our careers likely would be ruined, and what’s worse is that the lives of our families and friends also could be impacted significantly, and not in a positive way.”

    Ya think?

    So, folks — the next time you make an error in judgment, don’t be too hard on yourselves. You ain’t come close to these idiots. 

    Here are the Mr. and Mrs. (Actually, OC hopes things work out for you guys. You are not the enemy.)

    Good night, everybody. Thanks for stopping by. See you tomorrow.

  • Cade

    Are you an old movie buff or Hitchcock fan? Veteran Rex poster Nancy administered a quiz yesterday. She listed six quotes from Hitchcock films and you were to identify the films. Here are the quotes; the answers appear way below. She warned that she was citing the quotes from memory, but if they are off it’s only by a bit.

    1)”He was looking at HER face, but he was strangling ME!”

    2) “That’s the problem with latch keys — they all look the same.”

    3) [Holding up his hand] “Are you sure you don’t mean THIS one?”

    4) “Mother, I’m married to an American agent!”

    5) “Do nuns wear high heels?”

    6) [Written on a matchbox] “They’re onto you. I’m in your room.”

    The Pistons set the record last night, losing to Brooklyn 118-112. It was a good game and I found myself pulling for them and sad that they lost. They have an outstanding player: Cade Cunningham, who scored 41 points. But he doesn’t have enough support and Brooklyn ain’t bad: they are at .500 now. More amazing than Detroit’s 27 consecutive losses is that their record over their last 55 games is 4-51. Last night, they were ahead by 7 with 8 minutes to go, but Brooklyn exploded and couldn’t be stopped.. 

    Here’s Cade. He’s from Texas and played college ball at Oklahoma State for one year before turning pro. He was the first overall pick in the 2021 draft. He was asked about the streak after the game: ”It affects us all the time,” he said. “Everywhere.”

    Continuing in a sad key, today’s poem in The Writer’s Almanac is by Louise Katz and is called “Careless World.”

    This is a careless world without your voice.
    Courtesy is gone; nobody tips their hats.
    There is no one to name the shrubs and birds,
    To suggest a heavier coat.
    You watched while I stood by the window
    Saying goodbye to Sixth Avenue.
    The pavement was always being torn away.
    Watching the hammers
    I kissed the glass four times;
    Once for you and mother
    And Richard and me.
    You knew that four was a special number,
    My number for watching things end.
    You, at the door, made the room mine.
    In five months I have lost your voice.
    Its tone, a clearing throat;
    Trailing off, “be a good girl.”

    Today’s puzzle theme was dinosaur-y. Answers contained the names of well-known dinos, but with “saurus” left off. E.g., BRONTO, STEGO, etc. Then at 33D the clue was “Writer’s reference … or what each row of shaded letters is missing?” and the answer was THE “SAURUS.” Get it? (Thesaurus) Also, each dino name was broken up by a black square and the clue/answer at 4D was “What had a major impact on this puzzle’s theme?” — ASTEROID. The idea is that the extinction of the dinos was caused by an asteroid’s hitting Earth. 

    Commenter Bill adds: The asteroid that caused the extinction of the dinosaurs – about 65 million years ago – is considered by many evolutionary biologists to be the most important event (like, ever) in the evolution of mammals. Since we’re the “alpha” species, and we are really just fancy mammals (with all the available “upgrades”), without Chixulub, there would be no hominids, no humans, and the world would still be pristine but savage.

    The Chicxulub crater is an impact crater buried underneath the Yucatán Peninsula in Mexico. Its center is offshore, but the crater is named after the onshore community of Chicxulub Pueblo. It was formed slightly over 66 million years ago when a large asteroid, about six miles in diameter and 12 miles in depth, struck Earth. It is the second largest confirmed impact structure on Earth, and the only one whose peak ring is intact and directly accessible for scientific research.

    Another issue that arose is whether the name Brontosaurus has been canceled. According to Wanderlust, “Paleontologists decided that it and Apatosaurus were really the same beast so they dropped BRONTO because Apatosaurus was named first. So it died out in more ways than one.”

    But then kitshef chimed in: ”Brontosaurus has been resurrected as a dino name … or not, depending on which classification you believe. Many paleontologists recognize two genera, Brontosaurus and Apatosaurus; others lump them all into Apatosaurus.”

    If you’re at all squeamish, please skip the next few photos. These two specimens have done worse than go extinct — they eventually became teenagers. Flee! Run for your life!!

    “Novelist King” at 26D wasn’t Stephen, it was his wife TABITHA. She’s also a writer. They’ve been married for over 50 years and have three kids: Two sons who are also writers, and a daughter who is a Unitarian minister.

    Answers to Hitchcock quiz:

    1) STRANGERS ON A TRAIN
    2) DIAL M FOR MURDER
    3) THE 39 STEPS
    4) NOTORIOUS
    5) THE LADY VANISHES
    6) NORTH BY NORTHWEST

    Here’s a cat who likes to check in with Rex’s blog after finishing the puzzle. Her name is Nellie.

    See you tomorrow!

  • Soup of the Night

    A short news item on the radio reminded me of how lucky I am to be able to crank out this nonsense sitting in my warm house in my warm robe with a hot cup of coffee by the side of my laptop. It’s another thing entirely to find humor in life’s most difficult circumstances. The item was about Alexei Navalny, Putin’s foe whom he imprisoned. Navalny “disappeared” a few weeks ago and his family and supporters worried that he was killed. But he resurfaced; it turns out he was relocated to a very harsh penal colony up near the Arctic Circle. He was able to get a message out that took note of his “polar” location: “I’m your new Santa Clause,” he said. Extraordinary. Alexei, please come see us when you can — we just “relocated” you into the Owl Chatter Hall of Fame.

    The other story of humor under pressure is about our friend Neal Grossman (alav hashalom). Neal was suffering from an unknown illness that was steadily weakening him and the docs were at a loss. He was in Cornell-Weill, a leading hospital and medical research center in NYC, but the best docs were having trouble getting a handle on it. They consulted with outside experts and asked Neal if he’d be okay meeting with a group of them. He said, “Of course.” So they set up a small auditorium with all the doctors and staff sitting in the audience, and Neal and his main doc were down on stage. The doc explained the situation, and introduced Neal, and thanked him for attending the meeting.

    Neal took the microphone, looked up at the docs, and said: ”This will cost you $200. And if you want naked: 300.” The room exploded.

    Now, tbh, that’s the story as Neal told it. I believe it. But it is possible it’s an “embellishment.” I never tried to nail him down on it, and he’s gone now.

    Here’s our new Russian Santa with his beautiful family, in happier times.

    The exquisite SALMA Hayek is in the grid today! — at 20D. (“Actress Hayek.” Who else could it be: Yetta? Mimi? Of course it’s SALMA.)

    Some folks are so beautiful you have to turn them down a few notches or you’ll go blind. It’s like staring into the sun. That goes for both men and women (though it’s mostly women). So Phil wisely shot Salma with shades on and wearing a not-too-sexy outfit. Still, it may be good to keep an ambulance idling nearby.

    Come on in, SH, how’s your daughter Valentina? Sixteen already, wow. Salma, of course, is of Mexican descent. Feliz Navidad! .

    We received a card today from friends Remon and Nancy (I call them “The Ramones,” of course), who relo-ed to ‘Zona to be closer to their beautiful daughter Jessica and their two gorgeous grandkids. It was a combination “holiday and here’s-our-new-address card.” I sent back a holiday card on which I wrote: ”This is a test of your new address. If you receive this card, no further action is necessary. If you do not receive it, please call us immediately.” 

    Wait, what?

    In Baltimore’s solid win over SF last night, there was a weird play that led to the score being 2-0 SF — odd for a football score. Baltimore’s QB, former league MVP Lamar Jackson, was pedaling backward for his life, fleeing SF pursuers (or perusers, right George?). The ref was back-pedaling alongside him, because that’s what they do, to stay near the action. But the ref fell on his ass, just as Jackson turned in his direction. Jackson fell too and since this took place in the end zone, if he were tackled it would be a safety for SF and two points. So Jackson threw the ball away: a harmless incomplete pass. The problem was there was no receiver nearby, so Jackson was called for intentional grounding and SF got their two points anyway. I didn’t think they should have called it because the ref’s falling played a role in the play. But it’s the right call — the ref is treated as part of the field, and what happens happens. 

    Remember those “wanna get away” ads? What’s the poor ref thinking?

    The ref wasn’t the only one who fell on his ass yesterday. Tony Romo announcing the Chiefs’ earlier game referred to Taylor Swift as Travis Kelce’s “wife,” watching in the stands. He corrected himself and said “girlfriend,” but the gaffe did not go unnoticed. Romo’s partner, Jim Nantz said “You’ve been down that road with that before,” which made no sense to me. But it turns out Romo made the same “mistake” at an earlier game attended by Swift. Is TR playing matchmaker? Stay tuned. (Hi Tay!)

    Turning back to the puzzle, at 45A, “Fashion designer Kamali” was NORMA. I’m supposed to know that? On a Tuesday?? Ref — get off your ass and blow the damn whistle! Well, the crosses were okay, so there’s that. Norma Kamali, who is 78 now and still active, is best known for the “sleeping bag” coat, garments made from silk parachutes, and versatile multi-use pieces. OMG! — get this fellas — she designed the red one-piece bathing suit worn by Farrah Fawcett in the iconic 1976 poster. It’s in the Smithsonian. (Not kidding.)

    She also designed the bathing suit worn by Whitney Houston on the back cover of her debut album.

    Kamali reached a peak of fame during the early 1980s with her “Sweats” collection, a variety of casual garments done in sweatshirt fabric, most famously flounced, hip-yoked miniskirts called rah-rah skirts in the UK, for which dirty old men are thankful to this day. Here’s one of my tax students sporting a rah rah. She appears to be stumped on one of the exam questions too.

    That reminds me — Phil still hasn’t come back from that assignment. Santos, check the local hospitals and jails!

    The New Yorker that arrived in the mail today contains a review of “Ferrari” by Anthony Lane, who can be very funny. It stars Adam Driver as Enzo Ferrari. Lane writes:

    “Motorsport in the era of ‘Ferrari’ is a matter not of do or die but, as Enzo understands, of do and die. Yet he is not doing the dying.

    “To an extent, Driver is an odd choice for the leading role. In no respect does he resemble the real Ferrari, who looked like a hybrid of Rodney Dangerfield and Salman Rushdie.”

    Really?

    Since I spent a good amount of space lambasting The New Yorker for cartoons that were the opposite of funny, I should give them credit when it’s due. I really like this one by Liana Finck.

    All eyes will be on the Pistoffs at 7 pm tonight as they take on Brooklyn in Motown with the consecutive loss record on the line. I’ll be able to watch since the Brooklyn games are televised here at OC headquarters. Full report to follow in tomorrow’s post.

    Gotta go now. Too nervous. Thanks for popping by.

  • Quilt Cookies

    Merry Christmas, Owl Chatter guests. It’s so quiet here in our New Jersey headquarters. I slept very late, for me (9:30), and Wilma the owl is still out, with hubby Welly by her side, watching over her with his big kind eyes.

    The poem by Maxine Kumin in today’s Writer’s Almanac is called “Rejoicing with Henry.”

    Not that he holds with church, but Henry goes
    Christmas morning in a tantrum of snow,
    Henry, who’s eighty-two and has no kin
    and doesn’t feature prayer, but likes the singing.

    By afternoon the sun is visible,
    a dull gun-metal glint. We come to call
    bearing a quart of home-made wine a mile
    and leading Babe, our orphaned hand-raised foal.

    This gladdens Henry, who stumps out to see
    Babe battle the wooden bridge. Will she
    or won’t she? Vexed with a stick she leaps across
    and I’m airborne as well. An upstate chorus
    on Henry’s radio renders loud
    successive verses of “Joy to the World.”

    In spite of all the balsam growing free
    Henry prefers a store-bought silver tree.
    It’s lasted him for years, the same
    crimped angel stuck on top. Under, the same
    square box from the Elks. Most likely shaving cream,
    says Henry, who seldom shaves or plays the host.

    Benevolent, he pours the wine. We toast
    the holiday, the filly beating time
    in his goat shed with her restive hooves. That’s youth
    says Henry when we go to set her loose,
    Never mind. Next year, if I live that long,
    she’ll stand in the shafts. Come Christmas Day
    we’ll drive that filly straight to town.
    Worth waiting for, that filly. Nobody says

    the word aloud: Rejoice. We plod
    home tipsily and all uphill to boot,
    the pale day fading as we go
    leaving our odd imprints in the snow
    to mark a little while the road
    ahead of night’s oncoming thick clubfoot.

    There was a lovely back-and-forth among the comments to Rex’s blog today. At 12:27 am, okanaganer, after some puzzle chatter, wrote: ”Alone tonight, but hopefully tomorrow night will be spent with what remaining family I have.”

    At 8:59, Anonymous posted: ”Never alone when you have the blog. Merry Christmas my friend.”

    [Am I getting soft? That has me near tears.]

    Rex was effusive about his daughter being home (from college in NYC) for the holiday. He reported (with three pics) on his wife’s and her “ridiculously complicated cookie-baking.” ”Why quilt cookies? Who knows how the girl thinks? I just eat.”

    He also noted that he re-watched “Rear Window,” his favorite movie of all time. (“Edith Head + Grace Kelly = me fainting, every time.”) I suggested a good puzzle clue for Rear Window: Pane in the ass.

    The puzzle theme today was “THAT’S MY JAM!,” which means that’s my song. And then three long answers were song titles with types of jam in them. ”CHERRY BOMB” by the Runaways was one of them.

    It’s a very racy song, by a sexy girls band. (Have a look/listen.) I wonder if the NYT was aware of what it was offering us on this Christmas morn. Was it a little subversive plant by constructor Amie Walker? I bet she’s not telling.

    The second “jam” song was STRAWBERRY WINE by Deanna Carter. Wow — it’s a beautiful, wrenching song. And the third was RASPBERRY BERET by Prince. 

    Yacouba Sawadogo passed away earlier this month, at the age of 77, in Ouahigouya, a northern provincial capital in Burkina Faso. A lean, taciturn man who never learned to read or write, he developed a water-conservation strategy that enabled him to create a forest with more than 60 species of trees and shrubs that had no equal in the Sahel, the semidesert region stretching across Africa’s upper third.

    Sawadogo transformed the practice of what local farmers called zai — digging small pits to capture precious rainwater. The farmers typically waited until the rainy season, at the beginning of summer, to dig the zai. But Sawadogo began well before, when the earth was bone-dry. And he dug the pits wider and deeper. He put manure and rocks in the bottom. He used termites to help break up the land. The manure contained seeds. When the rain came, the rocks helped retain the water, and the water turned the seeds into seedlings, which he nurtured. The soil stayed moist for several weeks after the rainfall. The results were striking; the soil improved along with his crop yield. Sawadogo eventually helped the process along, planting trees himself. Trees protected crops from the wind.

    When arsonists, jealous of Sawadogo’s success, torched his forest several times in the 2000s, his cousin Arouna said he was “an old man with a sad face; he stayed in the ashes for several days.” But he always bounced back. He told his son “Even if I have a little bit of force left, even for one minute, if there is a tree to plant, I will do it.” He had an almost mystical relationship to his trees — the marula, the acacia, the gum arabic, the desert date tree — he treated them like humans.

    Farmers using his techniques have more than tripled their grain yields. Sawadogo won the UN Champions of the Earth award in 2020, as well as the Right Livelihood Award in Stockholm, which honors social and environmental activists.

    Mr. Sawadogo is survived by his three wives, Safiata, Khaddar Su, and Raqueta, and 27 children (!), all of whom are well-hydrated.

    Rest in peace, Yacoubo. You deserve it.

    Troubles continue to mount for beleaguered Harvard Prez Claudine Gay. Photos have been released of Gay performing a pole dance at a local strip club, hardly appropriate conduct for an academician. Plus, you could pull something and wind up in a wheelchair, and for what? Here she is, disguised in a wig that, seriously, isn’t fooling anyone. 

    At 1D today “Physicist Ernst” was Ernst MACH, a major figure in 19th century physics, philosophy and psychology. He is probably best known for his MACH number for the speed of sound through air. He was also part of a group that studied the relationship of physical stimuli and our sensations and perceptions of them, an area known as psychophysics. He discovered that our visual system exaggerates the contrast between the edges of lighter and darker areas to enhance object detection and illustrated this with his MACH Bands illusion, below.

    Although every bar is filled with one solid level of gray, we perceive narrow bands at the edges with increased contrast which does not reflect the physical reality of solid gray bars. Quod erat demonstrandum!

    Good night. See you tomorrow!

  • Silent N

    The very beautiful MING-NA Wen visits with us today. What a delight! ”Actress Wen of The Mandalorian.” I was only familiar with her voice before — she’s Disney’s Moana.

    Ming-Na recently turned 60 — can it be? She’s of Chinese descent and was born in Macau. Her mom and stepdad moved the family first to NYC and then to Pittsburgh, where they opened a Chinese restaurant (which is still in business). Ming-Na earned a degree in theater from Carnegie Mellon.

    Her first marriage was a bust, but she married Eric Michael Zee in 1995 and they have two kids and are going strong. Look how beautiful they all are — they brighten up the scene for us today.

    Ming-Na’s daughter Michaela is older now and voices Princess Jun in Disney’s animated series Sofia the First. Ming-Na was playing a doctor on ER when she was pregnant with Michaela, and the pregnancy was written into the script. Please, guys, make yourselves at home. I’ll see what’s in the fridge. Phil! We have company!! Where is he??

    We can all breathe a little easier today — the Pistoffs tied the all-time NBA single-season consecutive loss record last night at 26. Bravo, gentlemen! This loss was to Brooklyn, 126-115. They pulled to within two in the third period, but Brooklyn ran off a flurry of points and never looked back. Only two other teams have lost 26 straight in one season: the 2010-11 Cavs who were reeling from LeBron’s departure, and the 2013-14 76ers who were trying to lose (to secure a high draft pick). 

    You may be wondering how their coach has survived these historic drubbings. Well, it’s Monty Williams and he was signed to a six-year contract for $78.5 million in June. He’s currently the highest-paid coach in the NBA. Sheesh.

    Williams has known personal tragedy, which probably helps him keep things in perspective: Here he is with 4 of his 5 beautiful children, but their mom was killed in a car crash in 2016 when she was only 44. (Williams has since remarried.) Owl Chatter shares your hopes that she rests in peace, Coach.

    At 61A today, the clue was “End of autumn?” It was a trick!! The answer was SILENT N. It set Rex off as follows:

    “The only SILENT- answer I really like, or can tolerate, is SILENT E, as that is a thing you learn when you are first learning the basic rules of pronunciation as a child. SILENT N … is not such a thing. Nor is SILENT B (“thumb”). Or SILENT M (“mnemonic”). Or SILENT L (“colonel”). Or SILENT T (which could’ve at least been made relevant today ([Christmas feature?])). But wordlists have every possible SILENT- permutation in them now (probably), so here we are. Any letter can be SILENT if you want it to be (well, F, G, J, Q, V, Y, and Z have not appeared after SILENT … yet).”

    [What about invisible letters? Remember Lech Walesa? It was always pronounced with an invisible “N” in there, before the S. But that’s Polish, so I guess all bets are off.] 

    Here’s Tom Lehrer, courtesy of Rex:

    If you’re wondering what the bunch of lunatics who comprise the NYT puzzle department looks like, here you go. This is from an article about them in Vanity Fair.

    Or here:

    That’s Will Shortz in the brown leather jacket. The young Asian woman on the right is Wyna Liu, who writes the Connections puzzle which I do daily and love. As I mentioned a while ago, I met her at an XW tournament in NYC; she was seated at my table for several puzzles. When I noticed her name tag, I told her how much I enjoy her puzzles and she blushed.

    The Tiny Love Story in The Times today is by Becca Kuperschmid:

    I can’t help but think of my first love’s coffee order when the barista asks me for mine. My friends tell me to give it time. One day I will forget the little things. I will break free from the pain of remembrance. I will start anew. But I hope I never do. Ingrained in my brain’s many folds are memories of everyone I’ve ever loved. I’d rather remember than forget. She liked her coffee black.

    The Modern Love story is by Richard Morgan and it’s about his 93-year-old grandmother. When her faculties started to diminish, he refused to give in to “grayspeak” or “elderspeak” that “treats them less than sages and more like toddlers or pets.” He visited more often, even though she lived in England and he in NY. 

    “During my visits, I started throwing her curveballs: What did you do with your first-ever paycheck? What did you think about when you were hiding in caves during the war? What was the best invention of your lifetime?

    “Her answers: Buying electricity for her parents’ house so she wouldn’t have to scrape candle wax off the stairs. Eating oranges. Running water (with microwaves a close second). More than answers, they were springboards into unexpected conversations.”

    He delighted in how funny she became:

    One day after I made us coffee, I asked her: “What’s the secret to being successful in your 90s?”

    “Just try, dear. So many people are old at 60. They just want to sit all day. You won’t make it to 90 like that. You have to try.”

    “Try what?”

    “Try walking,” she said. “Try gardening. Try cooking. Trying doesn’t require a lot of trying. Just try a little. Like, with this coffee you’ve made us. I know you tried.”

    What a wonderful woman.

    Here’s another Tom Lehrer song. You may be familiar with it: it’s about birds, well, poisoning them. If you’re not familiar with it, please have a listen.

    It’s in Owl Chatter today because a taxi driver in Japan was arrested and faces up to year in jail or a fine of $7,000 for killing a pigeon. And that ain’t chicken feed. 

    Under Japan’s wildlife laws, residents may not kill or remove even the peskiest of birds without approval from the local authorities. And drivers are supposed to drive slowly while pigeons cross the road, even against the light. [Pigeons are notorious jaywalkers — ever worse than jays!]

    Anyway, so this 50-year-old cabdriver sped up when the light turned green and plowed into a flock of pigeons. Just like that! One was killed. An autopsy was ordered [I’m not kidding] that determined that it died of traumatic shock. Police said the driver said: “Roads belong to humans, so pigeons should have dodged out of the way.” Of course, that’s hardly how the pigeons see it.

    Legal experts said that the arrest of the taxi driver appeared to be less about the fate of the single pigeon and more about the social harm caused by the deliberate decision to kill a living creature.

    “The driver drove over a pigeon at a high speed,” said Kazuaki Ishii, a lawyer who specializes in animal rights, “which violates the social order that the wildlife protection and management act aims to protect.” 

    We’re closing tonight by bidding goodbye to Essra Mohawk, who passed away in Nashville two weeks ago at the age of 75. She was born Sandra Hurvitz in Philly, and was a well-respected singer-songwriter in the “flower child” era. Her song “Change of Heart” was recorded by Cyndi Lauper, and “Stronger than the Wind” by Tina Turner. Her second album (Primordial Lovers) was well-received by the critics. She worked with Frank Zappa for a while. She was married three times. She is survived by no immediate family. Here she is young — a pretty face of the 60s. Rest in peace, Essra.

    Can’t close so sadly. Here’s a holiday cat pic from Rex today. Hi Theo!  Meow.

    Merry Xmas Eve everybody! 

  • Rikishi

    If you’re at all like me, not a day goes by without you worrying whether you used enough chicken-related expressions in your writing and speech. I know — right? Part of it is it can be hard to keep them in mind. Happily, our friend Miriam Webster listed seven for us along with her word of the day today. Here they are: fly the coop, pecking order, put all your eggs in one basket, walk on eggshells, mother hen, no spring chicken, and rule the roost. If you can think of any more, please let Miriam and me know. 

    And Miriam’s word of the day today was interesting: nobby. It means chic, or cleverly stylish, and is sometimes used in a negative way: “Robert, let me tell you, I didn’t like the feel of the lobby in Berkowitz’s building. It was a little nobby. It was a nobby lobby, Bobby.”

    That bowl game I ran off to watch last night was a good one: The Gasparilla Bowl. It used to be called the St. Petersburg Bowl, but was renamed in 2017 as a nod to the legend of José Gaspar, a mythical pirate who supposedly operated in the Tampa Bay area and who is the inspiration for Tampa’s Gasparilla Pirate Festival. Anyway, when I arrived it was all tied up 17-17 at the half. Georgia Tech (for whom I was rooting) received the kickoff and ran the ball effectively for a whole bunch of plays to get to within striking distance. But on a fourth-and-one, at about the 20, they elected to take the field goal rather than go for it. I thought they should go for it — they were running so well, and I made a mental note to blame that call on the loss, if they ended up losing by four points or less. Central Florida was reputed to have a high-powered offense, and I thought we’d need more points.

    But, surprisingly, the GT coach had a better grasp of the game than me. (Hrummmph.) He knew his boys could stop UCF and was in the “let’s just start amassing points” mode. Georgia Tech went on to add a TD and another field goal, while shutting out the Knights. Final score 30-17. Since I missed the first half, I wasn’t aware that GT fell behind early 14-0 and was losing 17-3 in the second quarter. Cool.

    GT running back Jamal Haynes, a good-looking young man, was named the game’s MVP on the strength of his 128 rushing yards on 18 attempts. He’s majoring in Business Administration. He certainly gave UCF the business last night.

    I don’t read many novels these days, and back when I did most recently, I limited myself to Icelandic murder mysteries, so it’s no surprise that I hadn’t heard of ERIN Morgenstern in the puzzle today at 21A, clued as the author of The Night Circle, described in Wikipedia as “a phantasmagorical fairy tale of magic and romance set in an ahistorical late 19th century London.” She’s 45 and has a BA from Smith College.

    Hi Erin! Phil! — give her a chance to get settled! Jeez Louise!! Sorry. Love the pearls.

    I also hadn’t heard of Amanda BYNES, who popped in at 10D (“Actress Amanda”). She’s 37 now. She’s had serious emotional/mental problems. Her parents provide much support. Here’s how she looked at her best, IMO. Hang in there, AB. Things can’t be that bad if you made it into a Saturday puzzle in the goddamn NYT.

    But you know who won’t make it into the NYT puzzle? Hitler, that’s who. Even if he were clued with something like “Genocidal maniac,” he’s barred. And speaking of the genocidal maniac, he’s been in the news a lot lately, have you noticed? Yes — it’s come to this already — Trump’s language has become so Hitlerish that conservative commentator Hugh Hewitt asked him about it on Friday (as have others). Trump said: ”I know nothing about Hitler. I’m not a student of Hitler. I never read his works.” But according to the NYT (which devoted a third of a page to the story today):

    “Trump has long had a documented interest in Hitler. A table by his bed once had a copy of Hitler speeches called “My New Order,” a gift from a friend that Ivana Trump said she had seen him leaf through occasionally.”

    I don’t know — no disrespect to the deceased former wife, but it’s hard to picture Trump leafing through a book.

    The nitpickers were out in force today. The clue at 22A was “Heavyweight wrestlers,” and the answer was SUMOS. That disgusted a few commenters. Apparently they are never called sumos — only sumo wrestlers. It would be like calling baseball players “baseballs,” one noted. Then someone got even more technical and pointed out that a sumo wrestler is called a rikishi.

    OK, thanks.

    BTW, did you know that there are women rikishi too? Here are two, pictured below — can you tell which is real and which is fake?

    Enough. Tired. See you tomorrow.

  • Cranston High

    Just when it looked like things couldn’t get any worse for beleaguered Harvard University president Claudine Gay, security footage released by local police on Thursday shows her holding up a Seven-Eleven at 4 College Avenue in Somerville MA late Wednesday night. The videotape shows Gay pointing a small handgun at a terrified female cashier and saying “Hurry, bitch.”

    In Owl Chatter’s endless pursuit of nonsense and idiocy, we sometimes come across a story so ridiculous, so idiotic, that it’s nothing short of exquisite, a thing of pristine beauty. And so today, we have the full-page story (!) in the NYT about Cranston High School West in Rhode Island that is besieged by the sound of gunfire all day long from a police shooting range less than 500 yards away. Here’s the school.

    For example, on a typical day, shots ring out at 8:13 am from an AR-15 style rifle with .223-caliber bullets at 94 decibels and continue nonstop for 49 minutes. The following is the third paragraph in the story, verbatim:

    “Some days they shoot Glock pistols, like the weapons used in the mass shootings at Virginia Tech, the Charleston church and Thousand Oaks, Calif. Other days, they use AR-15-style semiautomatic rifles, similar to the ones used in the killings in Newtown, Conn.; Las Vegas; Parkland, Fla.; Buffalo and Uvalde, Texas.”

    The students are freaked at first — freezing, diving under desks — but they quickly get so used to it that it becomes normal background noise. The obvious result is they won’t react in the event of an actual shooting incident (for which they train incessantly, of course). 

    Parents are up in arms (oops, sorry), demanding the range be moved or enclosed, but the police are opposed, maintaining the facility is necessary for them to fulfill their mission of protecting the public. (Ya mean the public that is screaming its head off at you? That public?) During the pandemic, adults who stayed home instead of commuting to work couldn’t believe what they were hearing. (Play the short clip, below.)

    Incidents occur that would seem funny if the situation weren’t insane: a new art teacher diving under her desk and calling for a lockdown; visiting athletes at a track invitational “hitting the turf.” (You cannot make this stuff up.)

    Under pressure, the police applied for a $1.6 million grant to enclose the range but the request was denied. They reduced the number of outside groups that use the range and put in some sound-absorbing panels and shrubbery to dampen the noise, with laughable results of course. ”These are our last efforts,” the police told the mayor. ”We will not be making any further accommodations.”

    Owl Chatter’s advice: DUCK!!!

    So with Colorado tossing Trump off the ballot because the United States Constitution (remember that?) says his support for the insurrection disqualifies him, the Republicans are all screetching that the voters should decide – not a court. Note that they’re not saying he didn’t support the insurrection: just that the voters should decide. But the Constitution specifically takes it out of the hands of the voters in this case. That’s the whole point of the provision. Apparently, in Crazyland, it’s okay to sanctify the Constitution to support the “originalists” on the Supreme Court when they take away basic rights, but ignore it completely when it comes to Trump. 

    One to go! The Pistoffs lost a close one to the Jazz last night, but a loss is a loss. That’s 25 in a row. Tomorrow they play Brooklyn and a loss ties the all-time single-season consecutive loss record. I’ll be honest, guys — I’m getting nervous. The game’s in Brooklyn, which is a shame. It would be nice if they could tie the record in front of their fans.

    Today’s puzzle! It’s by two top-notch constructors, Brooke Husic and Brendan Emmett Quiqley, and Rex rated it “challenging.” So I’m quite proud that I was able to complete it. There was all sorts of trickery involved but I shoulda known I’d be okay when my goddam Hebrew school background helped me at 1A: ”Numbers can be read in this.” Ans: TORAH. The stuff I didn’t know filled itself in from the crosses. Like LEONA Lewis, who “played Grizabella on Broadway.” What? Who? Oh, hi Leona — nice to meet you.

    Are you thinking 5D: HOW DO YOU DO IT? (“Question expressing amazement?”) I loved 26D: ”Didn’t you just leave?” Ans: BACK SO SOON? And 21D: ”Take my word for it, you’re going to love this.” Ans: THANK ME LATER.

    At 45A, “Texter’s ta-ta” was CYA, which was new to me: It’s textspeak for “See ya.” Some folks thought it would work better as the initialism for “cover your ass.” In fact, I commented that an alternate clue could be: ”The converse of moon.” There were in fact a couple of tuchases in the puzzle! The first was at 19A with a great but hard clue: ”Emphatic suffix.” Ans: ASS. Get it? Like when you say it was a big-ASS affair, or that was some hot-ASS chili. The ASS is added for emphasis. And then 47D referenced it: ”19 across to a Brit” was ARSE. That’s why it would have been nice if CYA was used to continue the mini theme, or mini-ASS theme, if you prefer.

    OK, folks. I have to go watch the Georgia Tech-Central Florida bowl game. I have some in-laws in GA with an interest in it. So let’s end with a holiday cat pic Rex posted today. This exquisite cat is Barney. He’s a senior citizen and a professional model — this shot is from a spread he did for AARP.

    Can’t beat that for a closing. Meow.

  • Blank Space

    These are the saddest days at Owl Chatter, when our intrepid photographer Phil is off on some distant assignment. We miss combing the local streets with the cops in a police cruiser each morning, looking for his drunk, half-dressed body snoring it off in a gutter somewhere. “I think I see his other shoe up there, Officer.” How often that little delight falls to me!

    Anyway, as soon as we let him know that the town of Grindavik in Iceland was evacuated due to the threat of a nearby volcano’s erupting, he jumped on a plane to get over there. “I lava good volcano,” he punned. “Bring your camera this time!,” we yelled after him, recalling many of his previous jaunts.

    Anyway, he got some good shots for us. Here’s the dump, I mean hotel, he stayed at.

    On his way to the scene.

    Watch your feet, buddy!!

    Yikes!

    And here he is back in Grindavik, regretting where he left the rental car. ”You waived the extra insurance!!?? Oh, no!!”

    Hey, Georgie! — Frank Bruni used a great line about you in his “For the love of sentences” feature. It’s by Herb Scribner and Anne Branigin in WAPO.  “If we’ve learned anything about Santos . . . it’s that when life hands him lemons, he stuffs them into a Hermès bag filled with cash, or something.” Ha! I think they nailed you, buddy.

    Hey Puzzlers — it’s the 110th anniversary of the first published crossword puzzle. It was by Arthur Wynne, an Englishman who moved to NY, and it appeared in the New York World.

    Here’s a prettified copy:

    There are differences between it and modern puzzles, e.g., both the first and last squares of each answer are numbered. If you want to try your hand at it, jump into the grid and travel back in time. 

    (The answers appear below). 

    It was originally called a Word-Cross, but a typo turned it into Cross-Word and it stuck. The NYT scoffed at them for years and only published its first on February 15, 1942, with respected cruciverbalist Margaret Petherbridge Farrar the first editor.

    Puzzles have become very popular over the years. Even the brightest stars of Hollywood turn to them often for amusement and edification. (Sorry about this photo — I’m winging it while Phil’s off in Iceland.)

    Today’s puzzle’s theme is “Go Down in Flames,” and the constructor (David Steinberg) must be a Swiftie because he’s aware of her line in her song “Blank Space:” ”So it’s gonna be forever, or it’s gonna go down in flames” because he refers to her in a clue at 42D: “Taylor Swift’s record-setting ___ Tour.” Rex thought it was pretty brilliant because the answer (ERAS) does fill in “blank spaces.” But now my brain is starting to hurt.

    The song and video (says Taylor) are take-offs on the image some in the media created for her as an insane man-eater. NPR ranked it the #43rd greatest song by a female (or nonbinary artist) in the 21st century. The lyrics are sharp, IMO.

    Oh my god — look at that face: You look like my next mistake.

    I get drunk on jealousy
    But you’ll come back each time you leave
    ‘Cause, darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream

    Got a long list of ex-lovers: They’ll tell you I’m insane
    But I’ve got a blank space, baby, — And I’ll write your name.

    Take a look (and listen):

    Constructor Steinberg is only 27 but he’s had over 100 puzzles in the Times. He says he’s retiring from crosswords, though, and the commentariat was loudly bemoaning its loss today. 

    Here’s one of his neat, if macabre, clue/answers today: 40A: ”Socket inserts.” Answer: GLASS EYES.

    And PAM from The Office was in the grid. What a wonderful character and actress. It’s Jenna Fischer. She’ll be 50 in March. Ouch.

    Hey, Norrie — get this — Fischer is passionate about animal rescue, and she is involved with the LA organizations Kitten Rescue and Rescue Rover. Before The Office, she worked for three years doing hands-on rescue work for the organizations.  She regularly fosters cats and hosted Kitten Rescue’s annual “Fur Ball Gala” for three years.

    Speaking of cats, here’s a cutie Rex posted today. It’s Bean! Say good night, Bean. Good night everybody.

  • Through the Woods

    DK Metcalf did not have an opportunity to sign Monday night since he did not score a TD in the Seahawk’s upset of the floundering Eagles. But he led Seattle in catches and receiving yards and was spectacular. Here’s one of his gems, in double coverage:

    In other sports news, the Detroit Pistoffs kept their streak alive with a brilliant 130-124 loss to the mediocre Atlanta Hawks (11-15) in Atlanta. That’s 24 losses in a row. The boys actually opened the season 2-1. Now (you can do the math), they are 2-25. Next up: The 10-17 Utah Jazz, in Motown, on Thursday.

    This poem, by Thomas R. Smith, is called “Housewarming.” It’s from yesterday’s Writer’s Almanac.

    In my dream I was the first to arrive
    at the old home from the church. Wind
    and night had forced through the cracks.
    I pushed inside, turned on the lamps,
    lit a fire in the stove. Frozen oak
    logs stung my fingers; it was good
    pain, my hands reddening on the icy
    broom-handle as I swept away snow.
    On Christmas Eve, I prepared a warm
    place for my mother and father, sister
    and brothers, grandparents, all my relatives,
    none dead, none missing, none angry
    with one another, all coming through the woods.

    OK, everybody — now let’s be honest. We’ve all had sex at work countless times, amirite? Any of us get fired for it? Of course not. So, WTF, Senator Cardin? — why’d you have to fire him? I’m referring of course to 24-year-old Aidan Maese-Czeropski who was an aide to the Democratic Senator (or Democrat Senator if you’re a Republican and an idiot). Aidan had sex with some guy in a hearing room, Hart 216, and it was filmed and word got out. The upshot: Goodbye Aidan. He’s upset: ”This has been a difficult time for me, as I have been attacked for who [sic] I love to pursue a political agenda.”

    Incidentally, the room they chose was the setting for several notable moments, including James Comey’s testimony about Trump in 2016 and the 9/11 commission hearings. That stuff can be quite a turn-on. I can see it.

    These are the moments when I am so thankful we have George Santos on our staff to unpack stories like these, with his own special “insider’s” point of view. This is how GS sees it, and he’s not very sympathetic:

    Having sex in a United States government building and filming it is the reason you got heat. You being gay and having gay sex NO BODY gives a rats ass… No one is perusing [sic] a political agenda, we are just disgusted about your VILE behavior as a staffer to a United States senator. Now you do put a new definition to “Fuck around and find out”! Aidan you will forever be remembered as the Democrats favorite sloppy bottom…

    [Note: That is the actual post that Santos posted. I didn’t make any of it up. No one is perusing a political agenda!]

    What a nice surprise — it’s the Pointer Sisters everybody! Today’s puzzle was about advice columns (Dear Abby and Ann Landers) so of course — it’s about giving “pointers,” and (did you know?) — Abby and Ann were sisters! So the Pointer Sisters just had to stop by at 52A. Their clue was “Grammy winners for “Jump (for My Love)” (1984),” but Rex treated us to their version of Bruce’s song “Fire” (which they turned into a hit). And I’m stealing it for OC too. I’m ridin’ in your car . . . . Turn it up!

    Unlike the Ramones, the Pointers were all actually Pointers. All but one were sisters, too. One who came on later was a daughter.

    Did someone say Ramones? Hey ho, let’s go!

    Here’s a comment from Rex’s blog today:

    “As a socially-awkward kid in the 90s, I enjoyed reading the Dear Abby and Ann Landers columns. If you know your friend’s spouse is cheating on them, should you tell the friend? Answer: No… especially if his or her spouse is cheating with you.”

    Another one:

    “Abby (Van Buren) was a neighbor of ours in California in the ’50s. Locals said she and her sister (Ann Landers) never got along. Supposedly Abby was resentful that Ann had stolen her idea for an advice column, and was more successful at it. How could they be advising others about relationships when they couldn’t get along themselves?”

    One more:

    The best advice I ever saw in Ann Landers (or was it Dear Abby?): After a long, truly awful letter about someone’s horrible husband and whether the advice seeker should leave or stay, Ann (or Abby?) gave this timeless advice: Would my life be better with him or without him?

    How’s this for a back-and-forth —

    First comment: When I was a lad, Ann Landers was the column run by our local paper. All I remember about her column was what seemed to be a years-long debate about the correct way to hang toilet paper.

    Response: THIRTY SEVEN YEARS (that’s 37! ) my wife hangs toilet paper any which-a-way like a, like a, aaah, crazy person, as if the fate of the universe plays no role in our destinies. Toilet paper engineers and designers make one side pretty on purpose. I quietly fix her maniacal hanging job for her hoping to clean up our kharma. I fix it at friends’ houses too. Somebody somewhere has to care or society goes to the dogs.

    Trivia du jour: Ann Landers was grandmother to Dean Phillips, Democratic representative from the 3rd district in Minnesota, who is running for President.

    The clue at 5D was “Egyptian sun god,” and the answer was AMONRA. Whenever this god appears, there is grumbling about how it’s spelled. Apparently it can be spelled three or four different ways. And today this note appeared:

    “There’s a football player for the Detroit Lions, a wide receiver, named AMON-RA St. Brown, maybe we can substitute him for the Sun God in future clues. He has a brother who is a wide receiver for the Chicago Bears, named Equanimeous, so when that name comes up. . . “

    So I did a little digging:

    Eq’s full name is Equanimeous Tristan Imhotep J. St. Brown. His bro’s full name is: Amon-Ra Julian Heru J. St. Brown. They have another brother, Osiris, who was also a wide receiver (at Stanford), but is not in the NFL. Their parents’ last name is Brown, but the boys all have the last name of St. Brown. Their dad was a professional bodybuilder and was a two-time amateur Mr. Universe.  

    Here are, first, Amon-Ra the all-powerful sun god, and, next, Amon-Ra, the all-pro wide receiver, back-flipping over a defender.

    We’re ending on a very sad note today — in close to 400 Owl Chatter posts (I know, hard to believe), this is the most upsetting story I’ve encountered. Take a look at this beautiful English schoolgirl, 16-year-old, Brianna Ghey. 

    Brianna was transgender and was murdered by two sociopathic 16-year-olds last February, one boy and one girl. They were convicted this month. The jury took under four hours to reach their verdict. Brianna was lured into a park. The killers planned her death in detail. She was stabbed with a hunting knife 28 times in her head, neck, chest and back. In messages between them, the killers wondered if she’d scream as a boy or a girl.

    Deputy chief crown prosecutor Ursula Doyle said: “This has been one of the most distressing cases I have ever dealt with.”

    Here are Brianna’s mom and sister:

    Brianna’s mother described her daughter as fearless. “She wanted to identify as a female and she wanted to wear the girl’s school uniform and yeah she just did it. It wasn’t a hurdle at all for her.”

    Meanwhile, here in the States, anti-trans legislation continues its steady ride through Republican legislatures.

    Rest in peace, Brianna.